If your last date thought that foreplay is a half hour of begging before slipping off your shoes, or that an enjoyable rendezvous is one void of tension and chock full of sucking up—you’ve come to the right place for help...

I’m a cocky bastard, and a smartass extraordinaire. I’m not self centered, but I always succeed. I’ve dated more women than half the men on this site combined. I specialize in bringing out the best in others. I understand how women think better than most women do. I’m not looking for petty drama, or emotional hysterics, but I’m truly aware of a woman’s need to vent without judgment and pointless advice to follow.

You can find me at a local bar telling jokes, or at a black-tie event discussing finance.
You can follow me into a haunted house or into a Cessna at 5000 AGL.
You can even take me home to mom—if you don’t mind the competition…

I’m enjoying the single life right now, but I’m open to a relationship with the right woman. You should know I’m very picky. I have a thing for brunettes, but my longest relationship was with a blonde. I’ve dated girls taller than me, and far shorter. I’ve been seen with women I could pick up with one arm, and women who could tackle me. I’ve been with women as classy as can be, and women in need of frequent spankings. I’m very picky. I long for chemistry and feistiness.

One of my favorite things to do is take out a feisty girl, especially for the first time! I love to get into an argument and get just a little bit angry. And when the tension is greatest, and the moment is just right—I long to shove a girl up against a wall, reach my hand up through the back of her hair and give it a real firm pull. And just when she starts to tremble and lets out a little gasp—I give her a tiny bite on the neck…

You and I both know this is the kind of passion you’ve been longing for…don’t go to the next profile—that guy’s a loser, I saw him on America’s Most Wanted! Click the message button right now, and tell me about yourself!

Making meatheads run away with their tail between their legs.

Taking candy away from my little cousins, who have huge sweet tooths.

Generally upsetting the FAA.

Convincing scleractinians (look it up) to have sexy time.

Putting copious amounts of butterflies in your stomach...

I can change from being dead serious to completely ridiculous in a split second.

I'm usually the first one to break up an awkward silence with laughter!

Heat, Collateral, Black Rain, Chinatown, Internal Affairs, Casino Royale, Predator

I've met more women in grocery stores than bars...

I also like mustard...a lot. And hot sauce too. Usually not together...

You're a feisty little girl!