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42 M Brooklyn, NY

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 2:31am
White, Other
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Buddhism, and laughing about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Sales / Marketing
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Japanese (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I sometimes dream I can fly. In those dreams, the knowledge is just a thing, I don't discover it, and it's not surprising to anyone else. Sometimes other people can fly, sometimes they can't. To fly, I run and then launch myself into the air, and have to "catch" just right. It's some sort of mental state where if I don't "catch" right, I drift downwards, but if I do, I can keep swimming upwards and gravity is only a gentle tug. I can swim the air, and keep moving up and down.

That feeling exists only in dreams, but I remember it.

I've recently moved to Brooklyn and would like to make friends for hanging out, drinking, chatting, brunching (I hear that's popular here) and so on with. If you're a Brooklyn native who'd like a friend (no relationship required) drop me a line and we can go out for a coffee or a beer some time.

Like most of us, I've been hammered by the recession. I've got less money to blow (slightly more with the raise!), but more interest in things like cooking in bulk, spending time with friends, meeting new people, and engaging in low-cost fun.

I'm polyamorous, which means to me that I'm never going to see monogamy as a default state for my life. I may end up with only one partner, but the potential for multiple relationships is always there. I've been poly for over 10 years. Community building is important to me. I wish to heck there was a "no messages from poly people" function on this site. It'd save me time in contacting people who're not poly but are high matches.

I love cooking, and feeding people. Food is love. I think a cookbook is more of a guideline than a set of rules. My general preference in cooking is to throw stuff together in sensible proportions, add heat, and expect it to come out tasty. I'm the sort of person who gets ideas by eating something at a restaurant and then creating something like what I ate, only better. If we become friends, good food will probably be involved somehow.

I enjoy the arts. Everything from the cave paintings at Lascaux to 3-D digital art, Prokofiev to the Pogues, and so on. I particularly love Jazz, with a focus on beebop. Miles Davis and Jackie McClean for example.

I'm moderately well educated in the visual arts. I've got some strong opinions on what is good art, and what is bad art, and also, what art I love.

Request: If you're a non-single person or someone who's OK with open relationships please go to the OK Cupid "contact us" page and request a relationship status filter. Filtering out people who're looking for singles would simplify my life. Possibly yours too.
What I’m doing with my life
Right now, I'm living in NYC after a stint in LA and San Francisco, trying to build a community around me, finding out who I am and who I want to be. I'm also building a really great relationship with Rosefox, whom I love dearly, and also we're both living with Rosefox's partner X, who I'm not in a relationship with but am quite fond of as a friend.

For work, I'm blogging, doing freelance business writing, and working at a tech startup in the SoHo area.
I’m really good at
Listening and paying attention to people. I pride myself on that. I may miss things, or forget names, but the details about what someone likes or does not like, especially how they like to be treated come easily to me. I have some sort of grand intuitive filing system that lets me know what people's buttons are, how not to push them, and what they seem to respond well to.

I read quite fast.
The first things people usually notice about me
You tell me. There are photographs of me. What did you notice about them? What about my profile? Did anything stand out? Extra points if you mention this in any messages to me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't think that way. I don't have "favorites" or "best such and forth". I just like things because I like them. Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. I have trouble grading them in some sort of set point value scheme.

OK. So, I Like "Buckaroo Banzai" and "Big Trouble in Little China". The Third Man is the best example of cinematography I've ever seen. I liked "Akira Kurasawa's Dreams" for many reasons. I can watch a movie for pure visual fun, like "What Dreams May Come". I can also enjoy a movie for the cheese factor, like "Kull The Conqeror".

I'm probably the most omnivorous person you'll ever meet. I eat and enjoy pretty much everything, with the exception of sea urchin eggs -( Note I had some I like, so that's off the list! Success! ) I like *everything* now. These days I'm enjoying cooking with Middle Eastern spices, French and Italian sauces ( I make the best Marsala sauce I've ever had. I think I'm spoiled for other versions), Latin American flavors, and general savory stuff.
The six things I could never do without
This has to be my least favorite part of the profile. I don't do favorites, I don't think in terms of things I could never do without. I'm a white male American. How much more privileged can I get? Thinking about things I "can't do without" is just ignoring that privilege. We should think about things we take for granted that most of the world is forced to do without.

Did I mention I'm a bit of a radical?

Here's a request instead - do you, or anyone you know, have a really good translation of "The New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus into Spanish? How about Arabic? I'd like to piss off some anti-immigrant types.

I *could* do without the 30 or so percent of the US who think Bush was our savior, Obama is a Muslim, and the banks failed because greedy minorities took out too many mortgages. [edit - oh, and anti-union sentiment. Hate that too]

Also, if I never hear some right wing jerkwad use the word "Islamosacist", it will be too soon.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Lets turn that around. If you message me, and want a reply, you have to include a question about the most private thing you'd want to ask me. I can't promise a reply, but it's a good filter to see if you're read my entire profile.

I also can't promise that rude or gross questions won't be met with "get lost" and that person getting banned from further replies.

I'd admit that there are naked pictures of me on the internet, but, have you not seen my profile photos already? Sheesh.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–70
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
If you can provide a translation for The New Colossus into Spanish or Arabic. If you can manage either, I promise a response.

You should message me if you're interested in someone who'll be fun, kind, giving, tolerant, and considerate. You should be interested in actually talking about something artistic or creative.

You should know that I'm comfortable with getting to know someone over a long span of time, and possibly not even having a romantic relationship, but I am currently looking for romance. If you just want a friend, that's good too. Even if you're not sure. I'm happy to explore options with no pressure.

If you're a guy - OK, I have to admit that right now, if you're a guy and message me, chances are I won't respond if you're just looking for a hookup. Yes, guy who keeps sending me one liners asking for a hookup, THIS MEANS YOU.

My romantic relationships with men usually grow out of friendships, and I want to feel comfortable around a guy before I dive into a relationship, or even just make out. Unless you're at a party where a cloven orange game is being played, then I'll make out with all sorts of people.

Yes, I'm sure I'm bi despite that.

Also, most messages from guys I've gotten include phrases like "ur hot want 2 meet?". Do you have any idea how unattractive that is? No, probably not. In fact, you probably don't even read profiles. STOP GIVING GAY/BI MEN A BAD NAME! Hell, just stop giving men a bad name.

What types am I attracted to?

Queer/bi identified women and men

Well educated, but not necessarily college educated

Kinky, but not lifestyle kinky

Left wing politics including feminism/ally-dom, race and class politics

Can write a coherent, interesting first contact email to me. "Do you want to meet" is not interesting. Go away.