Though my work still matters to me, it is no longer the singular pivot of my life. I still like undertaking projects—like writing books, designing classes, remodeling bathrooms and kitchens and fireplaces, building web sites. But work and play have never really been mutually exclusive for me, cause there is always playfulness in new ideas, in inner and social discovery. But now, with the right companion I am ready to again travel.
I have seen a number of folks refer to their Myers-Briggs “personality” types, so for kicks I took it. My outcome was INFP (introverted, 64% to extraverted 36%; intuitive 64% to sensing 36%; feeling 60% to thinking 40%; and perceiving 55% to judging 45%). I am not entirely convinced by this, especially the feeling over thinking part—maybe, but I tend to think of myself as sometimes a little over-analytic. And the perceiving/judging dichotomy is so close...well it is a flawed instrument.
I am looking for a relationship that combines something like a best friend with trusted emotional companion. In my experience, non-judgmental mutual trust is even more important than love, and tougher to come by. I am equally at home in deep intellectual conversations, mind play, and the trivia of everyday life. I am looking for a relationship where I can feel myself light up every time I hear her voice or see her face. Like everyone else, I yearn to again feel the combined bodily sensations and emotions that go with that—a little adrenaline jolt, one’s heart stirring a bit, a little buzz in your head, and a bounce in your step. Of course I want the chemistry, but I have come to realize that the bolt of lightning stuff doesn't just come from the sky, but like the patient tending of a garden must sometimes be nurtured through genuine listening...coming to know one another.
I am looking for someone with whom I can share humor, musical pleasures, dance, the arts, ideas, and an appreciation of good food—both consuming it and creating it. I am looking for a relationship in which we share and value each other’s tastes and pleasures, but we need not share all of our interests. There are some axes where similar tastes matter, but difference, and an appreciation of it, makes us richer and more interesting people. Moreover, I appreciate contradictions (well not the really gross ones, like bakes pies and is an axe-murderer), perhaps in part because it’s the little contradictions that define us—well they define me, and I suspect I am not so different from most others in this way.
While I am hoping to find a special relationship, I am also interested in using this site to meet potential friends, some of whom might become hiking buds, dining comrades, kayak partners, concert mates, or farmer’s market amigos. If I can’t find the perfect mate, then I will at least not have suffered in vain, but might count a few new friends.