MEN, a reply for the
females to read!
Since she (?) told the guys how to
behave on the first date, this is for the
She wrote----1. Don't show up in jeans and sneakers.
No, not even your "good ones". Unless
your first date is a sporting event or
picnic, or such, please dress nicely. Not
saying suit and tie, but please don't
look like you should be home watching
the game on TV with your buddies. I
will show up looking cute. Don't make
me feel like I wasted my time (and
My reply - girls, have your hair
combed. Don't show up looking like
your head was stuck in the blender.
Wear clothes that actually fit you. Don't
look like 10 pounds of potatoes in a 5
pound bag. And, if your boobs are
really sagging down to your knees,
please wear a bra! Keep the make- up
simple. Don't try go cover up the face
wrinkles with calk from Home Depot.
She wrote ---2. Don't expect me to pay for my own
whatever. Once, I met a guy for tea and
he didn't even offer to pay for that!
When the cashier rang us up together,
he quickly said, "It's separate."
Embarrassing. I mean, it's tea. If you
can't afford a cup of tea, you shouldn't
be dating. I immediately started
wondering how long I was obligated to
stay before I could leave without being
My reply - we will pay for your
whatever, just don't overdo it... And
don't order food or drinks to take home
for later, or food or drinks to take home
to your child. If the first date is in a
restaurant, don't order the entire page
2 of the menu. Many females meet guys
at restaurants to fill their fat belly, and
nothing else. They are not interested in
a relationship with the guy, only a
relationship with his wallet.
She wrote ---3. Don't use a picture that does not
really look like you in person. This
year. Today. Oh, how it sucks to find
out that what he sent you was that one
glamour shot with the lighting just
right, etc. In fact, I now insist on
several pics, instant selfies, and full-lengths*. I recently had a date show up
whom I would not have recognized had
I not planned on meeting someone at
that specific time and place. (Still
thought it might not have been him, but
sadly, it was.)
This is the MORTAL SIN OF ONLINE
DATING. I send pics of what I look like
now, not when I modeled lingerie in
my early 20s.
*Oh, yeah, on full-length shots: some
people (me, included) do not show
weight on their face. There was a time,
I'm embarrassed to say, when I let
myself get super-sized. Still, I could
show you gorgeous headshots and
you'd never know. I found out guys can
also be like that. I got a cute instant
selfie of a guy's head and shoulders,
and when he showed up for our first
date, I saw that his ass was big enough
to have its own parking space. It
actually moved by itself! (i.e. separately
from the rest of his obese body.)
My reply - same thing -girls, use a
recent picture. And, we are sick sick
sick of seeing the term "no picture, no
reply". If you post an ad looking to
meet someone, post your picture as
well. What do you have to hide? Are
you afraid your husband or boyfriend
will see the ad? Are to trying to hide the
fact that you are really FAT (curvy,
athletic build, BBW or whatever!)
She wrote ---4. Don't meet me for tea or coffee.
Casual drinks (in a nice bar) is fine, but
coffee makes you look cheap and not
that excited to meet me. If you're not,
My reply - so, coffee is not enough on a
first date? If you ask for casual drinks
(notice- drinks NOT drink was stated
here) are you a gold digger looking for
the guy's money?
A friendly coffee date for the first
meeting is appropriate. Then, if things
go well, take it to the next step. Why
should a guy keep buying you drinkS!!
just to satisfy your ego when he doesn't
even like the way you look or act? First
date should be simple to break the ice.
She wrote ---5.NEVER ask me to grab a coffee from a
closing cafe and drink it in your car
while we chat. Wha???? First of all,
creepy. Second of all, cheap. Thirdly. .
.do you need a third reason?
Yes, this actually happened to me.
There was a whole street lined with
restaurants--and he had me asked to
have "drinks or dinner" with him--but
he wanted to get a coffee. When they
were closing, he suggested the car
thing. Guy, if you're out there,
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU
My reply - NEVER ask the guy to buy
you coffee or something else, and half
way through say "I gotta go, I have an
emergency at work". Have the decency
to finish the date or first meeting.
She wrote ---6. Don't show up with a SORE ON YOUR
UPPER LIP. Especially at a restaurant.
How the heck do you expect me to eat
with that thing glaring at me and my
Southwestern Eggs Benedict? Poor guy.
I feel for you. But, right now, I just feel
Mr reply - don't show up to the date
durning that time of the month. Most
females turn evil, and take everything
out on the poor guy, even on the first
date. And - don't keep getting up to use
the restroom. If you can't act
appropriately, make the first date for a
She wrote ---7. Proper hygiene, above all!
Shower. (Must I really say this?). Use
deodorant. Go easy on the cologne/after
shave/bug spray, etc. Never, never,
NEVER use cologne as deodorant and/or in lieu of showering. Never. Wear
clean clothes. I know you think jeans
can be worn multiple times without
washing and your jacket/sweater/coat
never needs laundering, but you are
wrong. There is such a thing as Male
Funk, and it requires hyper-vigilance to
keep at bay. Not inducing nausea on a
first date is within your control, my
My reply ---Just as there is "male funk" as she
states, there is also "female funk". Let's
face it, some females really smell! Not
always their fault, but don't use the
perfume where it is not supposed to be
used. And, brush your teeth. And, be
sure to discretely place a breath mint in
your mouth after enjoying the first
coffee (!!!!!!!! Hehehe). Just in case the
guy likes you enough to offer a quick
thank you hug or kiss. Remember! He is
treating you to this event, so he should
She wrote ---Hope this helps. If not, please no hate
mail. Feel free to share your stories--I
love commiserating and laughing it off
My reply ---Hope I have enlightened you and hope
you can now see things from a different
perspective. Remember, the female is
only half the equation.