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35 • Astoria, NY • Woman
I’m looking for
- Ages 29–45
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends, short-term dating
- Last online
- Today – 2:24am
- 5′ 2″ (1.57m)
- Body type
- Agnosticism, and laughing about it
- Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
- Graduated from university
- Mostly non-monogamous
- Doesn’t have kids
- Likes dogs and likes cats
I will easily be the least complicated girl you'll ever meet.
People say I'm funny. I say I'm alright, but I do like trying to make people laugh and occasionally that works out for me. More than being funny I'm observant and a talented thief, I take a line here and an idea there and twist it into something resembling comedy.
I'm kidding, she's happy with me and my life choices.
I grew up in a small North Carolina town where the only culture was agriculture (see-I'm pretty sure I stole that one) but I turned out okay. I'm here, aren't I? And I've made it three years, I pretty much love it, so I think I'll stay.
Now I rotate between work and friends and boys (or girls) and comedy. I'm looking for any fun new adventure I can find.
I can drink you under the table.
Softening the blow. Coming from the south makes me a professional sugar-coater. ;)
My hair, I have big hair
TV - Buffy is my all time favorite. Now when I'm bored I stream Bob's Burgers or Portlandia or Parks & Rec.
Movies - Quentin Tarantino films, True Romance is amongst my most favorite movies (he wrote it). Guardians of the Galaxy was really great...but Marvel has the recipe, it's like they don't know how to make a bad movie any more.
Music - John Mayer, Dave Matthews, Bob Marley, Ray LaMontagne, Sublime, Adam Hood, Regina Spektor, James Taylor, Mumford & Sons, The Allman Brothers, Bill Withers, Blind Melon, Weezer, Train, Tom Petty, The Foo Fighters.
Food - I'll pretty much try anything but olives. They're simply horrible...yes, green and black and all the fancy ones too. They're just gross. I can't be convinced otherwise.
Actually I spend a lot of time thinking about the influence of the media and the entertainment industry on how we think, how we feel, and what we want.
**I did mean that Zombie apocalypse part sarcastically (in case you didn't get that), but in the very brief period that I have contemplated it because the entertainment industry twists my arm I do NOT understand why anyone wants to survive it. It looks like it would just SUCK. So I, for one, would like to be the first to go and then while you are all hungry and dirty and struggling to survive without all the luxuries that I have become quite accustomed to, I'll be a happy zombie just enjoying my brain buffet.
I'm kidding (mostly kidding). Here is a list of six memorable Friday nights:
1. Ping pong challenge (sans beer) with Brother and his Girlfriend
2. Strip club with my two favorite lesbians
3. Board games and drinking
4. One of the best first dates of my life which ended in some brown chicken, brown cow ;)
5. At a club called "The Rebel" in North Carolina (and yes, it's just that classy) getting drunk in ways I can't completely remember...but I swear I did not sing and I did not flash that biker named "Porkchop"
6. In Jamaica relaxing, listening to the ocean, loving my life.
So really your guess is as good as mine about next Friday...
Also I use emoticons and I'm completely ashamed of that. Update note: I have just succumb to emojis-I apologize in advance.
1. Have a beard. I like 'em. Obviously not a requirement but I do have a weakness for facial hair. (Lady applicants should NOT have a beard-there is less leniency here.)
2. Have a sense of comedy. Making me laugh will get you everywhere.
3. Have more to say than "hey". It's easy! Read my profile...mention anything in it.
4. Have a high match percentage with me, it matters more than you think, something 80 or above makes me pay attention.
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