Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

slappathabass

27 Tempe, AZ Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 19–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Aug 10
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Trying to quit
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My overall philosophy is this; try to be a good person. If that's too hard at least try not to be such an asshole.

I'm from South Florida originally but I've been in AZ for about 8 years now. Graduated from ASU with a degree in Political Science thinking I'd go into campaigning but it's a dirty world with inconsistent work.

I love talking about serious topics and generally despise idle chatter but unfortunately it seems that a certain amount of that is bound to pop up on dates no matter how hard you try.

I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not shallow. Looks matter to me as I think they matter to everyone. However, it takes more than looks to make me interested in a woman. I am very attracted to intelligent women. Women that are opinionated and loud and know what they like and aren't afraid to say it.

A particularly sick and twisted sense of humor is a necessity as I was raised on the greats of stand-up (Carlin, Pryor, Moore, Kinison, etc). I sometimes get mistaken for an asshole but I promise that most things that sound mean were only said in jest to get a rise out of someone or was a pop culture reference that flew over someones head. Or an insult. I am kind of an asshole now that I think about it.

I'm really a nice guy. I'm not a nice guy just because I think it's going to get me anywhere or get me anything from anyone. I try to be a good person, not because of what it brings to me or gets out of other people, but because I think being nice and considerate of other people and who they are and what they're going through is least you can do to be a good person.

I really just want to find someone that I can talk to first. If we can't hold a decent conversation I doubt you'll hold my attention for very long anywhere else.

I'm just looking for a friend who happens to be female who wants to hang out, watch tv, spoon, and so on.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
If I could make a living playing music and making people laugh I would do it in heartbeat. Until that comes to fruition I'm going to keep working in social media. It ain't too bad getting paid to essentially fuck around on the interwebz all day. And I get to help small businesses grow at the same time! Win-friggin'-win.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm funny enough that I've had multiple friends tell me that I should try doing a stand-up open mic but I know well enough that there's a tremendous difference between being conversationally funny and being funny on stage. That being said, I seriously need to try a comedy open mike night sometime because if I were on my game, and prepared a few lines, I'd probably kill it.

I'm very good at playing bass and I know that may sound arrogant but it's true. It's not like being a phenomenal bass player has ever been something that anyone would brag about but it is something that I am very passionate about and have dedicated my life and time to since I was 12.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The beard. Everyone always assumes I'm Irish too. I'm not, not that there's anything wrong with being Irish, but if I had a dollar for every time someone assumed I was I'd be significantly wealthier than I am today.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books - Nietzsche, Bukowski, Hemingway, Voltaire, Chomsky, mostly non-fiction (or quasi-fictional satire) and philosophical mumbo-jumbo.

Movies - Most Mel Brooks (nix Dracula Dead and Loving It and Silent Movie), anything from Studio Ghibli, most Tarentino, anything by Aronofsky. I'm always up for a good comedy or something that will make you think.

Shows - Daily Show/Colbert Report, South Park, Futurama, Bob's Burgers, Archer, Family Guy, Community, Parks and Rec, In Living Color, Game of Thrones, Arrested Development, How I Met Your Mother, House of Cards.

Music - I grew up listening to Motown (Temptations, Marvin Gaye, Four Tops) and classic rock (Floyd, Zeppelin, Hendrix, Cream) and play in what I guess could be described as a blues/rock/funk/folk band that plays somewhat regularly around town. Yea I know that probably doesn't do much to put a sound in your head so just come out to one of our shows instead.

When I'm not working I'm spending time with my bandmates either practicing or just messing around.

Sinatra is my man though. That guy's gotten me through some rough times.

Also super hipstery stuff (The Shins, Neutral Milk Hotel, My Morning Jacket, CURSIVE, The Faint, Fleet Foxes, Mumford and Sons, The Lumineers, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Arcade Fire, etc.)

Oh and gotta love some rap. Aesop Rock, Murs, Wu-Tang, Eyedea and Abilities, Eminem, Big, Pac, Jay-Z, J. Cole, Mos Def, The Game.

Food - Italian, Indian, Thai, Vietnamese, Jewish Delis, Ethiopian, Jamaican/Guayanese, Chinese, Sushi, if it's good I'll give it a try.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
a guitar of some kind
family
reddit
friends
good wine
good beer
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Death. Yea, I know it's morbid as hell but I can't help but feel the creeping closeness of death sometimes and it makes me want to do... things. Everything. Not bad things, don't get me wrong. I mean that when I think about my life coming to an end it makes me want to do all of the things that I've always wanted to do but put off because of things like "being responsible" and "having a job" and "needing to support myself financially."

I think it's the same existential dread felt by all 9-5 M-F workers with half a brain. I'm trapped inside some building instead of being somewhere else doing something significant with my life.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either working on new material with my band or hanging out with friends at a pub.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have no game. Really. I'm gameless. All I ever do when I meet a girl is just try to be myself and be honest and it always seems to backfire. I think it's because most women assume that I'm lying to them to try and get them to sleep with me.

So yea, this guy ^ no game.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're actually attracted to me. You're confident enough to make the first move. You've spotted a spelling or grammar mistake in my profile. You actually want to meet up in person.