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smaucysauce

23 M Denton, TX

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 22–28
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:42pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Hispanic / Latin
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Often
Religion
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I wonder how many people forget my name is at the top of my profile. Meh.

I'm Andrew! Son of Joe of the house of the willow. I've seen and experienced some really interesting sights and wonders.

I had this amazing paragraph detailing my ideal partner, but then I realized no one fucking reads my profile. So I can kinda put whatever I feel like on here. This should be fun.

I'm tired of stupid hipster girls, bitches that say they're feminist but they really just want to treat men the way assholes and douchebags have treated them their whole lives. I'm tired of vegans and people who are constantly looking down at others for what they eat or tell them they're destroying their bodies by eating foods made with animal parts. Let people eat whatever the fuck they want. Most vegans I know are alcoholics and chain smokers. Which brings me to my next point: hypocrites. I'm tired of seeing so many people with double standards. And people that are completely oblivious to the way they live. Does no one try to look at themselves through others eyes anymore?

Anyways

I want a girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooooonnnnnggggggg
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Kicking tires and lighting fires
Drinking beers, beers, beers
Rollin fatties, smoking blunts
Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts.
Hood rat shit.

But for real. Waiting tables and saving to go back to school. I'm dying to be educated formally again. I used to be in school, but my father got in a motorcycle accident and broke both of his legs. I kinda had to put my life on hold for a minute.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Stupid shit that will take my life nowhere useful. Like bending my fingers backward and figuring out to to pronounce peoples last names.

I'm lying about one of these.

I recently realized that I'm an autodidact: one who teaches themselves without any formal education. I read and teach myself.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My huge, throbbing brain bulging out of my skull

Idk. I don't have a mirror anymore so I've forgotten what I look like.

They probably notice my beard first. Or they hear me. I'm kinda loud as fuck.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I love comic books. Grant Morrison and Alan Moore are some of my favorites. Kingdom Come and Justice are among my new favorites. I'm a big dork/nerd. All Star Superman and The Watchmen are my favorite comics. If you wanna talk comics or superheroes with me, don't be shy.

August Burns Red, A Day To Remember, Oh. Sleeper, Cake, Weezer, Modest Mouse, Muse, Thrice, The Hush Sound, Local Natives, Eminem, Avenged Sevenfold, ATM, Emery, Atreyu, Gogol Bodello, Incubus, just to name a few bands of the top of my head.

I watch Doctor Who, Firefly, and stupid shit like that. I fucking LOVE Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad (bittersweet that it's over), True Blood, Supernatural, Hemlock Grove, Parks and Rec, and American Horror Story.

I like all the movies.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I don't really hold on to material objects, but here are a few things I would literally be lost without:
Love
Hope
Learning
The cosmic energy of the universe
Curiosity, for without it, what use has imagination??
My hands
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I'm always thinking about something. Usually it's how people closest to me will die. Why Christians believe in karma and astrological signs. I mean really. Do they not realize that's paganism?? Dumb fucks. Or how to make myself sterile without cutting or smashing my testicles. Reincarnation. Energy. Then cute stuff. Like puppies. And kitties. And puppies and kitties. Then a dragon comes and burns them to ashes.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MEAN WHEN A WOMAN SAYS SHE'S QUEER? FUCK THE GENDER RULES ARE SO DIFFICULT TO LEARN. IS THERE A BOOK OR SOME GUIDELINES POSTED IN A BAR SOMEWHERE?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
THE SAME THING I DO EVERY NIGHT PINKY
Spending time with friends or family. Going to see a movie. Drinking. Smoking. Partying. Shenanigans. Usually masturbating until I black out.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Jacket
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Go fuck yourself