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swamp_dragon

34 F Sacramento, CA

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 20–100
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Jan 19
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Full figured
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on masters program
Job
Student
Income
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
[OK Cupid managed to score one and found me another asexual woman for me to make googly eyes at, so right now I'm only looking for friends. But if y'all are down with that and want to chat then, y'know, say so.]

[Also, 99% matches EXIST, people. Never give up, never surrender.]

Paranoia and delusions of grandeur, all in one package. Or, as my best friend puts it: DO YOU LIKE A CHALLENGE.

~I suffer from dysthymia, social anxiety disorder, panic attacks, agoraphobia and PTSD.
~I identify as a panromantic asexual and that's right, we're not gonna be getting it on either IRL or online, no matter which gender you are or what sort of genitals you currently have.
~Other than that, I've been told I'm pretty awesome.

OK, look, here's the thing: I'm basically a big ol' spaz. I'm shy and don't like to leave the house without a companion (evening perambulations around the neighborhood don't count. It's complicated.). While some might refer to me as 'crazy', I prefer the term 'mentally-hilarious'. I'm on medication to regulate the old brain chemicals, so honestly, unless something goes very wrong, you're probably not going to have to deal with the more emotional aspects, like constant crying and such. But I still might have a panic attack if we're somewhere crowded or stressful, and I might not always be feeling up to going out. When I DO go out, however, I try and make the most of it.

I also get distracted easily, which is why I've been working on this stupid thing for more than 3 hours now [update: oh, hey, it's the next day now. Whoopsie].

I am a firm believer in loving the ones you're with. I'm open-minded about most things, and care way more about personality than I do about looks or money or whatever else society tends to think are crucial issues for relationships, whether platonic or not. If you want someone who will love you for you, then I'm your big, squishy, mentally-hilarious gal.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm very busy at the moment as I live the high-flyin' life of the unemployed grad student, wooooo. I'm working on becoming a primary-school teacher as I am a bossy know-it-all.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Insulting myself, making terrible jokes, and spelling. No, I'm not a grammar Nazi. Yes, you better know the difference between 'there', 'their' and 'they're'. I mean, dude, c'mon.

I'm good at listening to others' problems and trying to find a solution.

I'm a fair artist with pencils, and can knit and crochet as well. I'm also really good at gluing stuff to other stuff, and may have been a barnacle in a past life.

I'm awesome at organizing and filing, and am a champ at customer service (look, all those years in telephonic hell paid off!).

I'm usually pretty good at finding ways to explain ideas and concepts in a different way so that people who are struggling can grasp them.

(.....Can you tell I'm reaching for good qualities? Because I totally am. Maybe I should have a friend write this for me instead...?)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I really have no idea. Possibly the boobs, possibly the ass. Actually, for all I know they might've looked at my face, in which case I'm so very sorry for them.

After that, however, I think (or perhaps am paranoid) that the first thing they notice is my mouth. My front teeth are chipped and my lip is scarred from a nasty fall I took in the tub last year. It's probably not helped that my mom has taken to calling me Snaggletooth.

Then they might notice the talking. I have two settings: off and on. And believe me, when I am on, I am on. Most of my friends have learned to treat it as a sort of white noise.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
(The more I see the prompt "fill me out!", the dirtier I feel about inserting text into these boxes.)

I like fantasy and sci-fi; I like movies where a bunch of shit blows up; I'll listen to any kind of music aside from hardcore rap, jazz, and some types of country; and I like food that goes in my mouth. (It tastes even better if it's free.)

Oh, I'm sorry, you want some specific examples? Caaaan do!

Books: Terry Pratchett, Stephanie Plum, Marjorie Liu (although she's a friend so I'm totally biased), Rob Thurman, Jim Butcher, J.R.R. Tolkien, Dean Koontz (don't judge me!), Stephen King, Brian Jacques (I SAID DON'T JUDGE ME DAMMIT), Harry Potter and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I also read a good amount of nonfiction, usually of the science or historical sort. I used to read comic books and still have all mine, but it's been about 10 years so I don't know that they really count any more.

Movies: Princess Bride (also a fave book), Labyrinth, Tank Girl (yes, I know, so far I have all the cinematic taste of a teenage girl), Star Wars (the proper ones), the Die Hard trilogy (the pseudo-tech in the 4th one makes me cry too hard to enjoy it), The Expendables 1 & 2, the Rambo series (dude, I told you I like to see shit blow up), Tremors 1 & 2 (::makes stupid sound of glee::), Avengers and Mel Brooks' entire oeuvre.

Shows: Joss Whedon FTW, Doctor Who (new and classic), British panel shows like Mock The Week and QI, Mitchell & Webb, Miranda, Star Trek DS9 (you're still not judging me, right?), nature and science documentaries, Grimm, Warehouse 13 and Person of Interest. And I have watched every episode of Mayday multiple times because fuck you, that's why.

Music: Too much to fully list, so let's go with Queen, Amanda Palmer (both Dresden Dolls and solo), Adele, Poison, Reba, Martina McBride, Coolio (the old stuff), Jamelia, John Cougar Mellencamp, Connie Francis, Meatloaf and Air Supply (now THAT you can judge me on).

Food: Not a meat fan and I'm lactose intolerant, so it's usually veggies all the way. Oh, and I love sweets and bad things like whoa. GUESS WHY I'M FAT.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Half-Life, all of them
My Terry Pratchett collection
Um... ::looks around:: Shit, I don't know. Anything that falls on Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs.
Oh, hey, cats.
My iPod? Is that six yet? No? Well fuck.
.....
Oh! Oh! SWEARING! Swearing, to me, is very necessary. It is the spice with which to enliven the curry pot of speech.....
.....
.....Ooookay, I can't believe I just typed that, but I'll let it stand as it is an excellent example of the nonsense that comes out my mouth.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Random shit.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Doing the same thing I do every night, Pinky. Sitting in my armchair playing a video game or watching TV. Do I know how to live or what?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once ran over a dog on my bicycle and instead of stopping I kept going and then I didn't go down that street for years because I was so embarrassed and couldn't bear to find out if the doggie got hurt. (I was 8.) Also I still sleep with a stuffed animal. (I'm 33.)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You need someone you can count on to care about you and your own issues or problems. Or, y'know, if you just want to talk about gaming or Doctor Who or something and none of your other friends are around.