I am a 74-year-old arsonist from Düsseldorf. Embroiled from birth in a decades long international custody battle, my childhood was spent being shuttled back and forth between Karakorum, where my great-aunt worked as personal assistant to the prima ballerina of the Mongolian ballet, and my father's secure underground compound in Napa Valley, where I and my seven half-siblings toiled away at a doomsday device in hopes of bringing about the glorious resurrection of the lobster-god Quethulius sometime in 2007--boy, was Pop ever disappointed!
It was in Karakorum that I developed my life-long passion for the kazoo, for which I was eventually accepted to Julliard in 1953. I found big city life too much for me--that was when I met my beloved Hans (may he find rest in the arthropodic embrace of Quethulius's claws). Our journeys behind the iron curtain are still forbidden under US Statute 2047z3, but rest assured, they were spicy.
My favorite novel is Atlas Shrugged, and as its genius is clearly so staggering as to render all other literature superfluous, it remains the *only* novel I have ever read. I am, however, extremely active in the WoW fanfiction community.
Hobbies include Pelicans, quantum entanglement, and coating ordinary household items in unusually flavored custards. This last I consider to be my true vocation, and am planning an exhibition to debut sometime in 2017.