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30 Washington, DC Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 27–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Feb 18
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Graduated from university

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I have no idea how to use this site. Dating in the wild tends toward two scenarios:
1) Meet friend of a friend, instant chemistry, done
2) Slow burning awkwardness with someone you see on the regular, eventual reciprocation

Remember college? The days when you could meet someone in a bar or a lawn or a roof or whatever and think, "Hot damn, isn't this a fine physical specimen? Onward."

This site introduces the complexity of finding out that 90% of the population, if asked, describes themselves using what appears to be boilerplate madlib material filled in with earnestness and cliche. Stick around long enough and learn of the remaining 10% the terrifying number who are willing to admit that they have a "racial preference" or consider women "obligated" to shave their legs.

You are either a well adjusted human and this discovery is neutral to good in terms of your romantic prospects, or you are a hopeless case like me.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to round out this game:
Round 1: What is your favorite color?
The Most Pretentious Answer: International Klein Blue
Round 2: What is your favorite meme?
The Most Pretentious Answer: Agriculture
Round 3: What breaks your heart?
The Most Pretentious Answer: Derivative Art
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Exploiting the "loveless, sexless marriage" loophole during particularly unpalatable rounds of fuck/marry/kill.

I tend to reserve the "biblical, polygamous marriage" loophole for special occasions.

Burying my own earnestness under a socially appropriate layer of sarcasm and razor sharp wit.

Also my pics are over here.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I am no longer capable of being entertained.

ok, fine:
alien & aliens, peanut butter, avocados, cormac mccarthy, the atlantic, mostly easy pop music (i do not try hard here), the knowles-carter kingdom, spicy anything, green & white tea, snatch, anchorman, galaxy quest, anything scary that is not torture porn, guillermo del toro, christopher nolan, metafilter, pie

an entire pie
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I would have listed my five things and then sex, but it turns out there are levels of survival I had not quite anticipated
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to make nihilism sexy to rockstars.
Hey baby. Hey.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Accepting that I am old enough to shun the living in favor of binge watching tv/movies on netflix with my room mates.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I did the friends with benefits thing a while ago. The second time this gentleman and I agreed to "hang out" we went to grab dinner down the street. I was in the middle of recounting a story about how I signed a saving it for marriage pledge during my (evangelical) teenage years, when, to my horror, an older man at a table nearby stood up and started to walk over to our booth. I was absolutely floored that I was going to have to deal with this, that I had offended some older conservative dude with all my talking of sex and religion with such profanity to the point that he was going to interrupt my "date" to check on the state of my soul when I was just trying to get dinner before getting laid.

It was my dad.
He occasionally drives through nova for work. Was planning on stopping by to surprise me after he grabbed dinner.

Instead we all had dinner. Together.
Me and my Dad and my new friend.

When new friend (finally) left for a minute to go to the restroom, I of course burst into a "WHAT THE FUCK DAD WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" and all he had to say was "That guy is a joke and you know it."

You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you have a more nuanced version of humor than absolutely nothing held sacred.

you can be charming.