Relationship astrology is just about the most complex specialty in astrology precisely because it deals with the moving parts of more than one person. “Moving parts” are all the planets in your chart and the energetic connections they make to each other called “aspects”. Yet, our moving parts aren’t always well coordinated. Rarely is a human put together that all the parts move together harmoniously. Along the 360 degree wheel of the zodiac certain separations between one planet to another holds special significance. The challenge aspect, the square, (90 degrees)  the tension aspect, the opposition, (180 degrees) the conjunction (0 to 10 degrees) and the stress aspect known as inconjuncts (150 degrees) are the lessons we are here to work through especially when it comes to how we relate to others.

Conjunctions  are a fusion of energy between the planets that are conjoined. Conjunctions are planets that are often, but not always, in the same sign and within a few degrees of each other.  Here is a blending of harmonies between the planets so that this energy takes on a hybrid life of its own. If Mercury is conjunct your Sun, for instance, your essential nature and your thinking processes are intimately tied together. No problem with communication here. But there may be a lack of an ability to see other’s viewpoints. With a conjunction you may find it difficult to realize that other people are separate and apart from you.

Oppositions talk primarily about the “other”. Sun and Moon, yin and yang, Heaven and Earth. The issue is polarity, that which balances one end against the other. People with oppositions in their chart are here to work on building relationships with others. “Opposites attract” so the saying goes, but it more than that. In the puzzle of human relationships we will draw to ourselves those people that make us feel complete. But the very part that completes us often competes with us. It is what gives the opposition its passion and fire. The work of the opposition is to balance the competing energies between you.

Squares are challenges within you and often manifest as the same challenges with other people. If you have Venus square Mars for instance, sex, for you is an important part of the relationship, often overriding other concerns. Consequently, you’ll chose a partner who you consider “sexy” and “exciting” regardless of whether or not the relationship is good in other respects. Sexual issues, including jealousy and fidelity, become the focal point of the success or failure of your coupling, while the other aspects of relationships, such as compatibility, mutuality, emotional bonding, go begging. Worse yet, you’ll blame yourself for not being sexy enough to keep your partner when the relationship goes south.

Inconjuncts  pose a dilemma because it is difficult for you to get a handle on issues on the two planets within that configuration. Inconjuncts are known as the seesaw aspect for good reason. With the inconjunct you bounce from one extreme position to another unable to come to a resolution or a decision. When you have an inconjunct in play in your chart, your love relationship reflects this push pull. Let’s say you have Venus inconjuct the Sun. Money issues can dominate your relationship, with the man not earning enough to help sustain your household or focused too much on earning it to pay much attention to his partner. Either way, (an it can swing both ways in the same relationship, with a boom or bust cycle of earning power) this issue can threaten the viability of the relationship.

Being aware of how you trip yourself up can help you overcome the rough spots in your moving parts so that you can more successfully navigate your relationships.

For more on relationship astrology two good books are “Skymates, the Astrology of Love, Sex and Intimacy” by Steven and Jodie  Forrest and “The Astrology of Human Relationships” by Frances Sakoian and Louis B. Acker.