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25 Austin, TX Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21-33
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Jan 24
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
5' 3" (1.60m)
Body Type
Average build
Atheism and laughing about it
Working on Post grad
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
English (Somewhat), French (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm Shannon.
I grew up in theatre, got a degree in it, and am now taking a break from it. I don't currently act, but I think it's important to note that theatre is a huge part of who I am and how I think and interact.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I spend my weekdays working at a preschool, being painted and chased by adorable, hilarious, witty lil rascals and I spend my weekends babysitting more rascals.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being awkward
Throwing Frisbee (kinda)
Mario Kart
Forgetting things (so don't be creeped out/flattered if I view your profile many times, I probably just don't remember a thing about you)
being inconsistent.
Pissing standing up. I had a picture for proof but OkCupid deemed it inappropriate and removed it. Too much hot ass for OkC to deal with, I guess.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I swear like a sailor and I wear a fanny pack. It's like a purse but it's attached to me so I can't lose it. I srsly don't understand whythefuck everyone doesn't wear one.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Arrested Development, Breaking Bad, United States of Tara, Fullmetal Alchemist, Mad Men, Bob's Burgers, Portlandia, Workaholics, The Mighty Boosh, Adventure Time, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Pokemon, Always Sunny, Wilfred, Battlestar Galactica, KOTH. I want to get into more anime.

Catcher in the Rye, all Harry Potters, Lolita, anything Chuck Palahniuk, The Road, Flowers for Algernon, Ender's Game. Currently reading: Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban (not for the first time, of course)

Finding Nemo, Pulp Fiction, Drop Dead Fred, Super Troopers, Cars, It's a Wonderful Life, Schindler's List, Monty Python Holy Grail, Frozen. Favourite movie genre: animated children's films

food: peanut butter. chocolate. some other stuff. and cucumber lime Gatorade. and milk, can't forget milk. I can't cook to save my life.

MUSIC: Ben Folds (Five), Regina Spektor, The Doors, Death Cab, deadmau5, Bright Eyes, The Shins, Okkervil River, Billy Joel, Calvin Harris, Childish Gambino, Blake Shelton, Kid Cudi, Kanye, Dawes, Florence, Journey, Elton John, Ben Kweller, Sufjan Stevens, Animal Collective, Milo Greene, Of Monsters and Men, Turnpike Troubadors
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
love (kisses are included)
a watch
fanny pack
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
what everyone else is thinking about.
Did anyone just notice me trip? Why is he staring at me? Does that old lady appreciate that 2 for 1 sale as much as I do? Does that girl hate eating that pasta as much as her face says she does? Did she see me staring at her as she eats? aaaawkwaaaaard aardvark.
my social anxiety tends to get the better of me at times.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably playing with Algernon aka the world's coolest rat and best lil buddy, asleep, or dancing my face off to 80's music.
Update: Algernon passed away 7/16/14. He lived a long and hopefully fun and fulfilling life for a rat. He was the best furry friend i could ask for. I miss him so very much.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I pee in the shower and I drool in my sleep.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
if you are a Ben Folds (/Five) fan then feel free to message me anything about that.

you don't litter. it's rude.

you can teach me harmonica, French, or baseball.

you are quirky, nerdy, unconventional, awkward, clumsy, confused, eccentric, or flawed.

you smell like vanilla.

**YOU ARE FEMALE. I'm sorry fellas but I'm tired of being messaged by men. I'm looking for lady friends and you're looking for a place to stick it in. You're barking up the wrong tree, don't waste your time, bro.