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skank-o-holic

31 F Crapo, MD

I’m looking for

  • Bi guys only
  • Ages 18–81
  • Located anywhere
  • For short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:57pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
Asian, Black, Native American
Height
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Jacked
Diet
Strictly halal
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Very often
Drugs
Often
Religion
Sign
Sagittarius, and it matters a lot
Education
Working on high school
Job
Rather not say
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Married
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Dislikes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Poorly), Sanskrit (Fluently), Chechen, LISP

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Banned from fetlife (FL) as well as facebook (FB) , I found myself on here. Welcome, me.

I am fairly famous. You might have seen me on TV, namely on the Animal Planet's series "Monsters Inside Me" as well as Discovery's "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant".

My official abbreviated self summary is the following: Deep inside I am a little girl living in the big wide universe. I am the ideal mix of both worlds as I am a combo of two separate, yet beautifully fused, entities existing on two different planes. (This is actually a riddle, for astral travelers.)

For a living, I combine pleasure with business: I write poems, novels and short screenplays on topics such as paranormal romance including vampires, shifters, mermaids, fae, angels, dragons, ghosts, sprites, leprechauns, and similar profitable figures these days. Due to increasing popularity of BDSM, I have also started focusing on sexual and perverse sagas involving whips, chains and strap-ons.

I'm plainly gorgeous in real life and you should be as well. This is not negotiable. Outer beauty is where it's at. Furthermore, I'm a khunt. If that's your thing, you've arrived at the right place. Now sit back and take it all in.

I truly feast on this lovefest that is online dating buffet. I'll milk it until the cows come home. I am a true believer of many things and some of those are LTR and BLT. I dig stuffed mushrooms, a variety of pu pu platters, and the Disney movie Eraserhead. Lastly but not leastly, I am a gastronomer and a poet: In my fun spare time I love to daydream and float in space, diving into the vast deep purple haze. *

*A courtesy outline was provided to me by Okcupid to write this first and foremost paragraph for which I am grateful.

Now in Sanskrit:
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir. Ce qui se passera aux calendes grecques.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Fuck like I know.

Rock out with my $ out.
I have a truly awful sense of humour.
Excuse me (while I kiss [...]).

What I'm also doing with life is trying to live it a little. Not in moderation. I don't learn via trial and error but through a head on collision mainly.

An inebriated sage once told me: "Don't worry 'bout the dumb shit." It's all been a one big bright eureka ever since.

Realizing that according to OKC, I am more sloppy, more drug friendly, more sex driven and arrogant than I originally thought! Oh lawd have mercy.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Dating.
Shopping.
Looking beautiful.
Walking in 6.75 inch stilettos.
Flabbergasting.
Self procreation.
Giving affordable psychological advice.
Letting people fall in love with me.
Being me.
Being highly inappropriate and a prude. Simultaneously.
Being a sheep(le) in the disguise of a big bad wolf.
Enjoying my real self.
Enjoying your self and your wallet.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Being a complete skankoholic. If you're at a certain age when you have absolutely no clue what that means, there's no reason for you to waste my time by reading my profile any further.

My height perhaps?
The only other person I know who's taller than me is my father who is 6'4.5". On the other hand, my mother is only 4'11". Proof that opposites attract.

People who meet me off this site tell me..."whoa shortie, you didn't lie about your height. But damn girl, you were not truthful about your weight. You look about 30 lbs. less." Whatever. Many guys that I've met off of the internet lied to me about the amount of their hair, age, paycheck and marital status, in addition to the size of their genitalia. So it happens I haven't had many second dates.

My eyes? They're electric blue. I tell people, thank you but these are actually contacts. Subsequently they ask about the brand and price. I tell them about the contact eye exam costing about a hundred dollars. At discount places. They say fuck it and leave without saying bye. You should not.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm an extremely low maintenance type of chick; 4-5 pizzas on a weekly basis ain't gonna break your bank. My fav is Pizza Papa Hut, mostly. They have amazing recession proof pizzas. I like my pepperonis just a teeny bit toasted so that the fatty particles melt to a certain degree. No monies were received during making of this section of the profile.

Shows-movies-cartoons: anything mind-fucking.
Books: anything mind-fucking. In the academia sense.
Melodies: a re/mix of Lucy in the Sky and Windowlicker.
Food, aside from pizza: yummy meaty subs. As in submissives.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Me♥, myself and I.
Times two.

(Tricky question but actually a no brainer.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to literally hijack Luke MacFarlane's* liquid genetics. I am ready to have some hot ass spawns. Help me in my quest and I assure you, I will make it worth your while. You could even be my sugar baby for life.

*Update: Screw that dude, someone just told me he's not into chicks. I still dig 'em rainbow boys though just as much as unicorns.

Now, back to the scheduled mandatory OK paragraph, i.e., I spend my life thinking about:

All the good things Internet has to offer.
How beautiful the world and I is.
What's on tv at the moment.
How much less money I'll be making next month.
How many children I'll manage to pop out.
My financially stimulating husband.
My liberal boyfriend.
My BFF fuck buddy.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Depends. If it's a very typical Black Friday, I'm likely amok.

But seriously, either hanging out with my friends in Anacostia or getting my dance on ...wherever the local tipsy hotties bump'n grind.

Every other typical Friday night I enjoy a quiet down time and stay in, by the fire, and I also happen to masturbate to this.

Otherwise, on a typical Friday night involving a full moon, I conduct love spells. If you have your photo posted here, it is highly likely I will whip up a spell and subsequently you will fall for me, hard.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Oh pleaze. This inquiry infuriates me as I value privacy too much to reveal and/or admit to anything of worth online, for it is a jungle out here. Nevertheless, I do admit things of private kind when massively drunk.

I have a detachable penis.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You, like me, identify as an extraterrestrial as well as a scientologist and seek the best match to mate with, in terms of a perfect complementary deoxyribonucleic acid fit.

You enjoy short term dating, as opposed to long term dating.
You want to offer ideas as to how to spice up my profile and make it even sexier.

Please refrain from contacting me if you're a slore. Those have been throwing themselves at me since the mid 90's.

Also, please stop stalking me if you don't have a worthwhile romance to bring to the table.

Additionally, do not message me if you're more or less a fug.