smash_it
34 Arvada, CO
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smash_it
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My self-summary
I am busy. I am tired. I am awesome.

I have been trying to make myself less stressed by traveling to places I've always wanted to go, and trying to breathe more.

I have a big heart and a dirty mouth.

I collect weird things when I wander around thrift stores and antique shops. My favorites are my taxidermied bat, grey fox skull, tons of apothecaries, my unicorn drinking horn, and my dragonfly that I taxidermied myself. I'm kind of weird. But it's kind of fabulous.
What I’m doing with my life
I am a hospice nurse for an amazing organization. Those who are going through the process of dying are the most amazing beings on this earth. They have lived, loved, and laughed more than I can ever comprehend, Whether they are 85 years old or 3 years old. They showcase a genuine need for people like me to help them take their steps into their next life. I feel blessed that I am able to give them an ear, a hand, a shoulder...whatever they need.

Many don't understand when I say that death can be a very positive thing. Dying is just another part of life, and when you have support, you pass in peace.

I deal with death on a daily basis. It breaks my heart and makes me stronger every day.

On a lighter note, I've also resigned myself to the fact that I will basically be touching buttholes for the rest of my professional life.

I was in school working towards more nursing degrees for a while, but have since decided to take time to just focus on work and traveling as much as I can afford.
I’m really good at
Naps, naps, and also naps.

Hi fives, taking down shots of Jameson and glasses of Ovaltine like they were meant to be inside of my belly, cross stitching dirty words onto things, hugging hard, being curious, loving everyone who deserves it, making boner jokes, being crass, hating on geese, making comments in public that will embarrass the shit out of people, finding hot outfits at thrift stores, acing tests with droopy eyes and sleep lines across my face, crackin' wise, cooking delicious suppers, being serious when I need to be, having compassion, even when I don't want to and someone may not deserve it, ripping my clothes on people, places, and things, beating people at Scrabble, warping to world 8, pretending not to hear you, inserting an IV like a whisper on a cloud (meaning it only hurts marginally so), making fun of people who say 'a whisper on a cloud'.

Dang, check out all these things I'm good at.
The first things people usually notice about me
I think everything is funny. It's the only way to live.

Jazz hands. Usually when exiting the bathroom.

Noxema commercial skin quality.

My frequent use of the word 'boner'.

My extremely gentle soul despite how often I talk about wieners.

The fact that one of my friends is buried in my cleavage giving me a motorboat. Whether I like it or not.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: anatomy textbooks, White Oleander, Marley and Me, The Tenth Circle, Dirty, cookbooks, My Sister's Keeper, Ask a Mexican, The Onion, the social animal, the bean trees, Eroto Mania, whatever trashy novel tickles my fancy and helps pass the time in the sun.

Movies: Strange Brew, THX1138, brick, the interview, Tim & Eric awesome show great job on repeat in my dvd player, Logan's Run, Garden State, Requiem for a Dream, The Notebook, Chumscrubber, I Love You Man, Big Fish, Office Space, Batteries Not Included, The Iron Giant, Brave Little Toaster, Spirited Away, Flight of The Navigator, Wizard, Gleaming the Cube, Goonies, Weird Science, MST3K, Breakin', Seven Pounds, Donnie Darko, Anchorman, Singles, My Neighbor Totoro, Wristcutters, 3'oclock High, the last unicorn, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Lost Boys, Wet Hot American Summer

Music: Alexisonfire, The Bird and The Bee, E-40, Primus, Biz Markie, Aesop Rock, Waylon Jennings, Bjork, Damien Rice, edIT, City and Colour,saosin, destroy the runner, major lazer, attack the fire, emery, tom petty, mariachi el bronx, Animal Collective, Seba, Company Flow, Anathallo, Sunchase, nofx, Giraffes? Giraffes!, Minus the Bear, King Fantastic, Holy Fuck, We Versus the Shark, Until the ribbon breaks, k.flay, The Bangles, Mirepoix, Raymond Roker, Goldie, Ming+FS, dark heavy hard bass lines, asking abby, timbaland, the jealous sound, the bing bong bros, The Grouch, strung out, smoke or fire, the knife, Prong, No Use For A Name, She and Him, Queen, David Bowie, Trees, Qualm, Native Daughters, Mr. Bungle, Ghosts of Glaciers, The Bronx, QOTSA, Lion Sized, Mute Math, Snake Rattle Rattle Snake, etc....

Food: Homemade macaroni and cheese, gelato of any kind. I can't really eat gluten because of an autoimmune condition...but I do sometimes..and it makes me so sick...but BREAD. Fruits and vegetables that can be shoved through my juicer to make delicious slime. I do not care if my food is organic or not because...you know what our grandparents called organic food? Food.
The six things I could never do without
Sleep. Sex. Love. Laughs. Long walks. Humility.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My father, rest his soul. Hoping that I am providing good patient care. Being the next Florence Nightingale. The usual.

What I deserve in comparison to what I'm getting.

What's next.

Who I am bound to become.

dinosaur femurs.
On a typical Friday night I am
Absolutely exhausted.

Depends on the month. My schedule changes every month, and if I just pulled 12 hrs on a Friday...my pants are off and I am asleep.

Bundled up walking down cold dark streets humming tunes.

A show and beers with friends, or maybe a lady date. My friends and I go on lots of lady dates and wine and dine each other. And then we realize that we are in our 30s, and we go home and watch Netflix after we down crabs and wine.

Pretty much anything that makes me happy...whether it be sleep or whiskey. Or whiskey naps.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I will despise the fact that you write me a message consisting of maybe 3 words, like "hey what's up?", but then be a complete hypocrite and respond to your long thoughtful message with maybe 3 words, one to two of them probably being BONER.

I absolutely HATE it (but also understand) when I tell people what I do for a living, and they say..."oh, that must be so hard!"
You should message me if
You think maybe we'd be awesome friends.

You like running start high fives.

You drink Jameson.

You can raise one eyebrow.

Your baggage can fit in a carry-on.

You generally tend to give a shit.

You are fabulous at spelling words correctly.

You exit stage left, pursued by bears.

You make awkward silences happen on purpose.

You understand and appreciate the hugeness of dinosaur femurs.

You have a career that you at least tolerate, not a job...but a career. I like the people I spend time with to be settled.
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