Seriously, let's go for long aimless walks and talk the shit. You'll thank me later. Bike rides also work.

I still have a VHS player and actively purchase tapes, how can I say no to 5 tapes for .99 at Goodwill (including doubles). I don't recycle on a regular basis. I will probably offend you when we talk, I don't believe in political correctness.

I'm not going to beat around the bush, I'm fat. Some women say they're curvy. Some women call themselves Rubenesque. Let's be honest, I'm fat. What I am not is inactive, lazy, and a whole list of other stereotypes. I've made positive life changes and continue to work towards a healthier lifestyle. If this breaks the bank on you wanting to be friends, so it goes.

In 1860, Abraham Lincoln received this letter from a Pete Muggins in Fillmore, La.:
- "God damn your god damned old Hellfired god damned soul to hell god damn you and goddam your god damned family's god dammed hellfired god damned soul to hell and god damnnation god damn them and god damn your god damn friends to hell god damn their god damned souls to damnation."

I found The Watchmen to be an incredibly hilarious soft-core porn that happened to have an initial near rape and lots of "action."

I am a girl, or so I have noticed in the mirror/while bathing. The usual things apply, two eyes, one nose, two ears, one mouth. I sometimes wish I could have an extra _______. Sometimes I am not satisfied with only two arms, really, I would much rather have four. Other times it seems strange to only have eyes in the front of our heads. Perhaps this is just me.

Some people are bothered by the fact that I don't know, and probably will not know, 100% who I am. This does not bother me, in fact, at twenty-six I would be worried if I thought I knew exactly who I was. There are quite a few years ahead of me with which I can do some major changing and those possible changes would never be fulfilled if they were closed off early. I love learning and learning about myself is just one form of said learning.

At some point in my life I can see myself settled down. Maybe not now, maybe not in 20 years. Maybe not in marriage. A piece of paper does not make a relationship stronger, in my opinion. When I was younger, I preferred G.I. Joe to Barbie and playing Super Mario 2 to playing house.

I have a fascination with photo booths. Not the new, color, may I say "retarded" ones. I mean the black and white, get a still kind of wet strip, wait for 8-10 minutes to develop photo booths.

I love the word fuck and can sometimes be found cursing like a sailor. - thanks to whomever corrected me on this saying.

I am primarily looking for new people to banter and hang out with. If a guy is pretty rad and we hit it off great. If I meet people to hit up a thrift store or have a bad movie marathon with fantastic.

I am fuck it, Dude, and let's go bowling

I have a degree that looks pretty, in a box, and I was working a job- note the difference between job and career- to pay off said pretty degree.

It took two years to realize that the job I had was slowly driving me insane. I left it and am attending massage school. Haters gonna hate, but really, making others feel good and working with my hands (which are incredibly warm at all times) makes me HAPPY. And that is what is important.

** update**
Finished schooling and passed the NCBTMB on the first try, which sounds more difficult than it was. Send in some paperwork to the state and I am seeeeeeeet.

I'm welcome to change even if I often seem stuck in my ways.

Being addicted to Netflix. Not having cable will do that to you.

Folding linens. I am a wonder at the tri-fold. Also, I can handle
them thar fitted sheets. This skill has been acquired through many
launderings for massage.

Being sarcastic. Politically incorrect jokes. Bullshitting.

Finding stuff at thrift stores, really, just ask me and I will find it.

Finding my way through the Munich airport.

Changing my mind at least 68% of the time.

Making up statistics.

My glasses are most often crooked. After that it could be my x-rayesque eyes or heaving bosom.

I'm not Twiggy.

a) Candide, The Fall, The Stranger, The Trial, (a lot of the's), Lolita, Unbearable Lightness of Being, Doors of Perception/ Heaven and Hell, Brave New World, lets segue into authors... Huxley, Marquez, Camus, Hawthorne, Voltaire, Johnson (a few), Pope, Chaucer, etc, etc,

No I am not full of myself, I am an English major, this is what I do. I like Ellis, Sedaris, Robbins and various other not so uppity people too.

My love affair with the romance novel has ended until I reach silver fox status but this doesn't mean that my love affair with silver fox status shows has ended.

b) I love THE BIG LEBOWSKI(win), Hitchcock, and Mel Brooks. Harold and Maude, Gosford Park, La Strada, Umberto D., Black Orpheus, Dazed and Confused, Rules of the Game, Clerks, Dogma, Memento, The Departed, Super Troopers, Grandma's Boy, True Romance, Shortbus, Carnival of Souls, various zombie movies, yes, some Disney movies but the classics like Sword in the Stone and Sleeping Beauty. Twin Peaks, Carnivale, Deadwood, Big Bang Theory, Archer, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, MST3K, various History Channel shows that come up on Netflix.

Relatively recently: Barney's Version, Limitless, Unknown. Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, etc.

c) I am no music snob but one would find mostly classic rock, folk, bluegrass, jazz, and some 90's rap. After that, a little of this a little of that.

"I played over the music of that scoundrel Brahms. What a giftless bastard! It annoys me that this self-inflated mediocrity is hailed as a genius. Why, in comparison with him, Raff is a giant, not to speak of Rubinstein, who is after all a live and important human being, while Brahms is chaotic and absolutely empty dried-up stuff." — Tchaikovsky's diary, Oct. 9, 1886

d) You cook it, I'll eat it. Unless it involves peas. I detest peas.

Books, books, feather pillows, smirking, milk, incredulous looks, more to come, maybe.

Clouds, how big strangers' packages are*, finding that book at Goodwill.

This statement used to be true 100% of the time but since having actually learned muscles I can't help but notice issues that can be helped through massage. This has replaced guessing strangers' packages roughly 98% of the time.

Sometimes I don't even know until I do it.

Rebuilding my music library. If you wish to contribute, let me know. I am always open to being introduced to new sounds.

I am a master with red lipstick but can't pull off a smokey eye to save my life. I just look like I've been punched twice in the face- really hard.

The next time I watch a friend's child and they ask me about babies I am going to tell them "Ice cream makes you pregnant."

"Do they even have pumpkins in Costa Rica?"
If you hang out with me you will have many fanfuckingtastic quotes to use. They would have been uttered seriously to boot.

I own the definitive collection of Twilight Zone and am hellbent on completing Golden Girls and MST3K.

Update: I completed Golden Girls and am working on Murder, She Wrote. Don't worry, I draw the line at Rockford Files and Columbo. Watching the re-runs when I had cable was enough.

You're local and want a dog park buddy. Or a walk/hike/bike/explore buddy.

You secretly (or not so secretly) enjoy bossa nova, 90's- not including Pearl Jam, or Supertramp.

One of your top five most frequently used words is "fuck."

You feel like it.

It isn't a message asking if I want to have sex with you.

You want to go out for a drink sometime (dutch of course).

TyPinG LiKE ThIS BotHErs U! LoL, U r KeWl!!!!

You want to banter.

You want me to message you back. (Sometimes it might take awhile- not in a I'm too cool to message you way but in a I'm usually mobile and want to send a thought out response).

You are an LMP and love it- or even if you hate it.

You like mint Oreos and porn, not necessarily together.

You, too, are a fan of photobooths. Perhaps you want to join me.
Oregon:
Ace Hotel, Portland
Ground Kontrol, Portland (one of my favorites)
Matador, Portland
Funland Arcade I, Seaside
Funland Arcade II, Seaside

Washington:
Puyallup Fair, Puyallup
Archie McPhee, Seattle
Cha Cha Lounge, Seattle
Cowgirls Inc., Seattle
Goldie's on 45th, Seattle
High Dive, Seattle
Jillian's, Seattle
Pacific Science Center Bldg. 1, Seattle
Pacific Science Center Bldg. 3, Seattle
Pacific Science Center Bldg. 3, Seattle
Pacific Science Center Bldg. 4, Seattle
Re-bar, Seattle
Stellar Pizza, Ale, & Cocktails, Seattle
The Ballroom, Seattle
The Garage, Seattle
The Showbox, Seattle