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snarkybastard9

40 Chicago, IL Man

Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 30–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Status
Single
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
it's true - i'm kind of a snarky bastard. i lived in south korea for 3 years, which was swell. lived in los angeles for the decade prior to that - it's a sunny place for shady people
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
putting a bird on it
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
attracting odd people on okcupid, apparently

refusing to sleep with women who wear ugg boots. or listen to mumford & sons

taking 'which sex and the city character are you' quizzes (i am SUCH a samantha)

not needing google to beat you at jeopardy

chess / crosswords / scrabble - the nerd trifecta
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
you mean BESIDES the whole devastatingly handsome thing?? then i guess probably my resting bitch face
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
music:
lily allen, tegan & sara, half japanese, sia, lorde, garbage, brian jonestown massacre, jack white, radiohead, ween, talking heads, david bowie, depeche mode, eminem, st. vincent, fiona apple & many other hysterical waifs

tv:
the colbert/daily show/bill maher triumvirate, transparent, broad city, vice, masters of sex, better call saul, forensic files, charlie rose, frontline & anything involving NASA. oh - or DINOSAURS!

movies:
all things kubrick, woody allen, the andersons - wes & pt, darren aronofsky, danny boyle, christopher guest, david fincher, 'amelie' & anything qualifying as a documentary

words:
almost exlusively non-fiction. i subscribe to vanity fair, have giant mancrushes on christopher hitchens & neil degrasse tyson and can mount a solid argument the 'autobiography of malcolm x' is the greatest book ever written

food:
i've eaten spiders in cambodia, but wouldn't eat a chicken mcnugget with a rifle to my head
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
coffee. strong & black - like my men

diphenhydramine

my passport

music/internet/assorted apple devices

fun facts: the word 'vagina' comes from the latin meaning 'sword holder'
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
why anyone with a vagina would consider voting republican

why 87% of women on okcupid identify as 'bacon-enthusiasts'

why comedy central would completely shit the bed by letting colbert, stewart AND john oliver go, while hiring larry wilmore & trevor noah. who are mediocre at best. with the fucking wind at their backs

if the symptoms for 'religious' & 'schizophrenic' are exactly the same, then . . .
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
dancing around in my underwear to sia's 'chandelier'

why - what are YOU doing??
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
when people start chanting 'u.s.a! u.s.a!' - i'm so embarrassed i pretend i'm canadian
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you are smart, funny & the right amount of the right kind of crazy

you are not religious - nor will you be afflicted with it in the future

you got the memo about the world not needing any more children

you are elizabeth warren. seriously, liz - hit me up