Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

swivellives

48 M New Orleans, LA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:28pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English, Albanian

Similar Users

My self-summary
I'm a hybrid of NOLA native and transplant. I've got six generations of roots in New Orleans; grew up on the North Shore; lived 13 years in the Balkans (seven in Kosovo, four in Macedonia, two in Albania); and now I'm the only white guy on my street in the 8th Ward. I came home kicking and screaming three years ago but have fallen head over heels in love with the city.

I like joy-riding the Algiers Ferry; checking out pop-up restaurants; taking pictures of insects, snakes, sunsets and swamps; hiking; biking; listening to live music; and hanging out with my teenage kids.

I'm a total sucker for a compliment.

I have terminal ADD.

I have a clunker car so bad that I rarely dare to cross the river with it and never the lake. I prefer to get around by bicycle and bus. If you're from out of town and you're going to be in NOLA, I might be willing to show you around and hang out and have some fun and possibly hook up. But if you want to be candidate for a more serious relationship, then you've got to be a resident of Orleans Parish.

One more thing: In the interest of full disclosure, you should probably know that I'm the worst dancer in the world. I grew up fundamentalist, and it was a sin to dance. But that was a convenient cover for me because I was too socially awkward and physically uncoordinated to want to dance anyhow. If 48 isn't too late, I'm ready to learn if somebody brave and patient wants to try to teach me.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to be a damn good dad. Showing off the city and sharing its stories and secrets. Driving a mule carriage for a living and a pedicab for fun, exercise, and all the nice comments I get on my calves.
I’m really good at
- Photography: I've had a few photos published, including a couple in National Geographic Traveler.

- Languages: I speak Albanian fluently (a great party trick!) and the southern Slavic languages (Bulgarian, Macedonian, Serbian, etc.) badly. Used to speak good Spanish, but I'm pretty rusty.

- Telling stories: See the St. Bernard story below. And ask me to tell you the one about the governor's daughter's iguana.

- Making moussaka. My moussaka is so good that a single taste has the potential to make girls fall hopelessly in love with me. But it's a LOT OF WORK, so I won't cook it for you unless I've decided that I really want you to fall in love with me.
The first things people usually notice about me
My calves and my blue eyes. Also that I'm super smart, but that may in fact be an optical illusion produced by my heavy-framed glasses.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: The Avett Brothers; Buddy and Julie Miller; Tom Waits; Johnny Cash; Awolnation; John Prine; Vigilantes of Love; Old Crow Medicine Show; Mark Heard; Alabama Shakes; Regina Spektor; Lucinda Williams; Wilco; The Revivalists; Trombone Shorty; Kermit Ruffins; Dire Straits; Lost Bayou Ramblers; Feufollet; Zydepunks; Sabri Fejzullahu; Dervish Shaqa... Also I'm going to say Nina Simone just because all the cool girls seem to be big Nina Simone fans.

Shows: I LOVE Radiolab and This American Life. Television is not my thing really. I have a TV that my son uses for video games, but it doesn't have a working antenna or cable connection. If you like watching TV I don't mind sitting next to you to cuddle and make out during commercials.

Movies: I haven't seen as many movies as most folks because I generally find it hard to sit still all the way through a movie. The ones that make my list tend to have a heavy dose of offbeat, often sophomoric humor: Down by Law; Life is Beautiful; The Princess Bride; O Brother Where Art Thou?; The Gods Must Be Crazy; The Grand Budapest Hotel.

Books: Broken April and many others by Ismail Kadare; the Lord of the Rings series; the Hitchhiker's Guide series; non-fiction about New Orleans history and culture, particularly those by Ned Sublette and Richard Campanella; David Sedaris, Davy Rothbart and other memoirs like that; Leif Enger; Michael Chabon; Jeanette Winterson.

Food: My mama used to say that I'd eat anything that didn't eat me first. I would describe my preferred diet as pretty much anything that isn't healthy. I drive the pedicab partly so that I can get away with stuffing myself on oyster po-boys, muffulettas, boiled crawfish, and gumbo. I'm always looking for new items to add to the list of strange and exotic foods I've eaten: tongue taco; century egg; scrambled eggs and squirrel brains; pig ear sandwich; fried rattlesnake; jellyfish salad; goat liver; etc. My 13 years in the Southeastern Europe have left me with a special fondness for Balkan cuisine: ajvar, shopksa salad, moussaka, tarator, byrek, etc. Oh yeah, and marshmallow cream! I can eat a whole jar of that stuff straight!
The six things I could never do without
- My two teenaged kids.
- My three amazing sisters.
- My bicycle.
- My camera.
- My laptop.
-Ok, that's five. Umm, let's see... Dunno. Maybe I'll end up meeting someone on this site that I won't be able to do without.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
War and peace. Not the Tolstoy book. I've never read it, actually. I mean violence and its causes and whether or not its ever justified. I know that I'm sounding really pompous here, but I really have thought about this stuff a lot ever since I was a kid.

And sex. Of course. I'm a guy. (I don't read the male profiles, but are there any guys who could honestly answer this question without mentioning sex? Oh yeah, and as far as I'm concerned, 500 bonus points to any woman who lists "sex" as an answer to this question!)
On a typical Friday night I am
Browsing the Frenchmen St. Art Market or going to a concert or eating at a popup restaurant or watching an improv comedy show or going to a concert. But sometimes I'm sitting at home and wishing I was doing those things. And sometimes I'm working a double.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once got raped by a Saint Bernard. Not a "Chalmatian" from St. Bernard Parish but an actual Saint Bernard canine.

My dad was a preacher, and he used to take me with him sometimes when he went out visiting people. So we went to this one house, and they had this little poodle, which apparently was in heat, and she was jumping on me, begging to be petted.

Then we left there and went to a trailer park. There was this massive Saint Bernard who had been lying under a truck in a puddle of oil. Evidently he picked up the scent of that poodle, and he jumped on my back and started humping.

I was just a kid and hadn't yet learned the facts of life. I thought the dog was going to eat me up. I couldn't stand up under his weight, so I was dragging myself along the ground with this dog rocking and riding on my back. My dad was terrified to intervene, not knowing how this huge horny beast might react to losing his lover. Finally I made it to the car. My dad opened the door, and I wriggled out of the Saint Bernard's embrace and crawled inside. The dog was trying to get into the car with me, but my dad slammed the door and almost took off his nose.

And if you like that story, you should ask me to tell you the one about the governor's daughter's iguana.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–55
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
...you really want to hear the story about the governor's daughter and the iguana.