** UPDATE: October 2011 ==
I am returning to this site after taking a couple month break following an almost relationship falling apart. There will be some changes to this profile in the coming days because I now have a few more ideas about what things I want or don't want in a relationship.
For now I think I have had my fill of meeting women a long distance away and hoping that things are the same when we finally meet. It never seems to be that way no matter how much we talk online or on the phone beforehand and this last time it was particularly disappointing. This is not to say that I am now ruling out a long distance thing I don't think I can invest much energy in it anymore. For now I am focusing on local women.
=====================
I'm the shy quiet type. I'm not into watching or playing sports. In fact, they bore me. I read and watch movies and do stuff online. I have a casual interest in video games. That's not so say that all I do is stay at home, I also like bowling, taking walks, and just hanging out, especially at a bookstore.
Don't worry I am not overweight. In fact I'm rather skinny. I
rarely if ever drink and NEVER smoke (and will not date someone who does). I'm active in my church and my family is important to me.
I'm 35 years old, a lifelong Christian (ELCA Lutheran in
case you are wondering) and attend services pretty much every week, I am also very active in the church (council, education committee, etc.). When we still had a vibrant youth program, up until a couple years ago, I was one of the main leaders of it. My match needs to respect this and hopefully share it at least to some degree.
I want (my own) kids some day, but am not looking to be a step daddy (sorry). This is just about me and what I am ready for, not a reflection on her. This is not to say that if you have a child or children that it is a dis-qualifier, merely that it is not what I am specifically looking for. I am open to whatever God's plan for me is. As long as you are willing to have more children then that's fine because I definitely want to have children.
Honesty goes a long way with me. I don't like to be strung
along. If all we are is friends that's okay but it's best for me to
find out sooner than later.
I am not a commitment phobic, in fact I seek commitment. I want to take things slow but if I find the right woman I am ready to commit.
I'm open, honest, deep feeling and looking to fill a void in my
life that can only be filled with female companionship of the
romantic nature. I guess I'm tired of being alone.
I am quiet, introspective, and a good listener
RELIGION:
I was born and raised ELCA Lutheran -- LCA before the ELCA was formed in 1989 -- but rarely identify myself to others as "Lutheran/christian" unless asked. I basically consider myself a Christian. I've long believed that Jesus is up there shaking his head at all of us at the divisions we've drawn in His Church. The most important thing is John 3:16 and how we are saved by grace and not by deeds (Roman 3:23, 10, 12—6:23—5:8—10:9, 10, 13.). The good deeds which we do are in thanksgiving to God for the grace he has given us.
I was born in April of 1975 and baptized as an infant in August of that year. I was "confirmed" in the church through Affirmation of Baptism at the end of 8th grade which is normal for us. I can't really pinpoint a spot in my life where I was "saved" other than that. I've always been Christian an as I've grown I've learned what it means to me.
I am a strong believer in the importance of infant baptism, something I am finding more and more women don't believe. We are born children of a fallen humanity because of the original sin of Adam and Eve. It is only through the waters of baptism that we are reborn children of God and "saved". Baptism can be done at any age, and it has become popular to wait for this in order to let the child make a decision for themselves. This is detrimental to the child because they are not reborn children of God and saved until they are baptized; nor is it biblical. Baptism is the replacement for circumcision and that was done when the child was 8 days old, and in the book of Acts there are numerous references to "all of the members of the family (including the children)" being baptized. Baptism is not the end of a journey but rather the beginning of a life of faith. Dedicating or blessing a child with the intention of baptizing them at a later date is not the same thing. When children grow to a certain age (which varies by denomination) they attend "confirmation" and later allowed to "affirm" their baptism by publicly making the same profession of faith that their parents and sponsors did at their baptism. In the old testament, infants entered into a continental relationship with God through circumcision. There's absolutely no reason to believe that we cannot enter into that relationship with Jesus even if they do not completely understand what that means. Over and over again, Jesus said that the Kingdom of heaven belongs to the children. This is something I have wrestled with over and over again with women that I have met who do not believe as I do, and I find that it is not something I can compromise on. My children will be baptized within the first 3 months of life and my spouse will need to respect and support that even if she does not completely agree with it.
I believe in the sainthood of all believers and The True
Presence of Christ in the communion elements (i.e. the literal
body and blood of Christ not just symbols). I've believed since I
was a teenager that it is the duty of every believer to actively
participate in the ministry of God's Church in the world. For
some of us that is working directly in the ministry of the church
(e.g. leading the youth, teaching Sunday school, assisting with
communion, other participation in the worship service, assisting
with funerals and refreshments for funeral receptions to name a few.), or other things such as witnessing, spiritual counseling of others, or things like helping the poor. At one point or another I've done most of these things.
FAMILY
I have somewhat of an unusual family structure. I am the youngest of 5 kids (two older brothers and two older sisters) all of whom are between 15 and 20 years older than I am. Most of them moved out on their own or got married when I was very small and I've been an uncle since I was 2 1/2.
I have 5 nieces and 5 nephews -- ranging in age from 17 to 34 -- and 4 great nephews 2 great nieces, as well as one more of each not related by blood.
My nieces and nephews growing up were more like cousins due to the ages. My family is very important to me and I don't see them nearly as much as I wish due to work and just everyone doing their own thing a lot of the time. When I do get to see them I would hope that my significant other would be willing to join me.
WHAT I WANT
I am looking for a woman who is interested in being more than just friends.
I'm tired of being "just friends" and want a serious relationship that will eventually lead toward marriage, family
and children. That is not to say that I am not interested in being friends first and see how it goes. I believe you must be friends before anything else can develop. A true lasting romance must grow from friendship first. If a relationship grows into that then great, if not then you still have the friendship and that is a very valuable thing.
I have nothing against opposite sex friends -- I have many of them -- but what bothers me is when one person decides unilaterally early in the friendship (usually based upon superficial physical attractiveness) that that's all there will ever be, that frustrates me very much.
The "just friends" phenomenon happens when one person decides early on that they are only interested in being friends with the other. To me is unfair and stagnates/eliminates the possibility of such growth. I know that sounds a little jaded.
I know what I want, it isn't too much to ask I don't think. I read
all of the different things you can search by on dating websites
and think to myself "I don't care how tall she, what her body type is or what her eye or hair color is" -- well that's not 100% true, I'm not sure I could be attracted to someone who dyed her hair green or an unnatural shade of red, but other than that I'm good -- I just want someone I can have a connection with and who I can get to know and hopefully fall in love with and have her fall in love with me.
Ideally I am looking for someone who has been in few if any serious relationships and does NOT have children yet and is not divorced or separated. Nothing against those who do have those things but being inexperienced in serious relationships with women myself, all that extra baggage would be uncomfortable. I'm not specifically looking for someone younger than myself but I do realize that to meet these
criteria you may be. I believe that maturity level and being in the same place in life is more important than physical age.
None of this is a dis-qualifier, but I just wanted to let people
know what I was looking for and make them aware that if an of this describes them then they would need to be extra patient with me as I worked through any discomfort. Thanks for your understanding.
Physical appearance is relatively unimportant to me (I realize
there must be SOME attraction, but beauty is in the eye of the
beholder). I'm 5'9" and about 145 LBS, but a match does not need to be the same. I'm fine if you have a few extra pounds or are taller or shorter or whatever, in fact as I look back on things I tend to be more attracted to bigger girls..
I tend to contact women who are a few years younger than myself because they tend to be less experienced in the relationship department (as am I) and not have kids yet (see above) but I am also interested in women my age or a little older. As a general guideline I am not looking for anyone under 25 or older than 39, but I am flexible if there is chemistry.
I am returning to this site after taking a couple month break following an almost relationship falling apart. There will be some changes to this profile in the coming days because I now have a few more ideas about what things I want or don't want in a relationship.
For now I think I have had my fill of meeting women a long distance away and hoping that things are the same when we finally meet. It never seems to be that way no matter how much we talk online or on the phone beforehand and this last time it was particularly disappointing. This is not to say that I am now ruling out a long distance thing I don't think I can invest much energy in it anymore. For now I am focusing on local women.
=====================
I'm the shy quiet type. I'm not into watching or playing sports. In fact, they bore me. I read and watch movies and do stuff online. I have a casual interest in video games. That's not so say that all I do is stay at home, I also like bowling, taking walks, and just hanging out, especially at a bookstore.
Don't worry I am not overweight. In fact I'm rather skinny. I
rarely if ever drink and NEVER smoke (and will not date someone who does). I'm active in my church and my family is important to me.
I'm 35 years old, a lifelong Christian (ELCA Lutheran in
case you are wondering) and attend services pretty much every week, I am also very active in the church (council, education committee, etc.). When we still had a vibrant youth program, up until a couple years ago, I was one of the main leaders of it. My match needs to respect this and hopefully share it at least to some degree.
I want (my own) kids some day, but am not looking to be a step daddy (sorry). This is just about me and what I am ready for, not a reflection on her. This is not to say that if you have a child or children that it is a dis-qualifier, merely that it is not what I am specifically looking for. I am open to whatever God's plan for me is. As long as you are willing to have more children then that's fine because I definitely want to have children.
Honesty goes a long way with me. I don't like to be strung
along. If all we are is friends that's okay but it's best for me to
find out sooner than later.
I am not a commitment phobic, in fact I seek commitment. I want to take things slow but if I find the right woman I am ready to commit.
I'm open, honest, deep feeling and looking to fill a void in my
life that can only be filled with female companionship of the
romantic nature. I guess I'm tired of being alone.
I am quiet, introspective, and a good listener
RELIGION:
I was born and raised ELCA Lutheran -- LCA before the ELCA was formed in 1989 -- but rarely identify myself to others as "Lutheran/christian" unless asked. I basically consider myself a Christian. I've long believed that Jesus is up there shaking his head at all of us at the divisions we've drawn in His Church. The most important thing is John 3:16 and how we are saved by grace and not by deeds (Roman 3:23, 10, 12—6:23—5:8—10:9, 10, 13.). The good deeds which we do are in thanksgiving to God for the grace he has given us.
I was born in April of 1975 and baptized as an infant in August of that year. I was "confirmed" in the church through Affirmation of Baptism at the end of 8th grade which is normal for us. I can't really pinpoint a spot in my life where I was "saved" other than that. I've always been Christian an as I've grown I've learned what it means to me.
I am a strong believer in the importance of infant baptism, something I am finding more and more women don't believe. We are born children of a fallen humanity because of the original sin of Adam and Eve. It is only through the waters of baptism that we are reborn children of God and "saved". Baptism can be done at any age, and it has become popular to wait for this in order to let the child make a decision for themselves. This is detrimental to the child because they are not reborn children of God and saved until they are baptized; nor is it biblical. Baptism is the replacement for circumcision and that was done when the child was 8 days old, and in the book of Acts there are numerous references to "all of the members of the family (including the children)" being baptized. Baptism is not the end of a journey but rather the beginning of a life of faith. Dedicating or blessing a child with the intention of baptizing them at a later date is not the same thing. When children grow to a certain age (which varies by denomination) they attend "confirmation" and later allowed to "affirm" their baptism by publicly making the same profession of faith that their parents and sponsors did at their baptism. In the old testament, infants entered into a continental relationship with God through circumcision. There's absolutely no reason to believe that we cannot enter into that relationship with Jesus even if they do not completely understand what that means. Over and over again, Jesus said that the Kingdom of heaven belongs to the children. This is something I have wrestled with over and over again with women that I have met who do not believe as I do, and I find that it is not something I can compromise on. My children will be baptized within the first 3 months of life and my spouse will need to respect and support that even if she does not completely agree with it.
I believe in the sainthood of all believers and The True
Presence of Christ in the communion elements (i.e. the literal
body and blood of Christ not just symbols). I've believed since I
was a teenager that it is the duty of every believer to actively
participate in the ministry of God's Church in the world. For
some of us that is working directly in the ministry of the church
(e.g. leading the youth, teaching Sunday school, assisting with
communion, other participation in the worship service, assisting
with funerals and refreshments for funeral receptions to name a few.), or other things such as witnessing, spiritual counseling of others, or things like helping the poor. At one point or another I've done most of these things.
FAMILY
I have somewhat of an unusual family structure. I am the youngest of 5 kids (two older brothers and two older sisters) all of whom are between 15 and 20 years older than I am. Most of them moved out on their own or got married when I was very small and I've been an uncle since I was 2 1/2.
I have 5 nieces and 5 nephews -- ranging in age from 17 to 34 -- and 4 great nephews 2 great nieces, as well as one more of each not related by blood.
My nieces and nephews growing up were more like cousins due to the ages. My family is very important to me and I don't see them nearly as much as I wish due to work and just everyone doing their own thing a lot of the time. When I do get to see them I would hope that my significant other would be willing to join me.
WHAT I WANT
I am looking for a woman who is interested in being more than just friends.
I'm tired of being "just friends" and want a serious relationship that will eventually lead toward marriage, family
and children. That is not to say that I am not interested in being friends first and see how it goes. I believe you must be friends before anything else can develop. A true lasting romance must grow from friendship first. If a relationship grows into that then great, if not then you still have the friendship and that is a very valuable thing.
I have nothing against opposite sex friends -- I have many of them -- but what bothers me is when one person decides unilaterally early in the friendship (usually based upon superficial physical attractiveness) that that's all there will ever be, that frustrates me very much.
The "just friends" phenomenon happens when one person decides early on that they are only interested in being friends with the other. To me is unfair and stagnates/eliminates the possibility of such growth. I know that sounds a little jaded.
I know what I want, it isn't too much to ask I don't think. I read
all of the different things you can search by on dating websites
and think to myself "I don't care how tall she, what her body type is or what her eye or hair color is" -- well that's not 100% true, I'm not sure I could be attracted to someone who dyed her hair green or an unnatural shade of red, but other than that I'm good -- I just want someone I can have a connection with and who I can get to know and hopefully fall in love with and have her fall in love with me.
Ideally I am looking for someone who has been in few if any serious relationships and does NOT have children yet and is not divorced or separated. Nothing against those who do have those things but being inexperienced in serious relationships with women myself, all that extra baggage would be uncomfortable. I'm not specifically looking for someone younger than myself but I do realize that to meet these
criteria you may be. I believe that maturity level and being in the same place in life is more important than physical age.
None of this is a dis-qualifier, but I just wanted to let people
know what I was looking for and make them aware that if an of this describes them then they would need to be extra patient with me as I worked through any discomfort. Thanks for your understanding.
Physical appearance is relatively unimportant to me (I realize
there must be SOME attraction, but beauty is in the eye of the
beholder). I'm 5'9" and about 145 LBS, but a match does not need to be the same. I'm fine if you have a few extra pounds or are taller or shorter or whatever, in fact as I look back on things I tend to be more attracted to bigger girls..
I tend to contact women who are a few years younger than myself because they tend to be less experienced in the relationship department (as am I) and not have kids yet (see above) but I am also interested in women my age or a little older. As a general guideline I am not looking for anyone under 25 or older than 39, but I am flexible if there is chemistry.
