Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

snatchcraft

29 F Anaheim, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Overweight
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from space camp
Job
Management
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Ancient Greek (Okay), Afrikaans (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"When a man speaks of his strengths, he whispers of his weaknesses"- Ernest Hemingway
I have no strengths. I posses anxiety ridden, extremely immature attributes, while being as complicated as a pop song.
A relapsing goth that often feels that societies jurisdictions cramp my fuckin' style and personality from true greatness and malevolence. A proud, strong black woman trapped in a whities body. Hatched and raised in California.
I make the shark from "Jaws", look like fuckin' Flipper.
I'm fucking delightful.
This is me being humble, enjoy a slice.

My mom just died, so if you can commiserate on just how truly shitty things can be then that would be appreciated.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Life in the faust lane.
Suffering annual mid-life crisies. Verbally abusing Siri(dumb bitch).
Volunteering at pediatric cancer events and battered woman's shelters(I'm the bitch with the snatch of gold). Occasionally merch slinging( talk about lowered expectations), and now I sling kale and non GMO foods(well, for the most part).
Letting you know that some day, you will ache like I ache.
Making astute observations upon inner reflections. Always knowing sex never goes out of fashion.
I've seen it all before, and it doesn't make you any less lonely.
So fucking over it.
Looking for my ideal punk rock/edgy guy. The kind who doesn't give a shit but is still a gentleman and sweetheart.
Climbing monoliths and causing hysteria.
Drinking champagne to forget everything. I cherish all my misery.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Having worse habits than you. Filling these things out. Turning money into boxed wine. Slaying dragons. Being Mass Effective. Douche spotting. Crotch gazing. I've been told I give the most amazing head ever experienced( here's a hint as to why, flavored lube and no gag reflex). Making eye contact. Reading body language in braille. Becoming friends with confusion. Observing. Candor. Commiserating. Being extra sexual and intellectual. Commiserating. Re-stating the obvious. I don't start fights, I make explosions. Scheme hatchery. 500 days of summarizing. Getting fucked over.....and over and over and over again.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If ever you see skin as fair, or eyes as deep and as black as mine,
I'll know you're lying.
How about the first thing I notice about people? I find when girls say they're "drama free, and down to earth", they are usually the exact opposite, and just as generic and bland as they pretend not to be. I've also noticed that many people on here describe themselves as "humorous" and "sarcastic", yet never display those traits on their profile(you can insert the above Hemingway quote here for a good time). I believe sarcasm and humor have to be perceived/experienced, not told. Oh, and everyone seems to be going on hikes all of a sudden.
If I speak in Cookie Monster, that usually turns some heads. I'm usually riding high on a deep depression.
The tail of the snake is it's teeth tonight.
Shitty wit.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Fiona Apple covers.Hanna and Marie Antionette OST. PJ Harvey. Eagles of Death Metal. Rasputina.The Kills. Siouxsie and the Banshees. Sonic Youth. Garbage.Blondie. Talking Heads(no talking, just head). Hooked on comic books(currently reading Original Sin). Cate Blanchett should have 8 Oscars by now.The Munsters. Game of Thrones( "Power is power". How great was that fucking scene?). Paris is Burning. Mad Men. Breaking Bad....ass! The chick from Precious needs to be put down(Michael Bay and Brett Ratner should do so right after). I own the complete Star Wars(a fan of Episodes 1-3 and not ironically), Harry Potter, and LOTR(extended edition, bitches. I've watched/listened to the director/ producer and the cast commentary and loved it all) on Blu~Ray(I'm just a tourist).Spinal Tap. Gosford Park. Batman Returns. Best in Show. Midnight in Paris. Hocus Pocus. Smiley Face .The last 5 minutes of Closer. South Park. Archer. Futurama(duh). Dinosaurs(btw, it's been added on Netflix instant. You can thank me, much as a cat would, by placing a dead rodent or lizard in my shoe). Squidbillies! I re-watch the 90's X-Men and Spider-Man animated shows annually. ALF. I still consider "Lunchables" to be fine dining(fining?), and a treat. Lasagna. Zankou Chicken(y'all Armenian/Lebanese know what I'm writin' about). Dark chocolate(darker the better, but not dark enough to make Kim Kardashian jealous. Chocolate covered coffee beans and gummy bears.
I'm not easily star struck, but I think the Crypt Keeper would definitely do so.
Tree House of Horrors always put me in a good fuckin' mood!
Currently playing: Deadpool on PS3.
Currently reading: Old Man Logan.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A great sleep(night or day).
Ps3(I fucking love it!Well, until I get the PS4)
Dr. Pepper.
Marvel Unlimited Comic subscription.
The color RED (nail polish, lipstick, hair-dye,blood).
The finest of parfums.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I'm boy crazy! I love 'em(if only the feelings were mutual). Seems like all the one's I dig tend to be the ones that are super sought after on this site and snatched up by other snatchs. I like rat looking dudes. Big noses. Big feet. Big hands. I like guys with certain styles. A lil edge is hot(measured in kelvin), but not to the point where it defines them. A "True nerd"(almost sounds like a bad HBO show) types always stake my heart. I don't care for those who dress preppy or "GQ"(it really does bore the shit out me). I'm a sucker for dopey, lanky, gawky dudes with goofy smiles and messy hair who could be related to Shaggy(of Scooby Doo fame, not Mr.Boombastic). A guy in white socks and gym shorts is visual Viagra (that's copy written, so don't copy me)to me. Don't be shy if you're too skinny, because I love it. Skinny boys, you are beautiful.
Keep fishin'.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
It's who you know.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Size queen of the nether regions(that means I'm a fan of big..... but seriously, I prefer girth, yu know, GIRTH. Know what girth means, or better yet, anyone have that girth??).

I believe 9 times out of 10, a penis resembles a guy's thumb I also find guys with Polish heritage seem to be WELL endowed(or maybe I just got to date the lucky few).

I'm a hopeless romantic( nah, I'm just hopeless).
People remember kisses more than orgasms. I like being kissed and kissing....hard(just like my cuddles).
I've choked guys during sex, and it was hot. I'm slightly rough during hot n' heavy make out sessions. I love when I feel my partner get really into it when he feels my nails down his back. I like when he sits on my lap facing me. I enjoy deep throating guys who have never been deep throated before and virgins!I guess I just enjoy feeling passion during intimacy.

I think you have a real connection with someone when you can just lay down with them and cuddle(any variety of positions) and not even have to speak/type a word to each other. A comfortable silence. Slight communication done through unison rhythmic breathing and heart beat patterns. Even though nothing is being said, it's saying everything.

I'm self deprecating at times, and just feel that I'm dumber than dog shit, with nothing to offer. And Everything sucks(Thank you, The Descendants). I want to get so fucked up on rx's that could easily play out a certain scene from a certain movie I could mention but would be breaking the first rule of by type about it. How's that for UN-abiding honesty?

I've dated Ryan Gosling, and broke it off with him before he got too attached.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 18–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're my punk rock boy.
You want me to be your only luxury item.
You want someone to miss.
You know L.L Cool J is short for LOL LOL CoooooL Jaaay.
You're a night person or a bat( and you thought your jokes were bad). You're tired of being a Jon without his Garfield. My idea of a great time is going to see a movie while holding hands and feeling totally content while kissing , more and more often, until you just decide to Wikipedia the ending of the movie. Taking a walk at 3a.m. sounds like a great first date. I think a walk in the fog would be amazing.
You enjoy relaxing foot massages and your belly rubbed. Staying glued to the couch is your idea of a good time, 'cus I hate the public. Setting make out marathon record. Breaking previously set marathon records. You're tired of being lonely.
You seriously don't give a shit about what people think about you.Seriously. You know what an auteur is, and what dutch angles are.
If you aren't too cool. I just really don't deal well with cool dudes, I tend to get frostbite. You like being small spoon. You like hearing sweet Cookie Monster impressions. You love the idea of love but find it hard to actually into, making things much more complicated and interesting.
You know we could never have it all.
You ever wanted your ex to sigh, never in tune, just sigh.

Aim me if ya want sentimentaljunki

Disclaimer: I really am a BBW. It takes a man who can march to the beat of a different drum to actually embrace this outside of the bedroom at least.

I could be your fat Kate Moss tonight.