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26 Cincinnati, OH Man


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 23–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Today – 1:31am
6′ 1″ (1.86m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of space camp
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Okay), Afrikaans (Poorly), German (Poorly), Portuguese (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I work, I play video games, I love learning, my dog is my best friend, I build my computers, I occasionally smoke weed and drink booze, and I am a romantic, weird, grossly sensitive, and honest man.

I am a friendly misanthrope and I am looking for a kick-ass woman to befriend and possibly fall in love with. I also want a harem full of beautiful, consenting men and women. We would have passionate and kinky sex on a daily basis. Don't ruin my dream.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I moved to Cincinnati recently so I'm still settling in.

Eating waffles and masturbating on camera for money but never simultaneously.

Working a real, part-time job at home.

Wanting to be a drifter.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Crying myself to sleep.
Using the microwave oven.
I was going to put "eating" but then I realized I am bad at that.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I'm not worshipping our lord and savior, Meth Satan, I bathe in the light of the Grand Sun and often reflect this sunshine into peoples faces and blind them on accident.

Seriously though, my hair, eyes, septum piercing, or my ultra-pale skin. Or that I am a good listener except I have bad hearing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Just bought my first comic/graphic novel. Issues 1-10 of the Fables series. Love the video game "The Wolf Among Us" and had to get more!

Audiobooks ftw. I love reading but I think I have ADD. I read like 10-25% of a book and move on to something new. It's been awhile since I've actually finished a book from cover to cover. I've never read any book more than once either, except for "Watchers" by Dean Koontz.

Song of ice and fire!
American Gods
Hitchiker's Guide
Millenium Trilogy
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
Psychology stuff.

TV: Too much
I have a lot of TV favorites. I like to discuss them!


Tool, Die Antwoord, Iamx, Fiona Apple, Massive Attack, Katzenjammer, The Faint, Tesla Boy, The Black Keys, Depeche Mode. Whatever feeds my soul,
electronica to classical.

Movies: City of God, Blade Runner, Kill Bill, Samsara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Under the Skin, and Silver Linings Playbook come to mind. Tarintino, Scorsese, Lynch, Kubrick, and Arronofsky are great. I can't spell their names either.

Food: diabetes and heart disease (fast food), bananas, apples, fruit smoothies, tempura chicken, pizza, bread, sushi.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.'s_hierarchy_of_needs
A companion animal.
The Internet.
The blood of my enemies.
NSAIDS; I'm actually a 64 year old man with bad arthritis and weak joints. (I actually have chronic back pain)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Life, the universe, and everything.

Am I a lesbian?

Reed Lancaster's mom. She's a total babe. You don't know her.

Mental disorders/psychology, patriarchy, sexism, misogyny, misandry, racism, my doge, former loverzzz, phobias (xeno, trans, homo, etc) sex, gayness, war, love, words, vaginas, penises, dystopian futures, what it'd be like to be rich as fuck (awesome), drugs, fiction, space, future tech, biology, anatomy, evolution, family, polyamory, digital surveillance, privacy, video games, computer tech, easily offended white social justice warriors, porn, the macabre, life, the universe, and everything.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sitting down to pee.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My lumbar/sacral veterbrae are fused together with metal. This was the first step in becoming a bionic man. Soon. Jk, i have spinal stenosis. Yay!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are an open-minded, free thinking, and curious individual.

You want to make babies with me and will provide the necessary funds for my valuable seed and you want full custody of our immaculate offspring. Loljk, that baby is gonna be wack. You can totally buy my sperm though. Sell it on the black market or eat it to absorb its youth. Dumplings come to mind.

Contact me if you are interested in my three for one bdsm special. $100/hr for the first hour. You know who you are.