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30 M Pittsburgh, PA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 3:59pm
3′ 0″ (0.91m)
Body Type
Used up
Strictly vegetarian
Catholicism, and very serious about it
Libra, and it matters a lot
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
English, Croatian (Fluently), Serbian (Fluently), Russian (Okay), Spanish (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Look, let's cut to the chase here, you would hate me if we met and I don't give a hoot (or even half a hoot, those are reserved for old sea shanties and dishes that involve spelt berries). I will fiercely maintain until the end of time that I'm the laziest grossest person you've ever met, although I've probably biked 12 miles on any given day and waddled to the gym. I don't have a driver's license because it would be impossible to morally justify such a frivolity for myself, although I don't judge people who do. I don't sleep in a bed because that's a silly extravagance as well, and the handful of possessions I have I'll give away or lend to anyone who asks. And no, I don't have a beard because I fancy it would be fairly comical to expend that much effort on my outward appearance. I hang out with MIT graduates and ex-convicts, lawyers and gutter punk kids who burnt their nipples off by accident, and feel pretty comfortable in all those social circles. I know in my heart that Baltimore is the most magical place on Earth, although I love my native Los Angeles.

I am also looking for a way of combining my passions for disability rights, homeless issues, medical and health care for vulnerable populations, cats, gardening and biking into a cohesive whole. It will make one gnarly rock opera.
What I’m doing with my life
Everything the warning signs say not to do...Not to feed after midnight and not to expose to water. On occasion I'm known to stick it down an anthole in order to gather up those tasty ants. I also work on the accordion because not playing an accordion was the only thing that distinguishes me from Urkel.
I’m really good at
Absorbing potentially lethal amounts of coffee, cream, sugar and kicking-butt 80s music from the environment and converting them to relatively harmless byproducts of pee, inane pop culture references, and as much song and dance as it takes to keep the peace.
Oh, and through my antics exposing the rank hypocrisy and moral turpitude of lame bourgeoisie folk. I'm a regular whoever that character is from Na Rubu Pameti.
The first things people usually notice about me
The tracking bracelet on my ankle that the state forces me to wear.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Kiss My Math: Showing Pre-Algebra Who's Boss by Danica McKellar. I think in terms of genres: a heterogeneous mix of Eastern European literatures, the Spanish generation of '98 movement, nouvelle theologie and the ressourcement tradition, and I have to add instruction manuals because I've wasted so much flipping time trying to get this can opener to work.
Any movie that involves someone from the wrong side of the tracks who dreams of escaping the 'hood through their passion for dance, preferably involving an unlikely forbidden romance with an uptown boy/girl (this may actually be the only sincere thing in this whole profile)
Anything you would have beat someone up in high school for listening to/what you'd expect from a mopey tender Libra: Morrissey/The Smiths, Magnetic Fields, Belle and Sebastian, The Cure and miscellaneous new wave 80s music. I also added Yugoslav rock music to my repertoire, because that's pretty darn mopey too. "There are nights when I drink sorrow instead of wine"--God, I thought Morrissey was bad. And as a good Californian patriot, I am required to blast Mana and related rock en espanol from my bike speakers to piss off people.
Anything you're not going to finish.
The six things I could never do without
The small bird with which I live in a symbiotic relationship that picks vegetable debris from my teeth
The box upon which is written "You cannot live without this box" which a wizened old stranger gave me on my 6th birthday.
A time machine with which to go back in time and stop myself from saying inane tripe like the aforementioned.
My spider sense.
My Neil Diamond lunchbox
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How maybe stars are salt on God's pretzel. And he's just waiting to eat us.

Oh, and how is it that Utah of all places became the most enlightened civilized state in the union, so much so that I mean to acquire some trading cards featuring members of the state legislature?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Is that my ATM pin is 294929dfskfskfk!`. I got it from the financial institution of this homeless dude rifling through my garbage. I was attracted by his diversified portfolio of empty cans and hard liquor.
Also, I kind of hate white people. I know it's terribly racist, but everytime you turn around they're taking out their I-telephone 9g and trying to show you something on reddit or some silly crap. I just can't take that.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
You understand that though I resemble a Keebler elf, I do not have any more rooms full of cookies than the average person and still want to be my friend.
You are the keymaster, gatekeeper, or can just put in a good word for me with Zuul, maybe give him my band's demo tape.
You're the six fingered man who killed my father.
You are the wind beneath my wings.
You think you can pull off an even more awful date than all the ones I've been on. I warn you, the competition is pretty tough.