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spidersharks

29 M Boulder, CO

My Details

Last Online
Aug 21
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Asian, Middle Eastern, Black, Native American, Indian, Pacific Islander, Hispanic / Latin, White
Height
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly halal
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Other, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on space camp
Job
Technology
Income
$60,000–$70,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English, Japanese (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly), C++ (Fluently), Tagalog (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Imma buff baby that can dance like a man

I can shake-a mah fanny I can shake-a mah can

I'm a tough tootin baby, I can puncha yo buns! Puncha yo buns, I can punch all yo buns!

If you're an evil witch, imma punch you for fun!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Fire Dancing, generally swinging things around with style.

Constantly reconstructing my perspective on life, the universe, and everything.

I HAVE TOO MANY SILLY HATS-

Ha, no. You can't have too many silly hats. Ever.

Really. I have like, 9 silly hats. Nine.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Everything, some of the time, 62% of the time. And spontaneous Mitch Hedberg quotes. And cards against humanity.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm odd and extensibly sarcastic. And that I have a thing for misusing large words in a feeble attempt to sound refined as well as educated.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Food: I like meat. Yummy, delicious, meaty meat. Meat from animals, I like to eat animals. Om nom nom animals. If you are vegan or vegetarian I hope this offends you.

Music: Unts with a side of whomp.

Books: I can't read or write.

Movies: I fucking love Twilight.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Cup holders

Orange juice

Bullet pointed lists

Norse gods

Power adapters that take up too much space on a power strip

Fake enthusiasm for the geriatric
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If a jack on the rocks is $7, and a jack n coke is $5, can I order a jack n coke, hold the coke, and thusly save $2.00?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Banging on things with sticks and politely inconveniencing my neighbor
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I shadowcasted as Riff Raff at a showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Which means I wore man panties and a bright gold space transvestite suit in front of about 50 people while I shot my girlfriend with a bubble gun.

Your move.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 21–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to make a friend who won't judge you for wearing your underpants on top of your overpants.