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23 F Tustin, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body Type
A little extra
Mostly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Japanese (Poorly), Russian (Poorly)

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My self-summary
LA RESIDENTS: I recognize that I live outside of LA. As connections are hard to find, I am fine with this if you are, but please realize it before we start talking, you sillies.

Someone once told me I was her anti-hero.

I call people "bro" unironically. I like hockey and UFC; I suspect I may just be a fan of violence and gore. I don't like automatic headlights; I think they're presumptuous. I'll decide when I want my lights on, car.

I have been described as both having a "fuck you" sense of humor and being a "fuck you" pragmatist. Mostly I think this is a neat coincidence, especially given that they happened years apart.

I like meat and leather. I don't mind if you don't, but don't impose your morality on me.

I have questionable morals.

I'm not looking for a ~*~*partner in crime*~*~. I'm looking for the other half of a badass, vain, luxurious powercouple (who can also be goofy and clever and kawaii as all hell).
What I’m doing with my life
I am an ~*administrative assistant*~ at a clinical trial site in Orange.

I like to take pictures that look exactly the same, then post them like they're different.

I take wrestling and Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Though I am trying to lose weight (down 15 pounds \o/), learning how to throw down is for reals fun as fuck and I'm excited to have found exercise that is its own reward so I don't have to, like, pretend that I enjoy running or some shit. Plus getting to say I grapple four nights a week makes me feel pretty baller.

You know what I'm not doing? Having fun. I hate having fun, I hate to laugh, and I'm not at all down-to-earth.
I’m really good at
• Delivering cutting jokes with a disarming smile so that you're all confused because I said something mean but said it so damn cutely.
• Being easily spotted from afar/in a crowd due to hair brightness.
• Insult-slingin'.
• Noun-creatin'.
• Irish goodbyes (minus any drunk driving, obvs).
• Microwaving frozen dinners.
• Karaoke with ever-important conviction.
• Considering phrasing semantics aloud.
• Casual and/or facetious hostility. (I have had this phrased as "banterous faux-contempt.")
• Eating the heels of bread. Once I made peace with this, I realized it meant I could have the pieces other people didn't want. More bread for me, suckers.

What I'm really bad at is whistling or snapping, because I can't do either.
The first things people usually notice about me
My features are blatant: curly hair, freckles, and a normal-sized Jewnose.

They've also probs noticed my redheadedness, so the ginger thing. Goin' for that Christina Hendricks game. Now that I'm doing grappling too, though, maybe it's also Black Widow game. I could live with that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Power-related books, like The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of War, and The Prince. Also The Karl Lagerfeld Diet, because his quotes are so deliciously pompous.

300, The Fifth Element, and Thank You For Smoking. Full Metal Jacket because it is definitely worth being quoted as much as it is. Mostly, I like movies about badassery.

Music: Hip-hop/electronic mashups. Also kinds of rock and other kinds of electronic music. Lots of songs make me really happy and while it's awesome if our tastes mesh, I don't mind if they don't. If you really care, though, there's this:

Oh, I guess I never filled out what shows or food I like. My eyes always end up glazing over this section in other people's profiles. This probably ends up being the least interesting part of any given profile. Lots of people list the same shows but have wildly different senses of humor. I like Community, Futurama, Game of Thrones, Archer, Bob's Burgers, The League, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, My Little Pony, and House of Cards (most notably particular scenes between Frank and Zoe, *ahem* ((Please note this was written after the first season. Pls no S2 F/Z action))).

I also read webcomics: SMBC, xkcd, Questionable Content, Sinfest, and Diesel Sweeties. I used to read a looooot more >_>.
The six things I could never do without
The Internet, pretty things, hyphens, wit, swearing, and brow arches.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Something that struck me is the phrase, "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land amongst the stars." No you fucking won't. Do people realize how far away shit is in space? If you shoot for the moon and miss, you will land in a huge area of nothing, and you will fucking die in that area of nothing.

I am NOT thinking about how to survive a zombie apocalypse. You are not quirky for mentioning zombies. You are boring and uninspiredly bandwagoning.
On a typical Friday night I am
- On the internet/playing WildStar.

- Figuring out what to wear to monthly game night.

- Netflix with housemates.

- At a lesbian club. Useful for my housemates, and I get to dance and not give a fuck.

- At some other bar with housemates, watching people try to score with each other and laughing at dudes who are clearly begrudgingly dancing only because the girl they're trying to bone wants to.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I harbor a secret dream of getting fit enough to cosplay Lara Croft or Leela some day.

I've been accused of being tsundere before. It could be true. For as abrasive as my sense of humor can be, I want to like someone so much that I want to be kind to them. I love cutesy mushy shit.

Also, I hate hiking. But I have friends who hike, so it's totally okay, babe.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 20–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You enjoy mouthy Jewesses.

You have a delightful turn-of-phrase, and maybe a vaguely twisted sense of "delightful."

Appreciation of darker-styled ladies is a plus. Gothy qtness ok~.

YOU APPRECIATE GRATUITOUS USE OF CAPS LOCK AND KNOW THAT IT DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN YELLING usually it just means sometimes motherfuckers need to be emphatic okay.

You find neurotic, stream-of-consciousness-type ramblings endearing.

You take part in badass bar trivia.

I'm LGBTQ-friendly. I also have many poly and kinky friends. I am not poly. Also, if you're of the dom[inant] variety, that would be quite acceptable. Pretty necessary, even. If you are poly, I would consider casually dating, but there is no longer-term potential. I am monogamous with relationships.

You're the type of pony everypony should know.

I've given you a 4-or-5-star rating. It very likely means I want you to message me, but am being shy or have, for whatever reason, found myself unable to think of a clever message. But also especially if I've already messaged you.

A woman calling herself a feminist doesn't make you run away crying about misandry.

I don't want to "just find a nice guy who would rather stay in and play Scrabble with me than go out." Scrabble is the new cliché. I fucking hate Scrabble.