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30 M Brooklyn, NY

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:57am
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Strictly vegetarian
Atheism, and very serious about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Working on masters program
Sales / Marketing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, German (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm the piece of shit from class you hated, knowing I nailed the exam only giving the material a glance...

articulate, polite, rational, quick-witted, pacifist, smartworking, word-loving, positive, self-depricating, wry, responsible, down-to-earth, conscientious, sarcastic, observant, minimalist

Emigrant from the South who went yankee three years ago. Definitely missing earth between my toes, but was missing civilization. And jobs. Happiest with a plain slice and black deli coffee. Love to waste time, but can't stand to have it done for me. Abilities coined robotic, mind deemed a jukebox and my curve natural.

Not into purchasing individuals or salvation. Geography and politics are my bag. Both leave me agape, but for opposite reasons. Lofty personal standards render incompetence and flightiness intolerable. Teach me something!

I tend to gravitate towards women with balls. Metaphorical balls. (edit: crazy ≠ balls) Few things more attractive than a woman straight killin' it. I like a woman talking current events one minute and smack the next. Weave current events into smacktalk and I'm smitten. Not into high-maintenance or easily offended. Ears stand subway decibels. Drizzle doesn't cause melting. No hand sanitizer. Rogue insects don't produce slasher flicks. Familiarity with a campsite is a plus!

Most people try to win 'Apples to Apples.' That shit's a word game and I treat it as such. Anyone who thinks Elvis wasn't 'bold,' is a goddamned moron.
What I’m doing with my life
Straddling that grey area between street and book smart...

Troubleshooting and problem solving at a designer lifestyles accessories(we do tabletop: napkins, placemats, napkin rings, etc.) company for the past year and a half. Also, accounts receivable, shipping, satellite warehouse management, order entry, research, investment and sales materials production, marketing/graphics/photo production, web management, general customer servicing, etc... I'm Inventory Manager these days.

Call me Water Works, cuz' I'm utility.

Whilst not working, I'm basically Johnny 5. All about that input, being a stand-up entity, with Bonnie Tyler filtering through the background from time to time. Likely winding down the evening with drinks and bowls over discussion with roommates. Possibly a board game or some such.

Fine-tuning business plans. Terraforming. Increasing skillsets. Absorbing everything. Streaming sport. Laughing and having a good time doing it.

Finally getting published again...

Romantic Homes, April 2014

Hamptons Cottages & Gardens, July 2014
I’m really good at
mini-golf. geography. shuffleboard. matching beats. navigation. board games. efficiency. devil's advocate. throwing spirals. crossword puzzles. logistics. having my mind in the gutter. making you smile.
The first things people usually notice about me
Knights in the lobes...

Punkass? Intimidating? Mean muggin'? I make dudes hold their girl closer, older people stare and others seemingly worried by my presence. I'm quite the opposite!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My top fives. Not a reference to High Fidelity. Such a terrible, terrible movie.

Their Eyes Were Watching God
Animal Farm
The Jungle
Against All Enemies
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Dumb and Dumber(Stoked for the new one!)
Office Space
The Shawshank Redemption
Fight Club
The Rock

King of the Hill
The League
The Andy Griffith Show
Masterchef: Australia

Deep Dish
LTJ Bukem & MC Conrad
Soul Coughing
Brother Andy and His Big Damn Mouth


Oh, hey, let's not mention other avenues of exposure, e.g. the internet...

I read more words in a day than most people do in a year. Absolute Farker. Never TFer.

NYT, NPR, HuffPo, BBC, The Atlantic, Salon, Deadspin, Ars Techinca, Reason, The Onion, Opposing Views, Fox News, WaPo, Bloomberg, IBT, Bleacher Report, Forbes, The Economist, io9, The Guardian, Al Jazeera, TPM, American Thinker, Breitbart, RightWingWatch, Think Progress, Gizmodo, Business Insider, HuffPo, Politico, Regressing, NK News(I am intrigued by Best Korea)
The six things I could never do without
Camel Lights, trees, laughter, alcohol, incandescent light, sport.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
nerd shit. the number of dimensions existing. "time." infinity. asteroid, underground, pit and flattop mining. surveillance. energy. First Amendment law. social problems. efficiency. inequality. Typographē. mass transportation. Double edged swords. Double entAndres. Fucking Double Dare.

Bag draggers, pizza blotters and top-of-the-stairs-stoppers...
On a typical Friday night I am
straight to happy hour, then advancing to the dance party in my new apartment.

Tonight is for planning tomorrow's beach/baseball excursion!!!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am a rather serious cartophile...
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
you prefer knowledgeable, chill dudes that are into intelligent, confident ladies. Seriously. Nothing sexier than a learned woman.

you science.

you enjoy taking in the game, live or broadcast.

you think drinks are in order.

you possess the ability to let the elevator door close.

you formulate substantial ideas and arguments.

you laugh at all of the things.

you fancy!