I'm not at all easy going. I'm strung up and surprisingly irritable. I dislike outdoor activities and prefer to sit inside disapproving of the neighborhood kids and their mirth Rather than trying new activities, I prefer to keep on touching that lever in my cage that delivers painful electric shocks. My favorite cuisine is the thickened nutiritional drink that they serve old people who have trouble swallowing. My favorite activities are scowling and cutting out cartoons of Cathy and the Shoebox greetings lady.

Everything the warning signs say not to do...Not to feed after midnight and not to expose to water. On occasion I'm known to stick it down an anthole in order to gather up those tasty ants.

Absorbing potentially lethal amounts of coffee, cream, sugar and kicking-butt 80s music from the environment and converting them to relatively harmless byproducts of pee, inane pop culture references, and as much song and dance as it takes to keep the peace.

The ankle bracelet that the state forces me to wear.

The small bird with which I live in a symbiotic relationship that picks vegetable debris from my teeth
The box upon which is written "You cannot live without this box" which a wizened old stranger gave me on my 6th birthday.
A time machine with which to go back in time and stop myself from saying inane tripe like the aforementioned.
My spider sense.
My Neil Diamond lunchbox
Coffee

How maybe stars are just like salt on God's pretzel, and he's just waiting to eat us.

stalking outside the bushes at Lisa Frank's mansion in Tucson, Arizona

Is that my ATM pin is 294929dfskfskfk!`. I got it from the financial institution of this homeless dude rifling through my garbage. I was attracted by his diversified portfolio of empty cans and hard liquor.