Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


51 Tacoma, WA Woman


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 45–55
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 7:00pm
White, Other
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Other, and laughing about it
Graduated from Ph.D program
Has a kid
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Okay), Other (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Some bits and pieces from the bottom of the box:

Who's going to see Wilco next month? Or Bernie Sanders next weekend?

I'm a teacher and a writer who focuses on American culture, so I'm curious about everything.

Most of the time I pack a lot into every day. Sometimes I spend an entire day doing one thing (hiking, writing, running, gardening) and that singular focus is such a joy.

My tribe all seem to have a commitment to why they're on this planet. (Hello, is that you?) Maybe you do or make something you care deeply about, too. Maybe you can relate to someone who does.

Small things make me incredibly happy. I don't take much for granted.

I play well with others. Sometimes hanging out doing nothing play. Sometimes outdoorsy play. Sometimes collaboration and fun work and art play.

I have a big, loving community of family, and friends across the globe who really matter to me. So I'm here seeking someone not out of "need" but someone who is interested in something in addition to the really good life he has. Someone who shares a lust for life (hi Iggy). Someone who loves his life and wants to cross orbits and see what happens.

I'd rather spend my time in the not-virtual world with actual people. (If you like that idea, keep reading.)

Like everyone, I've got some miles on the odometer and I know where I went, why, and I have a few guesses about where I'm going. I see how those nicks and dents have shaped me. That's never a closed question, but it's one I've spent time on and it's a work in progress.

My big, messy heart has been broken and I think I get how I contributed to that. I've broken hearts. Once you've gone there with someone you really care about, you are changed in a way that can only bring self-understanding and compassion.

What attracts me? Kindness. Self-knowledge. Humor and playfulness. Honesty. Someone engaged in this world. A compassionate man with a strong sense of self. And, most importantly, a spark and a flame. (Chemistry matters. When it's right, I can be stopped in my tracks by a look, a word, a touch, a kiss.) the wind up and the pitch:
Have you seen this guy?
He's in a good place in his life: content, knows and likes himself. He's a self-possessed, smarty-pants, imaginative guy with a good heart and an occasional naughty streak, a sense of irony, strong mind, trim body, and joyful spirit. He’s figured out some stuff about himself. He likes the idea of evolving into the next part of his life.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Living: Writing, researching, teaching, running, and exploring. I'd add parenting but it involves a teenager who's self-sufficient and on his way to college across the country, so I'll be doing less of that in the day to day. But I feel lucky that I had this time with him. Being his mom has made me a better person.

Wondering: It's a crazy existence on this planet.
Laughing: It's a crazy existence in the human race.

Surprising: Maybe I've been known to greet people at the airport by doing cartwheels down the line of luggage conveyors. Maybe.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Stuff. I bet you are, too.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
A lotta sass, sizzle, and a quick laugh.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Thinking about the impact of music, film, literature, comix, graffiti, art, fashion--this is how I make my living.

Live music is my favorite and I can't get enough. Dancing seems to be an archaic ritual in the PNW, but I'm gonna bring it back to live shows. Or embarrass everyone trying.

From my eternal play lists: Clash Beck OKGo Bowie Flaming Lips Sparklehorse SuperFurry Animals Elliott Smith Elastica Queen Wilco Tindersticks Boogie Down Productions T Rex Johnny Cash Manu Chao Joe Henry Radiohead old school punk Luscious Jackson and some groove...classic Motown. Is there anything that the Staple Singers cannot make better with "I'll Take You There"? Oh, and old school rawk. Of course.

Literature, shooting from the hip: Ondaatje, Faulkner, Didion, early Doctorow, Mitchell, Hong Kingston, Melville, Kushner -- writers whose words you can roll around in your mouth. And also great sci-fi (Gibson, and books like Wool, Ready Player One). I love love love being read to in bed late at night, falling asleep to the sound of your voice, my head on your chest.

Movies: the classy kind, the crazy kind, the silly or absurd kind. From classic 1940's noir to The Godfather or Space Odyssey 2001 to Winter's Bone or The Dark Knight, I'm a fan. (Special love for documentaries.) Sometimes TV series, though I don't have cable: Sopranos, Thrones, House of Cards, Battlestar Galactica, True Detective. I'm all in for the the philosophical crazy of Rust Chole: “Most of the time I was convinced that I’d lost it. There were other times I thought I was mainlining the secret truth of the universe.”
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
growing things / my garden
air (big lungfuls on a trail run)
tea, black
bubbles - the drinkable kind and the soapy kind
the ability to exceed limits (such as 6)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How we're floating in space.
Peanut butter.
(not together. those are different thoughts)
A sinewy body running ahead of me on the trail...
How I can't remember the wet winter in the sun-soaked summer...and then i can hardly remember the dry hot summer in the long dark winter.

... how online dating is the inverse of how we notice and meet each other in person. It lacks animus. Energy. Sparkle and motion. And we find things out that aren't really the first-order indicators we use in person. It all seems backwards to me. That, and how people take years off their age or use photos 10 years out of date. What's the point??

[Random query: how in the hell does OKC come up with its 3 descriptors? I was told I read "experience, conservative, indie." Many things have been said about me, but not conservative. My 20 year old punk rock self is laughing her ass off.]
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Could be lots of things, depending on the season: making dinner with friends and my lad. Sitting by the fire with a book. Going to see a flick or a live band (dead bands are so...quiet.). Goofing in the studio. Biking to Point Defiance. Playing air hockey or pinball at Dorky's....speaking cartoon noises to the locals.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Pick one. All are true:

I secretly want to be a Formula One driver. (Not so secret if you're ridden shotgun with me...)

When it comes to attraction, being in shape matters. (Extra points if you run trails or play volleyball and can throw down a mean game of pepper.) I'd like to hang out with someone for whom being active is part of a lifestyle.

I'm one of those people who wakes up happy. And it seems that attracts depressives. I try to empathize, but it's hard given my disposition. Having really tried to be close to someone(s) who suffers from depression, I have learned that it's a challenge that I may fail.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like words and thoughts and are willing to write some.
You got this far, are in range (Puget Sound-ish), and you feel like it.