Things to know about me:

First of all, my name is Heather. If you've seen the movie of the same name, I'm more like a Veronica. If you haven't seen the movie, it's not required... I only saw it because it was referenced to me a bazillion times and I wanted to know what everyone was talking about.

Secondly, I'm an ESL teacher which means that I'm basically programmed to want good spelling/grammar. This doesn't mean that you have to have it, you just have to understand why I might cringe on occasion and bite my tongue frequently in public. Thankfully, I learned a long time ago that people don't appreciate having their grammar corrected.

Thirdly, I'll be up front on the whole sex thing. Yes, I like it. Yes, I want to have it. No, I'm not interested in a one night stand or a fuckbuddy relationship. I'm not on here to try to get married or anything, but I prefer to have sex with someone I know and like and will continue to have sex with for a while (hopefully at least a few months).

I'm tired of numbering, so I'll just do a few bullet points and let you get on with deciding whether or not I'm cute ;)

* I like funny, crazy, quirky, and/or geeky people. If you are all of the above, I'll probably think you're the bee's knees.

* I like to use anachronistic words and expressions (such as the bee's knees)

* I occasionally break out in big words (like anachronistic) because my brain remembers them more easily than small words. However, ESL has taught me either to rephrase things more simply or just rack my brain until I can think of the easier word.

* I'm a total foodie and would love you forever if you introduced me to cool new cuisine... or if you also liked the (occasionally weird) stuff I like

* While I'm no longer a geek in terms of employment, I'll always be a complete nerd at heart.

* I have a pretty serious case of the travel bugs, but I can not currently afford to vacation anywhere. This has me thinking of going overseas to work again, but I like my apartment too much to give it up... yet.

I'm an itinerant English teacher who hasn't itinered (ba dum ching!) in a bit over two years. I'm living and working in the GVA and going slowly insane because life is too easy in a country where I speak the language and know all of the customs. I think I'm slightly addicted to change, except when it comes to getting older. If I had a limitless supply of funds, I'd travel the world.

I don't suppose there are any independently wealthy men on here looking for a trophy wife? Anyone? Bueller?

Recently, facebook games have completely taken over my existence. This comes just after I got myself totally obsessed with hockey again for the first time in a decade and watched almost all of the playoff games. I mean, for every team. I'm trying to switch my obsessive hobby-having-ness (man, that's so not a word it's not even funny) back to painting, but without much luck. If only I could get addicted to running the way I get addicted to every other activity.

Writing, learning languages, cooking, talking to random strangers, wandering aimlessly around cities until I'm lost and then finding myself again, having strange conversations on seemingly every topic. Also, scrabble.

Judging by comments I've received in my life, probably my smile and eyes ... and my sarcasm and sense of humour.

Of course, if I'm being brutally honest, I'd say my chest... but who the hell is honest on the internet?

Basically, there are too many of each to list them all, so here is a tiny random sampling of 3 of each that is not at all representative of my entire collection. The number 3 was chosen at random and not at all because it is my favourite number.

Books: Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson, The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov (which I know makes me sound horribly pretentious but it's really just an excellent book, honestly), You Suck: A Love Story by Christopher Moore (love all of his stuff)

Movies: The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (excellently horrible), Shaun of the Dead (best romantic comedy ever), V for Vendetta (yes, the graphic novel is better but I couldn't help liking the movie)

Music: Neutral Milk Hotel, Bowling for Soup, Mazzy Star

Food: Japanese, Korean, Ethiopian, Peruvian

** y'know, reading through other people's profiles, I keep finding more books and movies and music that I like and that I think I should put in here. On the other hand, there are limitless things that I like and so putting them all here would mean a LOT of reading for you, and let's face it, this profile is pretty long already.

Given my current lifestyle, I guess I'd say... English/$language dictionary, passport, my glasses, clean underwear, my camera, and some sort of access to the internet.

I suppose I just think a lot about Life, the Universe and ... well, everything. Oh, and 42.

therefore I think.

I'm writing all of this in my underwear.

Also, I can't gargle.

You can successfully paste words together into coherent sentences. Bonus points if they are funny sentences.