You: Enjoys having someone cook for them. Confident in your looks and sense of humor, whatever they are. If one of my socially inept programmer friends asks if you're pregnant, you are able to hold a straight face and pressure them into planning a baby shower, where you get drunk. Eventually get comfortable enough in a relationship that you ask me to pull your finger. Has time in their schedule to date.
I like scuba diving and hope to get out more in the coming year. My other hobbies involve nature and animals. I generally get up earlier on the weekend than weekdays.
I also really enjoy cooking, I'm constantly inviting friends over because cooking and doing the dishes for yourself alone is just anticlimactic. Kindly be someone who enjoys being cooked for, picnics apply as well. I've also been told I give exceptional back-rubs, kind of the whole package really.
Finally, kids. I know nothing about them except that you let them win at stuff and don't give them fake ID. It's absolutely fine if you have them and I wouldn't rule them out in the future, but I'm going to need some training.
"Why did you do that? "
"Oh, I just wanted you attention so you could tell me more about your thesis project."
"Oh, well I'm happy to explain....."
Ignoring cats right the hell back.
Reminding teachers they forgot to assign homework, my friend's dates that it's trampy to put out too soon, and bartenders that they really should have had last call by now.
Coming up with online dating strategies. That thing where guys send out 600 messages a night that just say "Hey sexy"? My idea.
Not taking selfies in the bathroom shirtless so you can see my abs. I promise, they're magnificent.
The last thing people notice about me though? That I possess the stealth of a ninja when I sneak away from their PowerPoint presentation of vacation pictures, never to bother talking to them again.
Movies, I like them. Even bad ones. Especially hitting the indie theater. Please suggest one.
Books, I read a lot. My couch has an ass grove from me reading in the evening, and my dog has a whole body groove right next to it. I enjoy like getting into a series, mostly fiction at home.
Do racist families have the one weird uncle who goes on at Thanksgiving about how Obama is clearly American?
How happy were barn owls when someone built the first barn?
Wasn't the world more fun when we just made stuff up to sound like we knew what we were talking about instead of having Google on our phones?
If Mary Kay Letourneau hooked up with Benjamin Button, would that be legit?
Do I decline when the grocery bagger offers to help me to my car because I'm a strong, virile man or because I think it'd be embarrassing to listen to a pimply faced teenager sigh and roll their eyes while I search for my car?
Can I fly Virgin airlines even though I've done sex? Because I have. I've totally done it really well.
Or if you're a superhero. That would be fucking awesome. You don't have to tell me.