Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


26 M Cincinnati, OH

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:55pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of space camp
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs and has cats
English, Afrikaans (Poorly), German (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
I work, I play video games, I love learning, my dog is my best friend, I build my computers, I occasionally smoke weed and drink booze, and I am a romantic, grossly sensitive and honest man.

I am a friendly misanthrope and I am looking for a kick-ass woman to befriend and possibly fall in love with. Or a harem full of beautiful men and woman who want to make sweet, passionate, kinky love with me. You all can be the bread winners in this cult-like, fantasy kingdom; I'm busy being a hedonist.

I put bisexual on my profile but I'm not that black and white so I'll just say I'm queer and prefer women or couples (mf or ff). Basically, idgaf who messages me if you're cool and have some common interests.
What I’m doing with my life
Eating waffles and masturbating on camera for money but never simultaneously.

Working a real, part-time job at home.

Wanting to be a drifter.

Moving to Cinci soon. I live in LIMA, OHIO currently. My friends, soon to be roomies, are moving to Cincinnati.

Making vaginas quiver and dicks grow via talking about my personal issues. Depression, anxiety, and pain disorders are obviously turn ons.
I’m really good at
Crying myself to sleep. It's ok though; my tears are magical.
Using the microwave oven.
Being a loyal and honest friend.
The first things people usually notice about me
When I'm not worshipping our lord and savior, Meth Satan, I bathe in the light of the grand sun and often reflect this sunshine into peoples faces and blind them on accident.

Tall, pale, and handsome. I mean, my eyes are pretty legit.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Audiobooks ftw. I love reading but I think I have ADD. I read like 10-25% of a book and move on to something new. It's been awhile since I've actually finished a book from cover to cover. I've never read any book more than once either, except for "Watchers" by Dean Koontz.

Song of ice and fire!
American Gods
Hitchiker's Guide
Millenium Trilogy
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
Psychology stuff. I'm going to order the DSM to read it for fun.

TV: Too much
I have a lot of TV favorites. I like to discuss them!

Tool, Die Antwoord, Iamx, Fiona Apple, Massive Attack. Whatever feeds my soul,
electronica to classical.

Movies: City of God, Blade Runner, Kill Bill, Samsara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and Silver Linings Playbook come to mind. Tarintino, Scorsese, Lynch, and Arronofsky are great. I can't spell their names either.

Food: diabetes and heart disease (fast food), bananas, apples, fruit smoothies, tempura chicken, pizza, bread, sushi.
The six things I could never do without's_hierarchy_of_needs
A companion animal.
The Internet.
The blood of my enemies.
NSAIDS; I'm actually a 64 year old man with bad arthritis and weak joints.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Life, the universe, and everything.


Why do people hate when they can love?

Patriarchy, sexism, misogyny, misandry, racism, phobias (xeno, trans, homo, etc), mental disorders, sex, gayness, war, polyamory, digital surveillance, privacy, video games, computer tech, easily offended white social justice warriors, porn, the macabre.

I think I covered everything in the first sentence of this section.
On a typical Friday night I am
Sitting down to pee.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–40
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You are an open-minded, free thinking, and curious individual.

You need someone to listen/are lonely. Also, mental illnesses don't scare me. Let's talk about them.

You don't have STDs or chronic addiction problems. I mean, you can still message me, I'm not that big of an asshole..

You want an exercise partner and live close by.

You want to make babies with me and will provide the necessary funds for my valuable seed and you want full custody of our immaculate offspring. Loljk, that baby is gonna be wack. You can totally buy my sperm though. Sell it on the black market or eat it to absorb it's youth. Dumplings come to mind.

Contact me if you are interested in my three for one bdsm special. $100/hr for the first hour. You know who you are.