spidersharks
31 Boulder, CO
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
spidersharks
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Imma buff baby that can dance like a man

I can shake-a mah fanny I can shake-a mah can

I'm a tough tootin baby, I can puncha yo buns! Puncha yo buns, I can punch all yo buns!

If you're an evil witch, imma punch you for fun!

Lol free A-List. I can see your face!
What I’m doing with my life
Fire Dancing, generally swinging things around with style.

Constantly reconstructing my perspective on life, the universe, and everything.

I HAVE TOO MANY SILLY HATS-

Ha, no. You can't have too many silly hats. Ever.

Really. I have like, 9 silly hats. Nine.
I’m really good at
Everything, some of the time, 62% of the time. And spontaneous Mitch Hedberg quotes. And cards against humanity.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm odd and extensibly sarcastic. And that I have a thing for misusing large words in a feeble attempt to sound refined as well as educated.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Food: I like meat. Yummy, delicious, meaty meat. Meat from animals, I like to eat animals. Om nom nom animals. If you are vegan or vegetarian I hope this offends you.

Music: Unts with a side of whomp.

Books: I can't read or write.

Movies: I fucking love Twilight.
The six things I could never do without
Cup holders

Orange juice

Bullet pointed lists

Norse gods

Power adapters that take up too much space on a power strip

Fake enthusiasm for the geriatric
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If a jack on the rocks is $7, and a jack n coke is $5, can I order a jack n coke, hold the coke, and thusly save $2.00?
On a typical Friday night I am
Banging on things with sticks and politely inconveniencing my neighbor
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I shadowcasted as Riff Raff at a showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Which means I wore man panties and a bright gold space transvestite suit in front of about 50 people while I shot my girlfriend with a bubble gun.

Your move.
You should message me if
You want to make a friend who won't judge you for wearing your underpants on top of your overpants.
More