I'm a writer, not just a person who writes.

Things I love: art and artists, music, honesty, thought-provoking conversation, respect, information, memories, Halloween, nature, my favorite colors (pink and black), vanilla- and lemon-scented things, the stars, and a well-written character-oriented speculative fiction book.

Things I do: Write novels/short stories/poetry/nonsense, bake/cook, draw pencil art and comics, play DDR (which is Dance Dance Revolution, a dancing video game), work on my Web page, plant flowers/herbs, edit, arrange my hair in silly ways, organize information obsessively, wear two different colored socks, and talk a little too much.

Things I am: A WRITER, an artist, an eclectic atheistic solitary Pagan [figure that one out!], a childlike (not childish) soul, an open book, a grammar/spelling nut, a soprano, a 70s baby, a woman of small stature, a blue-eyed light-skinned girl with long blonde hair, an avid reader, a vegetarian, a daughter, a sister, a polyphasic sleeper, and an asexual.

Please give me a minute to explain "asexual" since this is primarily a dating site and my indication that I am "bisexual" above may be confusing you. I am attracted to both sexes the same, which is NOT AT ALL. OKC does not give me a better choice, so I chose "bisexual" because I don't think "straight" should be a default or something. It's not like people are heterosexual until proven gay. . . . Asexuality is a sexual orientation of "no," not "no sexual orientation." It means I have never been sexually attracted to anyone, and I am not trying to change this.

I promise I don't want to make my lack of interest in sex/dating into the point of this profile, but this is important if you are combing my profile to see if I'm romantically compatible with you and I don't want to be accused of leading you on or wasting your time (well, or mine!). I joined this site originally for the tests and stayed because the community is fun and the matches really do work for my friendships. Since OKC allows you to tick boxes that say what you're here for and NOT include romance, it's safe to say I'm "allowed" to be here for that, thank you.

So, I've said it: I am not looking for any romantic relationships. Please only message me for friendship and pen pals. I don't mind talking about it if you have questions, and I won't bite your head off at all if you don't understand, but if you want to talk about it, please do it with an open mind. For more information on asexuality and my take on it, read my essay about it on my site, swankivy.com. (That's a link.)

You can also watch me talk about it on my YouTube series on Asexuality. You could say getting some recognition for this widely misunderstood orientation is one of my many causes. But it's only one thing about who I am, and I'm only sticking it in here so prominently because it comes up so often on a site like this. Sorry for the rambling.

And even though the people who need to read this probably won't get this far, please note that since the moron quotient has gone through the roof lately, I have to get this on record.

PLEASE DO NOT MESSAGE ME if you are one of the following:
1. A person who is planning to propose an intimate relationship with me without reading past the first paragraph of my profile.
2. A person who plans to hit on me with what you think is a clever cut-and-paste.
3. A person who automatically thinks I am here for whatever reason they are and treats me like I'm guilty of false advertising when they find they are mistaken.
4. A bisexual couple so desperate to find a lady to join them in a threesome that they aren't even reading profiles anymore.

No, you don't have to read the whole thing and do a book report on it, but YES I DO EXPECT YOU TO CARE WHAT I'VE WRITTEN IN THIS PROFILE IF YOU WANT TO HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH ME WHATSOEVER, and yes, I CAN tell when your first message to me is a form letter, so don't do it. With that said, I will return you to your regularly scheduled profile. Ahem.

About my creativity:

The first thing you should probably know about me is that I am a producer much more than I am a consumer. I mean this mainly in an intellectual way, but it extends to everything I do. Writing is very, very important to me, and if given the chance I will create rather than browse someone else's creation. Though of course being a creator requires that one consumes as well.

I'm what I call a "binge" writer; I don't have a regular writing schedule of any kind, but when an idea grabs me and I decide it's time to write it, I do little else until it's done. (For a frame of reference, I once wrote a 155,000-word novel in 2 weeks, and once wrote a 255,000-word novel in 5 weeks.) If I am in writing mode, I may go under for a while and you'll only know why I disappeared off the face of the Earth once I surface and tell you so, but it doesn't happen THAT often.

I also love to sing, and majored in music for a while when I was in college. (Click this link to hear a clip of me singing "Adia" by Sarah McLachlan RIGHT NOW, or watch my new music video on YouTube! Plug plug!) I'm a karaoke fan and if hard pressed I can write a song once in a while, but I'm not good at that really. It's just a hobby, while the writing thing is part of my identity more than anything.

About my crazy wordiness:

I am NOT a concise person. Character limits are my enemy. Sorry I ramble so much. I also think that in my attempts to be understood I have made my profile seem stodgy and, I dunno, crusty and crotchety. Please don't let the way I talk give you the wrong idea--I love being precise and comprehensive with my vocabulary, but it seems to make some people think I'm no fun. I guess you'll have to take my word for it that I'm not an overly serious whiner.

I've said I'm a creative person, but that becomes REALLY obvious when you talk to me or meet me. I am easily excited by silly things, enjoy doing kid stuff like jumping on the bed or eating the cookie dough, and I sing all the time. I'm a fan of pigtails, and will probably be disproportionately excited over something silly like a sparkly sticker. I'm not the kind of person who thinks drinking is necessary to have a good time, but I find a lot of people think that means I "don't know how to have fun." Au contraire! The important thing is that I don't NEED any substances to loosen me up or make me act like I'm any fun. And even though I seem to talk a lot about highbrow junk on here, I promise you that I will probably laugh just as hard at a stupid movie or a joke about poop. Yeah, I'm still about six years old.

If you'd like to see the sarcastic, silly side of me, you could always check out my rants or my essays on my site, or even the nonsense page to find out what it's like inside my brain when I'm in a goofy mood.

Er, and . . . as you might've noticed, I'm NOT one of those people who says "Oh, I really hate writing about myself. I never know what to put in these things." I'm the opposite--I want people to know everything if they find it interesting, and I have very little to hide. I have EVERYTHING to say!

About my interaction with you:

I respond to just about every message I receive. If I don't respond, it was probably either an abusive/dirty message or a non sequitur. Sometimes there is some lag in my response time, but don't get discouraged if I don't write you back right away. If you wrote me a thoughtful and/or polite greeting, you will receive respect and attention from me.

I do NOT, however, tend to do anything with "winks" or "stalks" on this site. Please don't be offended if I don't rate you on QuickMatch (I don't play with that, sorry), "stalk" you back if you stalked me, or answer a woo. I do expect a personal message, but it doesn't have to be a work of art. It just has to be honest and personalized--do not mail me the same letter you just sent to someone else or treat our possible contact/friendship like it is a job application with pre-determined qualities of what you're "looking for." And I really don't mind if you like my picture and want to send me compliments, but unless you really expect us to hit it off based on a conversation about what I look like, it needs to be more than that. Otherwise, seriously, just save my photo and look at it instead of pretending we have something to talk about.

I love to interact and hear others' thoughts on my thoughts, and I love to give my thoughts on others' thoughts. People have frequently described me (and being around me) as "refreshing." I listen, ponder, and communicate in ways other people are not used to experiencing. I was once told by a new friend that talking to me felt like an oasis after months of desert. What I gather from this is that personal communication is in a sorry state if my acts of honestly listening and honestly reacting feel like a breath of fresh air to so many people. That said, if you approach me honestly, you will receive an honest and open reply. I am an open book that can be read on several levels.

I appreciate humor. I like many different styles of it, but I don't like when people can't laugh or if they take themselves too seriously. I have met too many people who have to be treated with kid gloves to avoid offense, and I have no place for that in my life. If I hurt you accidentally and you treat me like I did it on purpose, you need to get over yourself . . . or just go stand in that corner over there and sulk about how nobody understands you. I'm willing to understand if you want to help me do so, but expecting me to root out the answer just to see if I care enough is a sign that we're not meant to be friends. I don't want to be friends with someone who repeatedly tests me because s/he WANTS everyone to fail.

Curse words--even very disgusting ones--are okay with me, so don't censor yourself in private messages to me if you don't want to. That said, I think it's disrespectful to assume everyone's okay with it, so I keep my language irreverent but relatively clean until or unless I know I don't have to, especially in public and/or around children.

I am likely to be able to see layers of motivation in your actions. I don't make assumptions or voice my observations or view everyone pessimistically, but for better or for worse you can expect me to understand you better than you're used to being understood. In general I still want you to give me the words when we talk--I want to know that you have expressed your feelings and it is now okay for me to react to them outwardly--but it is probably only fair to let you know that lying to me will immediately diminish my respect for you (and I WILL notice). That said, I still manage to see the best in people, and I react partly to who they want to be as well as who they are. I'm idealistic, optimistic, and "too" forgiving when it comes to other people, and sometimes this leads me to put up with more b.s. than I should. Truthfully, though, I don't think I'd have it any other way.

Some philosophy on relationships and love:

I don't believe in looking for "the one." Every person who becomes important to me becomes so without my having had the slightest expectation beforehand nor the tiniest attempt to guide the relationship anywhere beyond what is natural. In that sense, everyone I meet is "the one" in the exact sense that each person is who he or she is meant to be to me. But--most likely because I'm asexual, as mentioned above--no one has ever struck me as a person I want to be romantic with or a person I want to have a lifelong domestic partnership with (though of course I have lifelong friendships that are deep and rewarding on many levels). The romance aspect has just never been there with anyone, ever.

I really hope nobody ever writes to me and tells me how sad it is that that's the case. It's not sad whatsoever. I'm not "missing" anything and am not less than a whole person due to not having and not wanting a significant other, though I'm not actively opposed to finding such a thing. This is very hard for most people to understand, but please accept that I'm not incomplete before you send me a message expecting that you'll complete me. I'm starting to get a little tired of people thinking I don't understand love because I don't have sexual attraction to the people I love. They demote my depth of feeling to "puppy love" or "just friends" because there's no urge to go to bed. If you're going to talk to me, don't ever insult me by putting "just" in front of "friends" or expect that a romantic relationship is automatically deeper and more mature than anything I can fathom. Understand that every healthy relationship is a complement, not a completion. And I have dozens of relationships that complement me in hundreds of ways. If you can't imagine this, I'm tempted to be the one to say to YOU "Wow, that's kinda sad." A person should at least attempt to be complete before getting his or her life tangled up in someone else's. You owe it to each other and to yourself.

Editors

• Fanged_pout

Job-wise, I work as a secretary and do editing for a living. My full-time job and freelance career are but the tip of the iceberg.

As you may have figured out by now, I do spend a lot of my life seriously devoted to writing and trying to get my stuff into the market (currently looking for a literary agent). I have composed seven novels and have three in progress (and one I'll never finish). And tons of short stories. I make Web pages that in part feature these stories and tons of other junk.

I also spend a lot of time working on my online comic, Negative One. It's a fantasy/drama type comic drawn in realistic pencil sketches. I've been drawing it once a week since May 2005. I can't emphasize enough how much my writing represents ME, and eventually I'd hope that anyone who comes to care about me (or wants to get an idea of who I am) would read at least some of my writing. But of course reading something I wrote is not a prerequisite to messaging me. :)

I make Web pages like there's no tomorrow. I've had a personal Web site since 1998, and am now undergoing the arduous task of moving the entire thing to swankivy.com. Of course, I'm trying to give everything a facelift as I do it, and redesign everything so it doesn't LOOK like it was made in 1998. I'm not much of a Web designer--I do everything in Notepad with hard-coding--but there's a certain kinda old-school charm to that, I guess.

Socially, I'm constantly busy with friends, obligations, online life, and creativity. You might want to make a note that if you become one of my friends, you might have to take a number to get on my calendar. (Heh, just kidding, but kinda not.)

Creative ventures, writing, singing, art, baking, DDR, and being there for my friends.

Get to know my activities better by looking at some links, if you want. I don't want to clutter up this profile with repetitive information when you can find it elsewhere if you're really interested.

To understand more about my daily life: See my LiveJournal.

To see some of my writing: My writing page.

To hear my singing: My Web page for sound files.

To see my art: My webcomic, Negative One, or my general doodles page, or my DeviantArt account.

For some of my baking: See my recipes page.

Watch me do various things, serious and silly, on YouTube: Tune In to Channel SwankiVY.

And my main page is here. For the last ten years the site was built on AOL, but they just shut down their whole program, and large parts of my page have not moved to their new home yet. The front page is really bare but most of the important content is there. Please be patient with me. ;)

Depends on what they look for, but physically I imagine people notice the copious amounts of blonde stuff hanging off my head and my pixy-like qualities. (Yeah, but I don't need to go into detail since you can see the pictures.) I'm short (yes, less than five feet!) and kind of look like a kid. No one ever believes I'm in my thirties, but yes, those are recent photos. Also, I sing a lot, so they might notice my voice before they see me.

And in text-based media, the first thing people notice is that I TYPE IN COMPLETE SENTENCES (what a concept!) with correct punctuation and nigh-perfect spelling. If you can find a typo, a misused word, or a grammar mistake that ISN'T the result of just being informal, then . . . well, here's a cookie! (Seriously, I will bake you one. I'm good at it.)

I know a lot of people skip this section, but I find it's a good way to figure out what you have in common with people. Feel free to scroll past if you want, and humor me.

(a) Favorite books. Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker books). Richard Adams (Watership Down). K. A. Applegate (Animorphs). Francesca Lia Block (Dangerous Angels and others). Vanna Bonta (Flight). Ann Brashares (Traveling Pants books). Charlotte Brontë (Jane Eyre). Emily Brontë (Wuthering Heights). Octavia E. Butler (Patternist series and Xenogenesis series). Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower). Eoin Colfer (Artemis Fowl series). Scott Cunningham (Pagan-related instruction books). Roald Dahl (all his kids' books). Richard Dawkins (all science and skepticism books). Diane Duane (Young Wizards series). Lois Duncan (most young adult fiction). Katherine Dunn (Geek Love). Garth Ennis (Preacher graphic novels). Jeffrey Eugenides (Middlesex). Usamaru Furuya (Short Cuts manga). Neil Gaiman (Sandman comics and adult fantasy novels). Arthur Golden (Memoirs of a Geisha). Steven Gould (Jumper). Shannon Hale (Books of Bayern series and Book of a Thousand Days). Alex Haley (Roots). Sam Harris (The End of Faith and Letter to a Christian Nation). Pete Hautman (Godless). Stephen Hawking (all science books). Robert Heinlein (Stranger in a Strange Land). Joseph Heller (Catch-22). Carl Hiaasen (all adult and kids' books). Eva Ibbotson (Which Witch?). Riichiro Inagaki and Yusuke Murata (Eyeshield 21 manga). Ken Kesey (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest). Daniel Keyes (Flowers for Algernon). Sue Monk Kidd (The Secret Life of Bees). Stephen King (On Writing, Firestarter, The Shining, Carrie, The Stand, and the Gunslinger series, though I haven't read the whole thing). Barbara Kingsolver (The Poisonwood Bible). John Knowles (A Separate Peace). Nancy Kress (Beggars in Spain). Wally Lamb (I Know This Much Is True). Gail Carson Levine (Ella Enchanted). David Levithan (Boy Meets Boy). Gregory Maguire (Wicked and all adult novels). Yann Martel (Life of Pi). George R.R. Martin (Wild Cards). Edain McCoy (The Sabbats and other Pagan instructional material). Eloise McGraw (The Moorchild). Keith Miller (The Book of Flying). Christopher Moore (Lamb and others). Jaclyn Moriarty (The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie). John Novak (How to Meditate). Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club and others). Julie Anne Peters (Luna and all her books). Rodman Philbrick (Freak the Mighty). Dav Pilkey (Captain Underpants series). Daniel Pinkwater (Young Adult Novel). Philip Pullman (His Dark Materials series). Daniel Quinn (Ishmael). Wilson Rawls (Where the Red Fern Grows). Louise Rennison (Georgia Nicolson books). Mike Resnick (Will the Last Person to Leave the Planet Please Shut Off the Sun?). Spider Robinson (Callahan books and all others). Linda Rosenkrantz and Pamela Satran (baby-naming books). J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter series). Louis Sachar (Holes, There's a Boy in the Girls' Bathroom, other kids' books). J.D. Salinger (Catcher in the Rye). R.A. Salvatore (Dark Elf trilogy). Eric Schlosser (Fast Food Nation). William Shakespeare (Hamlet). Shel Silverstein (The Missing Piece Meets the Big O). Dan Simmons (The Hollow Man). Carla Sinclair and Mark Frauenfelder (The Happy Mutant Handbook). William Sleator (all kids' books). Lemony Snicket (A Series of Unfortunate Events). Jerry Spinelli (Milkweed, Stargirl). Ivan Stang (SubGenius literature). Tom Stoppard (Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead). Patricia Telesco (Paganism guides). J.R.R. Tolkien (Lord of the Rings). Lynne Truss (Eats, Shoots & Leaves). Jhonen Vasquez (JTHM, Squee, and I Feel Sick). Joan D. Vinge (Cat series). Rebecca Wells (Ya-Ya Sisterhood books). Edith Wharton (Ethan Frome). Elie Wiesel (Night). G. Clifton Wisler (the kids' series about the character Scott). Timothy Zahn (A Coming of Age). Paul Zindel (The Pigman).

(b) Favorite Movies. Adaptation., Amélie, Anastasia, Anchorman, Arise!, BASEketball, Beetlejuice, Being John Malkovich, Benny & Joon, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, The Birdcage, The Brave Little Toaster, The Breakfast Club, Brokeback Mountain, Chasing Amy, Chicago, Clerks, Clerks II, A Clockwork Orange, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged), Contact, Dancer in the Dark, Dead Poets Society, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Dogma, Dragon Half, Drop Dead Fred, Dune, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Far and Away, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Fiddler on the Roof, The Fifth Element, Fight Club, Finding Nemo, Forbidden Zone, Galaxy Quest, The God Who Wasn't There, The Green Mile, Groundhog Day, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Hobbit, I Married a Strange Person, The Incredibles, Into the Woods, Jeffrey, Jerry Springer: The Opera, Juno, Kiki's Delivery Service, Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, The Last Unicorn, A League of Their Own, The Legend of Bagger Vance, Life of Brian, Lilo & Stitch, Little Shop of Horrors, Lord of the Dance, Lord of the Rings, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, Mallrats, Man of La Mancha, The Meaning of Life, Memoirs of a Geisha, Monsters, Inc., Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Moulin Rouge!, Mr. Holland's Opus, Mulan, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, The NeverEnding Story, Newsies, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Office Space, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Orgazmo, Phantom of the Opera, Phenomenon, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Point, Project A-ko, Rain Man, Rat Race, Read or Die, Robin Hood (Disney), Rocky Horror Picture Show, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, Saving Private Ryan, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Stranger Than Fiction, Swing Kids, Sweeney Todd, Talladega Nights, Tank Girl, Team America, Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny, To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar, The Tune, 12 Monkeys, UHF, Unbreakable, V for Vendetta, Waiting . . ., Watership Down, Waterworld, Wizards, X-Men, and Zoolander.

(c) Favorite Music. Ween, TMBG, Suzanne Vega, For Squirrels, Tori Amos, Ookla the Mok, Moxy Früvous, Björk, Kate Bush, Poe, Belly, Frente!, The Breeders, Blind Melon, Edie Brickell, 4 Non Blondes, The Cranberries, Dar Williams, Ani DiFranco, Indigo Girls, Tracy Chapman, Madonna, Alanis Morissette, Sinéad O'Connor, Sarah McLachlan, Cyndi Lauper, Phil Collins, R.E.M., MC Chris, George Clinton, Simon and Garfunkel, Queen, The Doors, Fleetwood Mac, Heart, Moody Blues, Jethro Tull, Enya, Loreena McKennitt, Mediæval Bæbes, David Lanz & Paul Speer, Adiemus, Benjamin Britten, Gabriel Fauré, Beethoven, Bach, Debussy, Mozart, John Rutter, Blümchen, t.A.T.u., The Residents, KLF, Negativland, Enigma, Jan Hammer, Era, Max Raabe, Tenacious D, Arrogant Worms, Weird Al, Bloodhound Gang, Dr. Demento, Stephen Lynch, Adam Sandler, Wesley Willis, Philip Riley & Jayne Elleson, Annwn, Seven 13, Gypsy, Gwydion Pendderwen, Moving Breath, Avalon Rising, Michelle Mays, Dreamtrybe, Kenny Klein, Kathy Mar, and . . . musicals like Man of La Mancha, Jekyll & Hyde, Les Misérables, Rent, Chess, Fiddler on the Roof, Little Shop, Chicago, Rocky Horror, Phantom, Into the Woods, Wicked, and Avenue Q.

(d) Favorite Foods. Apples, apricots (dried), artichokes, bagels, bananas, Boca vegetarian products, uncooked bread dough, broccoli, brownies, Cadbury Creme Eggs, most kinds of cake, cantaloupe, caramel, Caramello Bars, cardamom, carrots, cauliflower, cheese in general, Chinese food, chocolate, coffee, uncooked cookie dough, cookie dough ice cream, corn, Diet Coke, edamame, egg drop soup, eggnog, eggroll wrappers (yes, just the wrapper!), eggs, french fries, Goldfish crackers, granola bars, grape juice, grapes, grapefruit, grapefruit juice, anything green-apple flavored, grilled cheese sandwiches, home-baked cookies, homemade bread, hot chocolate, Japanese food, jellybeans (I actually like the cheapie ones better than Jelly Bellies, but I like both), Jolt Cola, Laughing Cow Cheese, Lemonheads, lemons, licorice, lo mein, macaroni and cheese, Mandarin oranges, Milky Way Candy Bars, mint chocolate chip ice cream, mints, Morningstar Farms vegetarian products (if you want to know why I'm a vegetarian, help yourself to that info), mushrooms, mushroom soup, Nerds, oatmeal, orange juice, pancakes, pasta, peanut butter, peanuts, Pez, pie (lemon meringue, key lime, apple), pineapple, Pixy Stix, pizza, pomegranates, popcorn, popsicles (I like orange creamsicles and chocolate tofu pops), anything with potatoes, pretzels, Pringles, pudding (tapioca, vanilla, butterscotch), quiche, Ranch dip, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, salad, shribble soup, Slush Puppies (Blue Raspberry flavor), shortbread, soy milk, Spaghetti-O's, Starburst, strawberries, stroopwafels, vegetarian sushi, sweet pickles, SweetTarts, Swiss cheese, tofu, tomato soup, Twix Bars, vanilla ice cream, Velveeta cheese, waffles, Wheat Thins, and white chocolate. Yes, my list of favorite foods is alphabetical. Yes, I agree that I am a little bit scary because of this.

We'll assume the basics like air and food and stuff are covered, because there's no reason to ask a question like this and then have a person list what they biologically need to survive. What they really want to know here is what are six things that are really, really important to you. Here are mine.

My computer/Internet access.
Art supplies.
Books.
Music.
Attention/An audience.
Communication and love from the people I care about most.

Mostly writing and various creative b.s., but sometimes social junk crops up. I'm not a big fan of drama, but I am often surrounded by it. When I'm actually involved in a writing project--actively creating a novel or story--I will be VERY, very into it and won't think about much else.

I am by default a happy person, and I find that this is actually unusual. My happiness depends on me, and it comes from within me, and when I am NOT happy it is usually because I can't help someone else with their UNhappiness and it's destroying my mood. I have a steady core of stable, immovable happiness as the center of my life, and it is because I am *enhanced by*, not completed by, other people. I think often about how to get people to share this so they can also be happy. I also think about how ironic it is that due to my sexual orientation I'm always being told how I'll "never be happy" by people whose lives are wrecks . . . as if they know. I'm a living example of how to be happy, for crying out loud! But you don't have to do WHAT I do to be happy--you just have to do it HOW I do it, depending on yourself for happiness.

Yup, that occupies my mind.

If I'm with a friend, sometimes we go out to eat or watch movies or I go on vacation. But I'm usually trying to finish up my online comic, which goes up on Fridays, and I'm very dedicated to that so if someone wants my Friday night they have to tell me ahead of time so I can put the comic up Friday morning. ;)

I fear both success and failure.

You find my statements and answers refreshing and interesting and match some of them yourself and want to talk about it. Also, you should message me if you fit most of my 21 Things. To explain, Alanis Morissette wrote a song called "21 Things I Want in a Lover." Since I don't take lovers, this is a bit different, so I call it "21 Things SwankiVY Wants in a Close-Relationship-Of-Any-Kind." It is a bit lengthy and is posted on my site in the personal essays section. I won't clutter the profile with such a long document, but if you are intrigued by this point, you might want to read it and give me YOUR 21 Things someday.

Unless you are abusive, you will always receive a response from me if you message me. If you don't, chances are I actually didn't receive the message. So give it a try and maybe you'll look back in a year wondering what you would have done without me. ::snort::

You should NOT message me if:

Please, please, don't message me if you are trying to propose a romantic relationship. If you do so, I will know you didn't read this profile, and I will probably be very disappointed in you--and furthermore I WILL tell you off. THIS MEANS YOU, you people who paste what you think is an all-purpose "ladies-man" message to any girl in your area, or you bisexual couples who think that because I'm listed as "bisexual" I will probably want to join you. Read the damn profile. (I'm wasting my breath. The people who need to hear this won't get this far, which is why I had to stick it in the beginning.)

I am not saying a romantic relationship is completely impossible for me--that would be a dogmatic statement and a suggestion that I know the future. But I reached my thirties with no faint glimmer of romantic or sexual attraction to other people (despite perfectly ordinary social ability), and I don't "expect" that it will happen. Therefore, I "expect" that you respect this, and do NOT open interactions with me AIMING to be the exception. If you are, you won't have to force me. But do not assume there is one. I can see it easily if your attitude includes that misconception.

And you should definitely message me if you got to the end of this profile and you're bursting with things to talk about. :) Hope to see you in my inbox and in my life.