From that rocky Boston harbor to the California sea
A ragged flag that says Don't Tread On Me!

I am many things. First and foremost: I am an unrepentant bibliophile and a pontificating blowhard. I am a deontological libertarian, a moral absolutist, a nerd, a geek, and often a procrastinator. I am at once a starry-eyed idealist and an unconscionable cynic. I am a glorious paradox of logic and absurdity, reason and chaos. How existential?

I am a self-taught scholar of American history, particularly with regard to the ideological origins of conflict in the Colonial and Revolutionary periods. I am also deeply interested in the "American Civil War."

I am learning to play the bagpipes. I currently suck. Badly. Really really badly. That is, I am occasionally able to bust out a complete scale in each direction, badly. Thankfully, practice chanters are FAR less annoying than the real thing, which is probably why I am still alive to type this.

I usually register as an ENTJ: Fieldmarshal on the Keirsey Bates MBTI, but sometimes I come out as an ESTJ: Supervisor, depending on my mood.

Tiocfaidh ar la!

I am a student of Austrian economics and anarcho-capitalism. I am a neo-pagan devotee of the Roman goddess Libertas. I spend many hours reading the works of Ludwig von Mises and Murray Rothbard. I also regularly listen to segments of the Lew Rockwell show and watch Stefan Molyneux's podcasts on Free Domain Radio.

If there is one thing in this world that I believe in, it is the power and virtue of human liberty.

OkCupid's Political Quiz is entirely accurate. I am a second-generation anarcho-capitalist, a free market anarchist, a voluntaryist.

I reject the ethical contradictions of any state whatsoever, the justification of which invariably reduces to: Some individuals and groups of individuals will certainly initiate aggressive unprovoked violence against others, and so we require a group of individuals invested with a legal monopoly of the initiation of aggressive unprovoked violence to guard the people against the initiation of aggressive unprovoked violence by others. Oh, and did we mention that this group would be funded exclusively through the initiation of aggressive unprovoked violence against the individuals supposedly being guarded? A more absurd and morally bankrupt proposition is difficult for me to conceive.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

I am convinced that political divisiveness ('liberalism' VS. 'conservatism') in this country is largely a result of the popular misconception that social freedoms and economic freedoms (liberty and property) are not unitary and singular, that they can be divided from one another to form two diametrically opposed political philosophies that each protect one half of individual freedom moderately well at the cost of entirely disregarding the other half.

The simple and logical reality is that there are no rights aside from property rights. All other rights either naturally and consistently derive from the basic right to property, or they are merely ephemeral fantasy.

Manus haec inimica tyrannis ense petit placidam sub libertate quietem!

I am an avid Dungeons & Dragons player; I've played since I was 7 years old, and I've been running games since I was 13. (It only recently occurred to me that this means I've been playing D&D for 20 years.) I started out playing 2nd Edition Advanced Dungeons & Dragons in 1989, and begrudgingly switched to 3rd Edition, and later happily made the jump to Edition 3.5. However, after skimming the new 4th Edition books, I seriously doubt that I'll be making the move to the new game.

I'm also a fan of White Wolf pen & paper RPG's set in the World of Darkness, especially Vampire: The Masquerade and Vampire: The Dark Ages. I haven't had the opportunity to play the latest incarnation of Vampire (The Requiem), and after perusing the sourcebook, I have very little interest in doing so. I have recently fallen in love with the Serenity RPG.

I am weird and quirky by normal standards, and at times I am nuttier than squirrel turds. I am stubborn and often bull-headed. I am a Jersey boy, born and raised in Cape May County (that's way down there in south Jersey, by the way), exit 25 on the Garden State Parkway, for those other Jerseyans. I've been told that I'm exceptionally long winded by numerous individuals, my wife most significantly.

I am a corvidophile. I have an obsession with crows, ravens, magpies, jackdaws, and pretty much all other corvids. This love may be genetic, as my six year-old daughter has told me that she wants a raven as a pet.

I am a card carrying member of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), although I am perpetually and increasingly frustrated by their antics. Nevertheless, they are a useful organization to some extent and they do some good in the world.

I am a movie geek, a music geek, a D&D geek, a random trivia geek, a firearms geek, a wiki geek, and possibly many other _________ geeks, and thanks to wikipedia and google, I am a retroactive expert on every subject known to man.

Vi veri veniversum vivus vici!

I am also known as the Irreverent Pope Ignatius Muskrat the III, Keeper of the Sacred Chao, Grand High Episkopos of the Cabal of Concerned Worms for Mayor, Bishop of the Missing Twisty-Tie, Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric (POEE), and Legionnaire of Dynamic Discord. (Or not.) I am a ULC minister, and I am here for your spiritual well-being, really. I am Genuine and Authorized, so please treat me right!

I am entitled to the following privileges, my card says so:

1 - To invoke infallibility at any time, including retroactively.
2 - To completely rework the structure of the Erisian Church.
3 - To baptize, bury, and marry (with permission of the deceased in the latter two cases)
4 - To excommunicate myself and others, to de-excommunicate myself and others, to re-excommunicate myself and others, and to de-re-excommunicate (no backsies) myself and others.
5 - To perform all rites and functions deemed to be improper to a Pope of Discordia.

Then again, every man, woman, and child on Earth is a Pope (or Mome, if you prefer) of Discordia, so I'm not much special in that regard.

I am a career U.S. Coast Guardsman, and habitually weird out my co-workers without much effort. I have sizable portions of my body covered in ink, and I am somewhat interested in breaking into the field of tattoo design and artistry at some point.

I am an unapologetic gun owner, and will never give them up. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ!

My wife tesoro_cattiva and I are in a polyamorous relationship as stated below, and we are each (individually) interested in friendship and potentially intimate relationships with other poly-friendly persons in the NJ / PA / DE / NY vicinity. If there is a *click* who knows. We discuss all such things with each other.

*** NOTE *** In the interest of clarification, this does not mean we are looking to add a third person to our existing relationship, only that we are both consensually exploring the potential for intimate (not necessarily or exclusively sexual) relationships outside of our marriage. (would it have been less complicated to say that from the start? Yes, probably...)

DISCLAIMER: All apparent arrogance, self-righteous behavior, and/or megalomaniacal tendencies are entirely for the author's amusement. Objects (especially those resembling sticks) may be residing further up your intestinal tract than they appear. No manimals, specifically beige and khaki sheeple were harmed (much) in the making of this profile. (physically, at least). A few cabbages were made into coleslaw, however.

I tell you: One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing star.

I am quixotic, liberty-loving, and tilts-at-windmills

These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated. --Thomas Paine, The Crisis, December 23rd, 1776

I've been happily married for 10 years to gaminggeekchic, and we have a nine year old daughter and a seven year old son, which delight in running us ragged.

We share a polyamorous relationship. In a nutshell, we are interested in exploring relationships (which is to say that we're not interested in one-night stands) with the knowledge and consent of all partners.

A general rule of thumb for the age bracket we interested in is: ((a / 2) + 7) <= n <= ((a - 7) * 2), where a = our age and n = the potential partner's age. In this case, at current time, it works out to a bracket of ages 23 - 48, which I feel leaves more than enough flexibility. Obviously there's some amount of bell in the curve here. The rare 23 or 48 year old that I'd be interested in is truly an exceptional outlier.

Disambiguation: None of this is intended to suggest hat either one of us are exclusively interested in finding sexual partners on this site. We are interested in friends primarily, and any thing else is secondary.

There will be no more children bursting forth from my loins. (Well, technically they didn't really burst forth from MY loins; Rather my wife's, but I'm claiming poetic license on that note.) I received a lovely vasectomy in July 2006, so I have approximately 0.01% chance of ever unintentionally contributing my genetic material towards the creation another human being. Win.

I have been in the U.S. Coast Guard for the past twelve years, which means only about 8 more before retirement, unless I decide to aim for 30 years, which I doubt will happen. No, definitely not I have been stationed in Maryland, Virginia, Alabama, New jersey (my home state) and now finally New Hampshire. (Live Free or Die, Bitches!) Update: I'm sticking around in NH for at least three more years.

If you are astute enough to detect some level of dissonance between my stated principles and my actions, you are not imagining it. I wake up each morning and deal with the question of hypocrisy created by conflict between what I believe and what I do.

I'm finally done sitting on my hands with the college education thing. I might as well take advantage of the military and get what I came in for in the first place. Plan is to take college courses online through American Military University for a Bachelor's in History and later a Masters in Military History with a focus on the American Revolution.

The plan is to eventually teach American History at the high school or even college level after I retire from military life.

Tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito.

I am trying to get tattooed at least once in every state I reside in. I semi-frequently doodle and sketch whatever pops into my head, and lately I've been doing much tattoo design. I would very much like to break into the field of actually inking real people and not just pieces of paper. As stated above, I'm interested in eventually teaching Civics, Political Philosophy, and American History (particularly Colonial & Revolutionary periods) after I retire from the Coast Guard.

After three years of procrastinating about updating my profile somewhat, I've finally been forced into a mode of self-reflection that allows me to do so, at a time when I really should be sleeping.

Pencil & ink sketching. On the subject of fine arts; Debate, logic, critical thinking, aggravating others, humility, modesty, ninja sarcasm, cooking, telling left from right, pulling random bits of useless trivia from my brain meat, free-association, stream of consciousness poetry, philosophical musings, ramblings, and the like... I often have eidetic memory, especially strings of numbers and obscure manuals. I am an expert marksman with pistols, rifles, shotguns, and also quite good with several different machine guns. There's also probably some other stuff that I'm either too lazy to list or just too humble to mention...

I am able to able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, and die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

No power in the 'Verse can stop me.

Modesty and humility are what people notice first, really. Really. They are just two of my MANY talents.

The biting sarcasm and acerbic wit come later.

Kind of like pebbles before an avalanche.

In no particular order, the Ultimate (Stream of Consciousness) List of Lou's Interests... So long, that I had to type it in Microsoft Word and use the Find & Replace function to fill in all the brackets.

A.) Books... Anything by Robert A. Heinlein, J.R.R. Tolkien, Frank Herbert, Larry Niven, Isaac Asimov, Ayn Rand, R.A. Salvatore, Ed Greenwood, Anne Rice, Stephen King, Clive Barker, Robert Anton Wilson, Timothy Leary, Hakim Bey, Robert Shea, Kerry Thornley, Gregory Hill, Friedrich Nietzsche, Claire Wolfe, C. S. Lewis,Ambrose Bierce, Dante Alighieri, John Milton, Homer, anything touching on the subject matter of Libertarianism, philosophy, Discordianism, zenarchy, minarchy, rational anarchy, post modernism, Dadaism, historical paganism, neo-paganism and reconstructionism, religion and spiritualism in general, the Revolutionary War and early America, John Adams and John Quincy Adams, and oh yeah... Dungeons & Dragons: specifically Forgotten Realms, but really any D&D book prior to 4th Edition. I'm convinced that Gary Gygax previewed 4th Ed. and immediately keeled over of an aneurysm.

Also, quite unexpectedly, I enjoyed reading the Mercy Thompson novels (Moon Called, Blood Bound, Iron Kissed, and Bone Crossed, and Silver Borne,) by Patricia Briggs.

I am currently consuming Stardust, by Neil Gaiman.

B.) Movies... Serenity, Evil Dead I & II, Army of Darkness, Tank Girl, Boondock Saints, ANYTHING Monty Python, Legend, Labyrinth, Dark Crystal, The Princess Bride, Blade Runner, Star Wars Episodes IV - VI, Red Sonja, Conan: The Adventurer, Conan: The Destroyer, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Merlin, Excalibur, The Witches of Eastwick, Heavy Metal, Donnie Darko, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, The Big Lebowski, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mars Attacks!, Apocalypse Now, Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, Tigerland, Saving Private Ryan, The Crow, Wayne's World, Clash of the Titans, Grumpy Old Men and Grumpier Old Men, UHF, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Dazed & Confused, Eric the Viking, Galaxy Quest, Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Begins, and quite possibly any new incarnations, This is Spinal Tap, The Lost Boys, From Dusk Til Dawn, Cool Hand Luke, Spaceballs, Blazing Saddles, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Young Frankenstein, and everything else from the mind of Mel Brooks, Natural Born Killers, Garden State, Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl, and any future Kevin Smith movies that may or may not materialize. This barely scratches the surface...

C.) Music... I've determined that the music list was waaaay too long, so now, if you want to know what my taste in music is like, just check out my myspace page. It has the list:

D.) Food... I'll type this later, my fingers are a little tired from making brackets.

E.) Television... Very little. Believe it or not, I can actually sit through C-SPAN programming, and I will subject myself to it on the basis that they cover exceptionally important issues, and they do so in such a way that simply depicts the news, rather than making the news. I occasionally will watch Free Speech TV for an alternate perspective (and a healthy dose of much needed dissent), but most of my time sitting in front of a television is spent watching either movies, or series on DVD. My all time favorite show is Firefly. Even though I'm not too much of a fan of his other works, Joss Whedon is nevertheless my master.

This entirely depends on one's definition of do

1.) My lovely wife tesoro_cattiva.

2.) Reading material. I am an unrepentant bibliophile. I am perpetually reading SOMETHING. If I don't have a book close at hand in the bathroom, I'll grab a shampoo bottle, or a box of tampons, or other such random item and read the packaging. Really. It could definitely be said that I'm addicted to reading.

3.) My imagination. And catma. And the Pentabarf. Those are all figments of my imagination anyway, so they count as one. (Or not?)

4.) My music. I have quite an expansive collection of CDs, currently numbering around 200, and I am ALWAYS carrying my CD wallet around. I irrationally refuse to get an mp3 player. There's no particular reason for not doing so, but I stubbornly lug my overweight book of CDs everywhere I go. ***UPDATE*** For Christmas my wife got me a Zune, so I can no longer claim mp3 player virginity.

5.) My glasses. I'm near-sighted and just about blind as a bat. Last time my vision was checked, it registered at 20/300. Ridiculously bad eyesight.

6.) There is no #6 because I don't feel obligated to play the part of OKCupid's little monkey. And the Law of Fives. Do what thou wilt shall be the Hole in the Law.

7.) There is a #7, however. Lastly and most importantly, I could not live without Liberty. Woe to any who stand in it's way. I aim to misbehave.

Sic Semper Tyrannis

The (un)reality of Descartes' hand... (Or not?)

Cogito sum ergo sum...cogito?

I think I am, therefor I am...I think?

Would D&D'ers Anonymous be a 1d12 Step Program?

"The avalanche has already started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote."

Jesus Saves. Everyone else take 10d6 damage.

I'm attacking the darkness!

"America is in an awkward state -- It is too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." --Claire Wolfe, 101 Things To Do 'Til The Revolution

"Whenever the legislators endeavour to take away and destroy the property of the people, or to reduce them to slavery under arbitrary power, they put themselves into a state of war with the people, who are thereupon absolved from any farther obedience, and are left to the common refuge which God hath provided for all men against force and violence." --John Locke, Second Treatise of Civil Government

"Alas! Power encroaches daily upon Liberty, with a success too evident; and the balance between them is almost lost. Tyranny has engrossed almost the whole earth, and striking at mankind root and branch, makes the world a slaughterhouse; and will certainly go on to destroy, till it is either destroyed itself, or, which is most likely, has left nothing else to destroy." --John Trenchard & Thomas Gordon, Cato's Letters, 1720-23

Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the Black
Tell 'em I ain't comin' back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

Not a cabbage or something.

On Fridays and Saturdays, I can often be found playing Dungeons & Dragons, Vampire: The Masquerade, or Serenity RPG. These games are occasionally interrupted by political debates.

If I'm not participating in one of the aforementioned activities, I am probably arguing with someone on the internet about philosophy, ethics, morality, government, anarchism, free-markets, and liberty.

Since I can't throw a rock without hitting someone who is wrong on the internet, this can be an exceptionally daunting task, but nevertheless it is one that I am thoroughly committed to. Duty Calls.

I interviewed the sun, he said the future's lookin' bright
I interviewed the rain, he claimed the sun's truly an asshole
I was supposed to interview the snow today but of course he flaked
So I let my frigid demeanor teeter and take his vacant place

*sound of rattling dice* The whim strikes you. Take 1d12 damage.

Welcome to the bottom of my profile. What a long strange trip it's been. Here be anthropomorphic dragons.