Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


31 M London, UK

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–34
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:13am
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm Ollie, and if there's one thing I excel at, it's writing ill considered diatribes in public forums, ostensibly with the intention of making myself seem cooler than I actually am...

Otiose, bilious individual, comes equipped with a caustic sense of humour, a plethora of nerdy tattoos and a fucking terrible haircut.

Happiest spending an inordinate amount of time downloading minimalist techno and obscure Eastern-European black metal with dubious political leanings, in the vain hope that my peers will see me as some kind of renegade.

I have rendered cognitive dissonance an art form.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
*Starring in low-budget soft-core erotica
*Partaking in charity boxing matches (H from Steps broke my sternum)
*Composing and performing avant garde folk-noise to disinterested audiences throughout the UK
*Smashing the system
*Recreating the most savage scenes from 'Game Of Thrones' in local shopping centres
*Spinning around quickly, screaming the lyrics to Painkiller by Judas Priest
*Biting opposing footballers, then lying about it
*Putting the final touches to my sitcom script; 'Beale & Endell', staring Ian Beale & Charles Endell
*Weeping gently in your cupboard
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
*Dancing to 'Starships' by Nicki Minaj... God forbid you get in the way when I am doing so.
*Goalkeeping... There is a fine art to stopping a fast travelling football with your face.
*Shouting inventive insults at Mario Kart
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My dazzling firebrand virtuosity. Or my dumb face.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm so eclectic; I like two types of indie and that rap song that doesn't have the 'n' word in it.

I love noise bands with stupid, contrived names like Ahlzagailzehguh and The Gerogerigegege
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
*Righteous indignation
*Furious Iconoclasm
*An army of children to do my bidding
*iPod full of ear bleeding noise
*Staring blankly at the sky
*Something else
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Standing on street corners, wearing a cardboard suit and screaming at the clouds.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once, while drunk and overexcited, accidentally kicked a tramp's false leg.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You almost certainly shouldn't, unless you want to receive a reply that borders on the unintelligible, and will probably make you cry.