sortanormal86
29 Metuchen, NJ
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sortanormal86
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My self-summary
I'm Dan. I like soccer. I go to the gym and lift heavy things. I'm from the NJ suburbs where my family had matching white Volvo station wagons and a golden retriever. That dog also had a sleeping pad with her name embroidered on it. So yeah, I consider myself a bad ass.

I know the difference between you're and your and there, their, and they're. Letters together make words. Words together make sentences. But I type fast and carelessly, so you'll have to suffer through.

My must haves are poor judgment and a pulse. And I'm sorry but I refuse to settle.

I have a golden retriever which means I cannot possibly be a bad person.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to be half the man Ron Swanson is.
I’m really good at
Crushing the NY Times Sunday Crossword.
Being so awkward it's almost endearing.
The first things people usually notice about me
How white I am.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Lolita, Slaughterhouse-Five, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Idiot, and that book you love.
Arrested Development is the best. Curb Your Enthusiasm, 30 rock, Strangers with Candy, and Louie.
Eddie Izzard
The six things I could never do without
1. Dogs
2. History Channel
3. Adam Carolla Podcast
4. Crossword Puzzles
5. That feeling I get when a black guy calls me "brotha." So cool. Happened once.
6. The blessed baby Mary
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How are Buick and Radioshack still in business?
On a typical Friday night I am
Low cal froyo with my gal pals. Spreading gossip and complaining about what pigs men are. Ya know, typical guy stuff.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Sometimes I don't check myself and in the end I wreck myself.

Sometimes I take my hands and gently press up my dogs face so his head looked like a mass of wrinkly fur. Then I'd say something like, "whoosh a smushy face? You are!" in a ridiculous and immature manner. It makes us both happy.

I use commas recklessly. I'm a rebel and a maverick.
You should message me if
You're willing to lie about how we met later on.
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