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33 Sittingbourne, UK Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 5:12am
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.

My name is Mark. My skin sparkles in direct sunlight and I look exactly like Jake Gyllenhaal up close.

I've travelled the world in a tuxedo, I've fought hundreds of bad guys and I always get the girl. Unfortunately that girl always seems to end up eaten by piranhas/asphyxiated with gold paint/locked in a coffin full of snakes. So I have decided to stop stealing super villain's molls and delved into the exciting world of internet dating. Basically, I am far too shy to approach women in public unless I have knocked back a dozen or so vodka martinis so I have decided to hide behind a computer and do it.

Please ignore the above. It is mostly bollocks.

If I were to try and toot my own horn properly I would say I'm adventurous and gregarious. Usually quite easy to get on with. A little eccentric. A good egg. I give no shit so usually receive none as a consequence. I'm a bit of a Guardian reading lefty, quite passionate about equality and the environment but cynical enough to not get dreadlocks and tie myself to a tree. Not so secretly geeky with an interest in most things scientific. I have a dry/dark/surreal/silly sense of humour. Basically if you like the work of Chris Morris then we're already friends.

To summerise - I'm so fucking excellent gold dust pisses out my ears. You should date me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Sailing, taking photos of things, trying to write that novel, festivals, singing along to power ballads, fancy dress, drinking a bit too much, cooking and then eating a bit to much, going to the gym to counter the effects of eating and drinking a bit too much, bicycle riding, holidays, camping, climbing things, dinner parties, reading books, watching documentaries about a) space b) sharks c) dinosaurs, making up random crap (please see first paragraphs).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Growing beards. Getting cheap holidays. Saving old ladies with dementia from certain death. Befriending animals/children*. Pub quizzes. Getting on the wrong bus when drunk. Taking the piss.

*not in a creepy way.

**most of the time.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Tall and beardy?

Next time I'm out I'll be sure to take a survey....
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books - House of Leaves, American Psycho, The Great Gatsby, Lord of the Rings, A Clockwork Orange, Lolita, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, Lunar Park, The Kite Runner, The Life of Pi, Fight Club, Pretty much anything by Iain M. Banks or Robin Hobb if I'm needing some good old fashion escapism.

Movies - Big fan. Anything written by Charlie Kaufman. Anything directed by Darren Aronofsky (except Noah), Christopher Nolan or Stanley Kubrick. Being John Malkovich, 2001, Alien/s, Eagle vs Shark, Frank, Pi, Requiem for a Dream, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars 4-6, Akira, Most Studio Ghibli, Bladerunner, The Shining, The Dark Knight trilogy, 80's classic action movies. Really looking forward to Interstellar in a few weeks. *Update* I saw Interstellar. It was a bit wank. :(

TV - HBO and british dark comedy. The Wire, Sopranos, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, The Day Today, Spaced, Brasseye, Monkey Dust, Jaaaammmmmm, Nathan Barley, Black Mirror.

Music - Pretty much anything which isn't post 80s pop or commercial dance. Some favourites include Radiohead, Tool, The Prodigy, Fleetwood Mac, The Smashing Pumpkins, Royal Blood, QOTSA, NIN, The Beatles, The Doors, Chase and Status, Bjork, Blur, The Postal Service, Deftones, Portishead, Haim, London Grammar, Disclosure, Rudimental, Sublime, Pearl Jam, Simon and Garfunkel, Jefferson Airplane, pretty much anything with a really filthy bassline.

Food - Please put it all in my face. Thanks. Hold the blue cheese.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Apart from the obvious air, water, food etc.
Great friends
Amazing stories
My passport
Red wine fueled dinner parties
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Deep and philosophical things like the size of the universe, schrodinger's cat, existentialism and quantum cosmology.


When I'm finally going to escape the concrete jungle and disappear off to a Caribbean/Mediterranean beach for the rest of my days.


On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Gold dust does not come out of my ears.

It comes out of my bum.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like an adventure.
You want to be silly until old age.
You would rather be happy than rich. You like bizarre, abstract and often off-colour humour.
You enjoy the occasional drink or three.
You still enjoy a night out but also enjoy nights in eating home-made pies and soups and drinking cups of tea underneath a blanket.
You wish your life was a bit more like Spaced.
You would like a tall, dark, devastatingly handsome and hilarious but most of all modest guy to show off to your friends.
You have read this far and don't think I'm a tit.