Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm going to come clean. The whole thing about guys who write like
300 OKCupid messages a night that just say "Hey sexy!" and playing
the odds? That was all my idea. I'm so sorry, I assumed all those
other guys would know it was a joke.
Fun things to do: A multi-table, day long pinball tournament.
Engaging strangers in conversation over drinks and slowly let it
slip out that we're spies as we get tipsy. Weekend breakfast
I’m active with my dog; I've raced homing pigeons and have a
falconry license. Not that I’m one of those renaissance fair
costume people, I just like learning new oddball things. I can dork
out to pretty much anyone’s strange interests as long as the people
you’re doing it with are fun.
Unfortunately, I know nothing about kids but am willing to learn if
you cut me some slack while I’m figuring it out. I’m pretty sure
I’m not supposed to give them fake ID as a birthday present, and I
know they’re supposed to win at stuff. Other than that I’m lost but
Must like, or at least not mind, animals. I have a kind of organic
behavioral training method for my dog; the uneducated might mistake
this for spoiling him. I believe that from his standpoint, the
greatest concern is that you have the ability to provide treats (I
will make treats available for your first meeting).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
This is the part where I say something like "enjoying every day!"
or "Living it, and improving myself!" It might be more interesting
to know that yes, I have a stable job and place of my own, pay my
bills, etc.... Almost like I'm an adult. The job is there to
support the rest of my life, not the other way around.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making children and the elderly laugh. Making lasagna. Eating
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I can laugh about almost anything. Sometimes it really bites me in
the ass. My IRL jokes are way funnier than this profile, I'm just
holding back for positive first impressions.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Don't Shoot the Dog by Karen Pryor, Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, The
Walking Dead, The Big Lebowski, Blade Runner, The Cyberiad by
Bikini Kill, Franz Ferdinand (the band, not the Austrian noble),
Veruca Salt, Heart and L7 among others. Apparently I kind of have a
90's Riot Grrl band habit. At least it isn't a 90's boy band
The Nightmare Before Christmas, Apocalypse Now, Donnie Darko. I
like lots of indie films. Anything to the north of Howard the Duck
is watchable in my book.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A cold beer after a long walk on a hot day. A good slice of pizza
when you've been busy all day and realize you're starving. Getting
a back scratch without having to ask. Little projects that can be
finished in a single evening when all other plans fall through.
Being able to own and operate an electric guitar without having to
be any good at playing it. My firm belief in the absence of all
evidence that I would have made an awesome old west gunslinger.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why some touches tickle and others don't, and why on earth do we
laugh when tickled, and why do so many people dislike it? Tickling
is just pleasantly weird.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Helping OJ find the real killer.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I actually know who the real killer is. I just can't bring myself
to tell OJ.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like animals and pets. You prefer big fat lazy time on a
Saturday afternoon to quality every few weeks. You like small
adventures as well as big ones. You have no problem with the fact
that nothing bad actually happens if all the silverware gets dumped
into a drawer from the dishwasher instead of being carefully
In response to the question "What should we do tonight?" an option
in the back of your mind is "Well, we could always build GOOD robot
us to fight them."
Or if you're a superhero. That would be fucking awesome. You don't
have to tell me.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.