In short? Maybe one sentence? How about this, in fortune cookie form: "Opportunities for self-aggrandizement are best met by many humorous demurrals."

Later, I may do a haiku. Check back.

9/30/12: No haiku yet. You can't force these things.

I'm a Program Associate. Since that tells you slightly less than nothing, here's some context: on a daily basis, I'm called on to be a software tester, customer soother, security dude, line editor, trainer, mentor, schmoozer, process guru, and monkeyboy-with-a-wrench.

I've located the "zen" in all of this, and the variety keeps my right brain challenged and happy during the daylight hours.

(The monkeyboy part is my favorite, by the way.)

Being tangential
Being sarcastic
Running my mouth when I'm feeling passionate
Shutting up and listening when a friend is feeling passionate
Missing dropped hints
Touch
Getting lost in a book, movie, or conversation

In person: If we're hitting it off, a sly grin and teasing manner.

In type: I'm a little too proud of my own supposed cleverness. Plus, I'm a huge fan of the semicolon.

I dig: sci-fi and zombie flicks, stories from the golden age of Weird Tales, gadgets -- I'm the kid in high school who had the huge calculator watch -- and pulling things apart to see how they work. My idea of a "guys night" has nothing to do with sports, but instead involves breaking out the beers and funny looking dice.

Music: Neko Case rocks my world, along with Patty Griffin, Tom Waits, Jenny Lewis, AC/DC, older U2, Franz Ferdinand and Midnight Oil, and Queen. Bonus points if you know who Joe Satriani is.

Movies: Young Frankenstein, Shaun of the Dead, Fight Club, Pulp Fiction, American Beauty, Memento, Dead Snow, Alien, Hanna

Comedy: George Carlin was my first man-crush. I also dig Eddie Izzard, Mike Bribiglia, the Daily Show, Kids in the Hall and the Onion.

Food: Yes, please. Sushi and Indian rate at the top of my list.

6. absurdity: joking about the strangeness of the world cleanses the soul

5. at least two simultaneously unfinished, dog-eared books

4. You know when you're with friends and someone says something funny, and you can't stop laughing, and try to force yourself to stop, but fail, because someone else started up again, and just at the moment when you're *sure* you're going to pee yourself, you finally stop, because you're all out of air? That.

3. a bevy of guitars to experiment upon

2. quiet time to reflect

1. failure: really fucking something up is a powerful teacher

Lately, I've been preoccupied with finding a life balance that suits my non-shy yet introverted sensibility.

Also, I often wonder: why does my otherwise uber-smart coffee maker allow me to brew without a coffee pot in place? And what's that burning smell?

Socialgeeky: Movie night with friends or, very occasionally, out or in for a drink.

Sologeeky: At the gym... or on my couch, making out with a full bowl of popcorn while watching terrible sci fi.

The alternate reading of this question makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.

I'm going to try the reverse method for a while, just because I've goofed off through 80% of this profile. So, in all seriousness, know that we're likely a bad match if:

...you're a super-duper brassy extrovert. The world needs ya, best of luck to ya, but wincing takes a lot of energy, and I need to save some of that for work and stuff.

...you can't be bothered to capitalize, use punctuation or structure your thoughts into paragraphs when writing.

Made it through all that? Wow -- I'm impressed. In that case, please DO message me if:

...my profile made you laugh, grin or wonder.