He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much
he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed
her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher
said, 'Dust to dust,' some people laughed, and the cowboy shot
them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you
in heaven---with a gun." - Jack Handy (If you think this is funny I
will probably like you)
I've got chills. They're multiplying.
What I’m doing with my life
I work as a surgical nurse so I have lots of stories that will make you throw up. Don't try and gross me out. You will lose. Now that Im in my dirty 30's I'm coming to terms with my mortality and started making a bucket list and eating more kale which could be any amount since I ate zero amount of kale before now. My bucket list is still a work in progress. To name a couple a) get the lead in a musical (it doesn't matter how good it is as long as I get to do flying knee thrusts with arms spread wide and some crouched down finger snapping) b) I want to tell someone "Im going to make sure you never work in this town again" and have the power and authority to back it up. I know its short so if you have any suggestions to add to the list please feel free to share.
Outside of work and bucket list planning I like to surf, fly fish, play musical instruments, snowboard/ski, ride bikes, go to shows, etc. I'm a fairly easy person to please and it doesn't take much to make me happy. My friends call me the "Yes Man" because I'm pretty much down to do anything at a moments notice. I mean ANYTHING. I have a funny colonic story that I wont share due its graphic nature.
I’m really good at
Remembering useless details about obscure 80's TV shows.
The first things people usually notice about me
My hook for a hand.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
david sedaris gets me
goonies, field of dreams, wes anderson flicks, point break, the burbs, lost boys
deadwood, its always sunny, arrested development, game of thrones, recently I've been digging american horror story
sufjan stevens, pedro the lion, the books, joanna newsom, simon and garfunkel, magnetic fields, great lake swimmers, old hymns, jawbreaker, bjork, beach boys, digable planets, anything old country: Buck, Merle, Waylon, Willie
sushi (especially when it floats around on a boat and pulls up right in front of me at the bar), thai, indian, confetti cake, regular cake, and Backpackers Pantry
The six things I could never do without
a tie between big pouch capri suns and rye whiskey
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Hunting down the bear that killed my dad.
On a typical Friday night I am
I recently discovered Goth Night Fridays at Cat Club. I'll most
likely be there every Friday from now on. I'll be the one who
doesn't look like they're going to kill themselves.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
One of my biggest pet peeves is little kids wearing sunglasses.
Double annoying if they are relaxing by a pool with their hands
behind their head while wearing sunglasses. I mean, really, give me
one good reason why a kid should be relaxing.
Also, I have three older sisters and they thought it was funny to
dress me up like a girl on a regular basis. Now I have 8 nephews.
You should message me if
You know whats good for ya.
You want a surfing buddy.