Hi there. I'm a cute queer girl, who really enjoys making out with other cute queers. I'm open to respectful, awesome straight boys, as well. I know you're out there, notwithstanding mountains of evidence to the contrary. My username is pretty accurate in explaining what I'm looking for: steady* play.

Hold on, there. I am not saying I'll fuck you immediately, regardless of whether or not we can stand each other (I stopped being searchable by "casual sex," for a reason). I actually like to respect and even befriend the people I have sex with, and I prefer them to respect me, as well. In fact, just to be absolutely clear, I'm going to list a bunch of deal-breakers, just so we don't waste each other's time.

- If you write a one-liner, I'm just going to delete it, even if you're a 90% match. I put a fair amount of time and effort into telling you about me; ergo, I appreciate when you put some time and effort into telling me about you. If you want to let me know we have "similar interests," please be specific; it makes it much easier for me to write back. Also, it makes it easier for me to think you're awesome, and then we both win. Seriously, when you write, "sup sexy," what I read is, "I'm an illiterate asshat."
- This is, inherently, hilarious. Please be able to see the humor in this situation, and be comfortable with yourself. We're adults here.
- The robot has proved to be pretty smart; if we're below 80%, it's probably not going to work out.
- Don't be a douchebag.
- Yes, I have an hourglass figure; however, I am emphatically not thin. I'm actually kinda chubby. Super hot, but not "fit," "athletic," or whatever politically correct term you use to try to disguise the fact that you want a girl who looks like the girls on TV. It's fine that you want that, but it's not me, so please don't write to me.
- I wear glasses and stripey tights. I have pink streaks in my hair. I am not mainstream attractive. I feel really good about this; I'm not fishing for compliments, so please don't write to me and tell me I *am* mainstream attractive. I don't particularly want to be; also, you're lying.
- I know this sounds obnoxious; I'm weeding you out.
- I'm a smart, funny, sex-positive person. You should be, too.
- Like douchebaggery, if you happen to be racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, or just a garden-variety bigot, please be able to keep this to yourself; I don't want to know about it, and it won't get you laid.
- I'm a grammar nerd. Big words and appropriate punctuation turn me on. Seriously. Meaning that if you can't spell and don't know how to use apostrophes, we're not going to hit it off.
- I'm also a smartypants. I have a soft spot for nerds and geeks.
- If you don't have a picture, send one; this is my naughty profile, so I'm allowed to be a little superficial.
- I don't shave my legs (you probably won't notice, but I'm letting you know in case it scares you off and saves me some time) or my armpits. I do wax other areas, because it's fun to play with body hair.
- I prefer to conduct my entire life in Brooklyn. If you want to meet in Manhattan, you'd better be pretty damn persuasive.
- I do read the answers to your questions: don't be surprised if I tell you I'm not interested because you've said that being overweight is a dealbreaker and you think women are obligated to shave their legs and have sex with you (I am, I don't, and I won't, respectively).
- I have some fun hobbies and amazing friends that take up a lot of my time. I may not be able to meet up for a few weeks. I totally get that waiting around gets old, and I'm not mad at you for not wanting to, but I'm not going to cancel plans with friends to meet someone from the internet. I wouldn't expect you to, either. So maybe we can be super spontaneous and meet up right away, but it's more likely that we'll have to plan way in advance.
- I don't fuck Republicans. I am a commie, pinko, queer, and while you don't have to be, it helps.

*Steady could mean every few weeks, every month, or every few months. It could also mean every night for a week, and then never again. I'm not so into one-night stands; I prefer on-going play, as it gives us a chance to learn about each other and get to know each other's bodies.

Attempting to find cute folks I enjoy smooching.

Teaching myself to steer my bicycle without using my hands. I'm getting pretty good at this and can now go around corners.

Knitting: grown-up things for me, and baby things for my friends who are beginning to pop out babies.

Smooching.
Snuggling.
Making out.
Leaving in the morning.
Scheduling future playdates.
Sharing.
Being really, intensely, spectacularly, sensitive; I've been told I'm amazing to watch.

Also, I like to surf, and I'm pretty darn good at knitting. I can also make amazing pie crust from scratch -- vegan or non: your choice.

I don't know; I'm not in your head. Feel free to let me know what you think.

Maybe the pink hair? Maybe the bike helmet if I've just arrived?

These days, I imagine it's that I'm peeling off layer after layer of outdoor clothing; I don't believe in being cold.

I like to read. All the time. I like Calvin and Hobbes, as well as Salman Rushdie, Alice Walker, Terry Pratchett, bell hooks, James Baldwin, and Gabriel Garcia Marquez. _Against Love_ by Laura Kipnis was instrumental in forging my feelings about monogamy as a tool of the state. If you are a character from a Tom Robbins novel, I will have sex with you.

I don't particularly like movies.

I've never had television as an adult.

I have fond memories of making out to Portishead and Prince in college. The Pandora stations I'm currently listening to are based on The Pogues and Pat Benetar.

I like Thai, Indian, and Italian cuisines. I also like fancy French food. My favorite food in the world is cheese, and my favorite cheese is D'Affinois; I swear it's a religious experience.

Condoms.
Good silicone or water-based lube.
The ocean and a board to surf it (I don't *only* think about sex).
My glasses (contacts when I'm surfing).
A good book.
A healthy sense of the absurd (if you have one, too, I think that's sexy).
My bicycle.
My willingness to ignore someone's arbitrary rules, while being perfectly comfortable with making up my own.

Right now, surfing.

Non-monogamy.

Modern courtship rituals, particularly as they apply to online dating.

The sexual double standard and why folks are so anti-sex while being simultaneously obsessed with it.

How to make it clear that I'm looking for long-term casual sex, when OkCupid insists on putting them in different boxes. I decided to put this in my profile, so you have to read to find it, rather than keeping it as a searchable field. We'll see how that goes.

Recently, cursing OkC for taking away my ability to put a smiley next to messages I like; this makes it much more difficult to keep track of things. Fuck these Match.com folks who are fucking things up.

What the right number is.

I prefer to hear from queers, regardless of gender. Solo folks in or out of relationships are great (I am perfectly happy to be a secondary, tertiary, or whatever partner); queer couples should definitely apply within. Hetero couples are fine, too, as long as you're amazing: I'm past the point where the novelty is enough. You straight dudes, wow. Someone's giving y'all a bad name; you should check yourselves.

Also, dirty bike punks = hot. My bike is not as cool as yours, nor am I as comfortable weaving in and out of traffic, but, damn, do I love to watch you do it. The other night, I almost stopped a dude and asked him if he wanted to make out, based solely on the way he rode his bike; such fluid grace, you'd think it was an extension of his body. Unfortunately, I lost him going down the Manhattan Bridge.

I'm into the idea of lovers who may only be in town intermittently, but with whom I have super-hot times when they are around. So if you're on the other side of the world, but you come to NYC every so often, feel free to write.

Most private thing: I <3 gay boys. Seriously. So if you've ever just wanted to try a girl, I'm your girl. Or if you want an audience whilst you make out with your boyfriend, drop me a line.

You are an adult with a sense of humor who doesn't think that sex is dirty and wrong (although it can be dirty and right).

You are patient, and understand that it may take a few days for me to write the thoughtful response you deserve, and won't bug me in the interim.

You're honest and respectful, and interested in exploring this adventure with a like-minded fellow traveler.

You're a gay boy.

You can craft an introductory email with actual sentences, complete with subjects, predicates, and punctuation. I really appreciate emails that are clearly written to me, and not just a cut and paste of the message you send to everyone. I know it's not easy -- I write to people, too -- but it *does* make you stand out. Clever, witty, and/or eloquent emails are a huge turn-on.

You're a dirty bike punk.

You understand that, while I'm happy to hear about you and your life and ideas via email, the same does not go for your penis. I don't want to know anything about him -- not his length, his girth, *nothing* -- until we meet in person, and I can decide for myself. Seriously. Please do not tell me about your penis. Thank you.

You live in Bed-Stuy or Crown Heights, and want to come over for spontaneous, late-night (or mid-afternoon) make out sessions.

You, too, are a commie, pinko, queer (any/all of the above).

You play trombone or another brass instrument. I have a theory I want to test out.

You're a sweet young thing who wants to be corrupted.

You're an adorable little boy who will let me slap you around and do my laundry for me (and maybe a few other chores).

All right, you got this far. This is where the good stuff is.

If we meet up and hit it off, I will most likely be willing to do one or a combination of the following:

+ be your booty call for an indeterminate length of time;
+ engage in BDSM with you (safe, sane, and consensual, of course);
+ fuck you and your partner(s);
+ cook dinner with you before taking you to bed and fucking your brains out (if you'll help with dishes);
+ have sex with you in a public place;
+ schedule playdates with you several weeks in advance, to accommodate both (or all) of our busy schedules, and stick to it;
+ bring you to a sex party;
+ answer the door in a negligee;
+ fill in the blank.

Come on; let's get in some trouble together.