Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Are you single?
Looking for someone cool?
Do you like nachos?
Well have we got a date for you!!
Meet SMOOTHIE(tm), the all-purpose, all-around girl you've been
looking for! SMOOTHIE(tm) has been imperfectly formulated to
satisfy, appealing to ladies of all walks of life! Made of quality
female materials, SMOOTHIE(tm) is easy to use, but not THAT kind of
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
SMOOTHIE(tm) works fast, getting rid of tough stains and grease
without damaging fine fabrics leaving a fresh powder scent. But
this is no ordinary cleaner! SMOOTHIE(tm) is completely
VOICE-ACTIVATED! Other voice-activated operators are slow,
clunky... they just can't get the job done. But SMOOTHIE(tm)
handles even the biggest issue with ease, soaring above the
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Slicing, dicing, even julienne fries! SMOOTHIE(tm) is a wonder in
the kitchen! She boasts a large knowledge bank of recipes, and
Got a boring party? Not with SMOOTHIE(tm)! Turn on the magic with
SMOOTHIE(tm) and the entertainment never ends! Singing, dancing,
and some of the best worst jokes this side of the Internet!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Be the envy of your next friendly gathering, or just marvel at the
beauty and convenience of SMOOTHIE(tm) at home! She comes complete
with fashionable Mohawk and loads of accessories!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Have fun learning all about SMOOTHIE(tm) with the easy-to-follow
instruction manual, complete with simplified pictures!
Enjoy great shows like Tosh.0! Bar Rescue! And many animated
favorites for the kids!
Need to pump up the jams? SMOOTHIE(tm)'s musical selections will
PUMP YOU UP! The Killers, Two Door Cinema Club, Modest Mouse,
Mumford & Sons, Neon Trees, Atlas Genius, Bruno Mars, and many
more popular hits!
Hungry? No problem! Enjoy sushi, coffee, even delicious nachos!!
Many of which just the click of a button away!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
SMOOTHIE(tm) comes with everything you see here! Order now, and ask
about our FREE deluxe "Necessities" package! Package includes: cell
phone, assorted teas, luxury hand lotion, iPod (loaded with
SMOOTHIE(tm)'s best music selections!), stylish sneakers, and
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Be dazzled by the wide array of thought processes, over 20
tetrabites come standard right out of the box!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Savor that new SMOOTHIE(tm) smell fresh from the package, and enjoy
it for days in the comfort of your own home!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
There have been imitations, but only SMOOTHIE(tm) comes with a
custom-stamped seal of approval! The location is Top-Secret, so you
know you've got an original!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you're into laughs, lazy weekends, mutual respect and
appreciation, you've got to MESSAGE SOON! Operators are standing
by. Act now, and we'll double your offer! Just pay S&H.
SMOOTHIE(tm)- "Gets the job done!"
Who are you looking for?
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