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smullarkey

24 F Austin, TX

My Details

Last Online
Today – 5:57pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces, and it matters a lot
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Education
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Likes cats
Speaks
English (Okay), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm Shannon. I have a rat and a rattail.
I grew up in theatre, got a degree in it, and am now taking a break from it. I don't currently act, but I think it's important to note that theatre is a huge part of who I am and how I think and interact.
What I’m doing with my life
I spend my weekdays working at a preschool, being painted and chased by adorable, hilarious, witty lil rascals. I spend my weekends at my second job, which is not so adorable. And my evenings vary from Pokemon on Netflix to billiards and dancing, sometimes simultaneously.
I’m really good at
Twister
Whining
Birthdays
Kisses
Being awkward
Throwing Frisbee (kinda)
Mario Kart
Forgetting things (so don't be creeped out/flattered if I view your profile many times, I probably just don't remember a thing about you)
being inconsistent.
Pissing standing up. I had a picture for proof but OkCupid deemed it inappropriate and removed it. Too much hot ass for OkC to deal with, I guess.
The first things people usually notice about me
I swear like a sailor and I wear a fanny pack. It's like a purse but it's attached to me so I can't lose it. I srsly don't understand whythefuck everyone doesn't wear one.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Arrested Development, Breaking Bad, United States of Tara, Fullmetal Alchemist, Mad Men, Bob's Burgers, Portlandia, Workaholics, The Mighty Boosh, Adventure Time, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Pokemon, Always Sunny, Wilfred, Battlestar Galactica, KOTH. I want to get into more anime.

Catcher in the Rye, all Harry Potters, Lolita, anything Chuck Palahniuk, The Road, Flowers for Algernon, Ender's Game. Currently reading: Game of Thrones.

Finding Nemo, Pulp Fiction, Drop Dead Fred, Super Troopers, Cars, It's a Wonderful Life, Schindler's List, Monty Python Holy Grail. Favourite movie genre: animated children's films

food: peanut butter. chocolate. some other stuff. and cucumber lime Gatorade. and milk, can't forget milk. I can't cook to save my life.

MUSIC: Ben Folds (Five), Regina Spektor, The Doors, Death Cab, deadmau5, Bright Eyes, The Shins, Okkervil River, Billy Joel, Calvin Harris, Childish Gambino, Blake Shelton, Kid Cudi, Kanye, Dawes, Florence, Journey, Elton John, Ben Kweller, Sufjan Stevens, Animal Collective, Milo Greene, Of Monsters and Men
The six things I could never do without
milk
love (kisses are included)
a watch
fanny pack
colour
music
I spend a lot of time thinking about
what everyone else is thinking about.
Did anyone just notice me trip? Why is he staring at me? Does that old lady appreciate that 2 for 1 sale as much as I do? Does that girl hate eating that pasta as much as her face says she does? Did she see me staring at her as she eats? aaaawkwaaaaard aardvark.
my social anxiety tends to get the better of me at times.
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably playing with Algernon aka the world's coolest rat and best lil buddy, asleep, or dancing my face off to 80's music.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I pee in the shower and I drool in my sleep.
I’m looking for
  • Gay girls only
  • Ages 21–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, short-term dating
You should message me if
if you are a Ben Folds (/Five) fan then feel free to message me anything about that.

you don't litter. it's rude.

you can teach me harmonica, French, or baseball.

you would like me to help teach you how to swim.

you are quirky, nerdy, unconventional, awkward, clumsy, confused, eccentric, or flawed.

you smell like vanilla.

**YOU ARE FEMALE. I'm sorry fellas but I'm tired of being messaged by men. I'm looking for lady friends and you're looking for a place to stick it in. You're barking up the wrong tree, don't waste your time, bro.