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53 M Niles, IL

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 46–58
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:10pm
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Thanks for checking out my profile.

Before I begin, please know this -- I know I'm not perfect. And you don't need to be perfect either. Nor do you need to fit to a T the qualities I seek. I list all of the below just to try my best to describe myself and an idea of who I think I click with. Don't have all the qualities I name? No problem -- write me anyway.

Okay. There are a few sides to my personality. I definitely am warm, caring, introspective, down to earth, sexy, smart, funny, assertive and confident. I need a woman who shares some of these traits.

Professionally, I have been a child and family therapist for over twenty years. I greatly enjoy it. I have learned so much over the years from doing this -- how to have more patience and acceptance, how to listen, how to stay open to various ideas, how to be honest yet supportive, how to know that I don't know a ton of things and so I better stay humble. I get sustenance from helping people understand each other, get closer to each other, fight their own demons and win. I believe in the power of love. I'm lucky to do this for a living.

I'm liberal and I try to stay involved politically. I never feel I do enough. At the least, I sign my share of online petitions.

I love to listen and to talk (the length if my profile might be a clue to that!). As I get to know a woman, I crave to know her on a deeper level, to discuss our goals, dreams, fears, passions, relationships, and work.

Personality-wise, I can also be impish, fun, naughty, playful, cheeky and outrageous. And I like to be stylish and sexy and a bit outré.

I love humor -- not just hearing it, but doing it. I would love a partner to banter with. Humor is the spice, not the main dish, in my conversations and interactions. I like humor that makes people feel good, not bad.

I occasionally like to dance -- hip-hop, swing, salsa. I like the flash and fun and magic and sexiness of dance. But even when I don't dance, I like to feel the exuberance and sensuality and energy of dance. You don't have to dance, but I'd like you to be comfortable with your body, its sexiness and vitality. Of course, I have never known a woman yet -- no matter how beautiful -- who is completely happy with her body. But that's okay. I like women's bodies, and I'll like yours, imperfections and all.

My perfect partner knows that profanity can be a wonderful use of language. Sometimes a juicy curse is exactly the word that's needed to complete a sentence, a poem, or a note to your elected official.

My biggest passion since I was age 44 is golf. People who are not addicted to this game may not understand its appeal. All I can say is that playing it feels akin to being able to fly. I run a coed golf group on meet-up. It has men, women, people of color. We play the cheaper courses, never country clubs (I hate them). We have a true love of the game and we encourage each other, celebrate our successes. I love the group -- it's like throwing a party once a week.

Let me address the question I get all the time: why have I never married? I didn't want to and was not ready to until I my late thirties or so. Before then, I had my own work to do -- mainly on myself and my relationships, but also on my career (I went to college and grad school in my late twenties and early thirties). All that work paid off -- I have been truly happy for years. If I had married in my twenties or thirties, I'd be divorced now. But apparently I'd also look better to a lot of women. In the last fifteen years, I have had a few serious relationships but it is incredibly hard to find a mutual match. I don't fit with everybody and don't seek a mainstream woman. All I can tell you is this -- I am capable of intimacy and commitment.

Other pertinent info:

You are at least somewhat active and well-read, you stay in shape, and are looking for a serious, perhaps life-long relationship.

In romance, I want a co-leader, an equal partner.

I love current events, films, books. I like off-beat plays, improv, art, dancing, throwing a party, bowling, and taking a walk.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
See my never-ending description, above.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Again, above.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Do you know -- I couldn't care less. I don't understand this as a question that frequently shows up in personal ad templates. And isn't this situation-specific? For instance, if I'm drowning, the first thing people probably notice about me is that I'm yelling "Help, help!"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Some of my favorite movies include: classics (Bogart, Brando, Newman, Hitchcock, Film Noir); Ordinary People; Blue Valentine; There's Something About Mary; The Full Monty; The Blair Witch Project; The Virgin Suicides.

TV: All the best creative minds have moved to cable! I thought The Wire was great.

Fave Books/Authors: Vonnegut, high end mysteries (i.e., Michael Connelly -- something realistic with good characters that teaches you about some aspect of life), psychology books, Pat Conroy, biographies, books about actors, films, and film-making.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Vowels
2. Vestibular awareness
3. My imaginary friend "Pete"
4. My air-tight alibi for where I was on the night of the murder
5. Magnesium
6. Basic human kindness -- no, wait, sex, I meant sex!

(Oops -- I didn't take this question seriously)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Out with friends, working out, watching a movie, or in deep, delicious sleep.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are 46 - 58 years old (exceptions certainly made for the right woman), you live within 100 miles of me, you are outgoing, and you want to see if we click.