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26 M Cincinnati, OH

My Details

Last Online
Today – 11:51am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of space camp
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs and has cats
English, Afrikaans (Poorly), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I work, I play video games, I love learning, my dog is my best friend, I build my computers, I occasionally smoke weed and drink booze, and I am a romantic, grossly sensitive and honest man.

I am a friendly misanthrope and I am looking for a kick-ass woman to befriend and possibly fall in love with. Or a harem full of beautiful men and woman who want to make sweet, passionate, kinky love with me. You all can be the bread winners in this cult-like, fantasy kingdom; I'm busy being a hedonist.

I put bisexual on my profile but I'm not that black and white so I'll just say I'm queer and prefer women or couples (mf or ff). Basically, idgaf who messages me if you're cool and have some common interests.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Eating waffles and masturbating on camera for money but never simultaneously.

Working a real, part-time job at home.

Wanting to be a drifter.

Having a quarter-life crisis. Oh, gods, help meeee!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Crying myself to sleep. It's ok though; my tears are magical.
Using the microwave oven.
Being a loyal and honest friend.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I'm not worshipping our lord and savior, Meth Satan, I bathe in the light of the grand sun and often reflect this sunshine into peoples faces and blind them on accident.

Tall, pale, and handsome. I mean, my eyes are pretty legit.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Audiobooks ftw. I love reading but I think I have ADD. I read like 10-25% of a book and move on to something new. It's been awhile since I've actually finished a book from cover to cover. I've never read any book more than once either, except for "Watchers" by Dean Koontz.

Song of ice and fire!
American Gods
Hitchiker's Guide
Millenium Trilogy
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
Psychology stuff. I'm going to order the DSM to read it for fun.

TV: Too much
I have a lot of TV favorites. I like to discuss them!

Tool, Die Antwoord, Iamx, Fiona Apple, Massive Attack, Katzenjammer, The Faint, Tesla Boy, The Black Keys, Depeche Mode. Whatever feeds my soul,
electronica to classical.

Movies: City of God, Blade Runner, Kill Bill, Samsara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Under the Skin, and Silver Linings Playbook come to mind. Tarintino, Scorsese, Lynch, Kubrick, and Arronofsky are great. I can't spell their names either.

Food: diabetes and heart disease (fast food), bananas, apples, fruit smoothies, tempura chicken, pizza, bread, sushi.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.'s_hierarchy_of_needs
A companion animal.
The Internet.
The blood of my enemies.
NSAIDS; I'm actually a 64 year old man with bad arthritis and weak joints.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Life, the universe, and everything.


Why do people hate when they can love?

Patriarchy, sexism, misogyny, misandry, racism, phobias (xeno, trans, homo, etc), mental disorders, sex, gayness, war, polyamory, digital surveillance, privacy, video games, computer tech, easily offended white social justice warriors, porn, the macabre.

I think I covered everything in the first sentence of this section.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sitting down to pee.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've never been drunk.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are an open-minded, free thinking, and curious individual.

You want to cuddle. Of course, I will ultimately be using you and your mattress for a place to sleep. I currently lack one since my move on August 2nd.

You need someone to listen/are lonely. Also, mental illnesses don't scare me. Let's talk about them.

You don't have STDs or chronic addiction problems. I mean, you can still message me, I'm not that big of an asshole..

You want an exercise partner and live close by.

You want to make babies with me and will provide the necessary funds for my valuable seed and you want full custody of our immaculate offspring. Loljk, that baby is gonna be wack. You can totally buy my sperm though. Sell it on the black market or eat it to absorb it's youth. Dumplings come to mind.

Contact me if you are interested in my three for one bdsm special. $100/hr for the first hour. You know who you are.