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25 Fairfield, CT Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18-30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 2:21pm
Native American, White
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm Uebert. My big sister calls me Bertie or Birdie. She likes birds. I like them too. She is very important to me. I live with her.

I don't have very many friends. My sister will be moving in with her fiancé in a few months so I need to find someone similar to her to move in with. She is tall, about 6'1". Has pretty hair, green eyes, a great voice, and she is really smart. Her name is Mary. I like the name Mary. She knows a lot about birds. She is an ornithologist. Her favorite bird is the Tauraco erythrolophus. Mine is the Corvus corax. It is an intelligent bird.

I don't have very many hobbies. I usually just work, watch TV, and stare out my window into the neighbor's yard.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
During the day I sell ice cream from my van.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
watching without being seen, wearing a ski mask, unlocking things, cutting letters out of magazines, making my voice unrecognizable over the phone, carrying heavy objects, tying knots, cleaning, self-defense, running, sneaking, waking up at 4 am screaming in terror, being born with six fingers on each of my hands, and cooking a spinach casserole
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
people don't notice me
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Nightwalker, Cujo, The Shining, Dracula, Sharp Objects, In Cold Blood, The Stranger, A Time to Kill, Sense and Sensibility

Films: Blonde Cobra, Cannibal Holocaust, Eraserhead, Monster, Antichrist, Battle Royale, Buried

TV Shows: Archer, Wilfred, Once Upon a Time, Psych, Walking Dead, South Park, Castle, and the Daily Show

Music: Dixie Chicks. Natalie Maines sounds like my sister.

Food: eggs and carrots
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
duct tape
my sister
hand sanitizer
lip balm
socks (my feet get cold pretty easily)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
birds and how to make money
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sorry, can't tell you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a glass eye but my sister says no one can tell.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're like my sister

...but actually...if you immediately realized this profile was a joke

(I can't see who liked my profile since I don't have A-list so just shoot me a message instead and I'll respond)