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spacewaffle

24 M Carlsbad, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Native American, White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Skinny
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
$150,000–$250,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
I'm Uebert. My big sister calls me Bertie or Birdie. She likes birds. I like them too. She is very important to me. I live with her.

I don't have very many friends. My sister will be moving in with her fiancé in a few months so I need to find someone similar to her to move in with. She is tall, about 6'1". Has pretty hair, green eyes, a great voice, and she is really smart. Her name is Mary. I like the name Mary. She knows a lot about birds. She is an ornithologist. Her favorite bird is the Tauraco erythrolophus. Mine is the Corvus corax. It is an intelligent bird.

I don't have very many hobbies. I usually just work, watch TV, and stare out my window into the neighbor's yard.
What I’m doing with my life
During the day I sell ice cream from my van.
I’m really good at
watching without being seen, wearing a ski mask, unlocking things, cutting letters out of magazines, making my voice unrecognizable over the phone, carrying heavy objects, tying knots, cleaning, self-defense, running, sneaking, waking up at 4 am screaming in terror, being born with six fingers on each of my hands, and cooking a spinach casserole
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Nightwalker, Cujo, The Shining, Dracula, Sharp Objects, In Cold Blood, The Stranger, A Time to Kill, Sense and Sensibility

Films: Blonde Cobra, Cannibal Holocaust, Eraserhead, Monster, Antichrist, Battle Royale, Buried

TV Shows: Archer, Wilfred, Once Upon a Time, Psych, Walking Dead, South Park, Castle, and the Daily Show

Music: Dixie Chicks. Natalie Maines sounds like my sister.

Food: eggs and carrots
The six things I could never do without
duct tape
my sister
hand sanitizer
lip balm
birds
socks (my feet get cold pretty easily)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
birds and how to make money
On a typical Friday night I am
Sorry, can't tell you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a glass eye but my sister says no one can tell.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
you're like my sister

...but actually...if you immediately realized this profile was a joke