A summary of self: Age 1: I cried a lot, mother called me Regan Age 2: Barely started to walk, was too lazy Age 3: Began decade long mental and physical torture on younger brother Age 4: Preschool. First crush on white boy. Shy girl. Teacher's loved me. Bloody noses everyday Age 5: Kindergarten. First bee sting, jump rope queen, had bite mark from brother and went home. Age 6: Became more disliked. Was mexican didn't speak spanish. Ugly, smart but withdrawn Age 7: I think everything poignant happened at this age. First started testing for gifted... failed by a couple points every time, every year. Realized i hated school Age 8: Sticker collection obssession Age 9: Discovered oldies first music i liked Age 10: Finally stood up for myself, was somewhat popular Age 11: First best friend made by myself, not from mother. Went on kid's show Age 12: Lutheran High. Hated school again. Withdrawn. Got fat for first time ever Age 13: Got pnemonia. Learned that skinny rocks. Dressed funky, was weird and crazy. Age 14: Got period finally. stayed at grammas a lot. Age 15: Moved to colorado. Too depressed. missed everyone. Fell for a guy on visit back that would alter my entire life. moved back Age 16: The drug/eating disorder/major depression/obssession stage. Shaved head Age 17: Pretty for the first time. Guys liked me. School rocked. Got drunk and played video games all the time. Lost virginity to white power guy. went downhill... Age 18: suicide attempt. big tweaker stage Age 19: guy i liked for 4 years wanted me Age 20: Got pregnant Age 21: Father took son, I went crazy and was momma drama Age 22: Turned a new leaf. Grew up moved on Age 23: RELAPSE! then good again Age 24: drunken debauchery and another suicide attempt Age 25: worst year of my life. panic attacks, and stupid shit. lost all friends

NOW I'M GETTING INTO ALL THE SHIT I ALWAYS WANTED TO, NOT DRINKING AND PRAYING TO GOD I'LL GET MY LIFE TOGETHER SO I DON'T DIE.

not much but a whole lot. writing, but not much. burning cds. taking classes then dropping them. getting fat. not doing the basic shit i need to. reading a lot i love toni morrison, sylvia plath and others. right now im trying to commit to something or at least picking something to commit to. my therapist or whatever the fuck she is told me to. oh yes and im currently trying to learn spanish again, even though the tools im using translates into english very questionably. That's my commitment thing, since its too hot to commit to a work out, and im too hungry to eat healthy lol

writing, being unliked, creating grudges in other people, being on the computer, not sticking to my commitments, party planning, being the hype girl most likely to have the least fun.

my scars

BOOKS: Toni morrison shit, The unbearable lightness of being, Catcher in the Rye, Queen of the Damned, The Bell Jar, Fragile Things, Smoke and Mirrors, Burned, Girl interrupted, Wuthering Heights

MOVIES: SPEED RACER!, Happy Feet, Monster, Solaris, Juno, Spanglish, Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, A river runs through it, El Norte, Love Actually, About a Boy, Great Expectations, Dogma, Possession, Sylvia,Seven, Pride and Prejudice, Lost in Translation, In good Company, King Kong, Walk the Line, Freeway, To DIe FOr, Gladiator, The Insider, LA Confidential, AMerican Beuty, Kill Bill, Frida, Banditas, Vanilla Sky, Good Will Hunting, The Aviator, Blood Diamond, Basketball Diaries, Marvin's Room, Catch me if you can, Saving Private Ryan, The Talented Mr Ripley, FOrrest Gump, Big, Dances with Wolves, The HOURS, THe piano, Thirteen, Forty year old Virgin, etc.

food sleep showers water books internet

stuff and boys and me son and his father and what pisses me off and how to let it go. and chocolate. lol just kidding but when im pmsing i do

doing stuff or nothing at all. i like to eat or watch movies i love watching movies at home my fave thing to do forev.

i said stopped eating cows for a year, but secretly ate them twice...
another private thing is i used to hate mexicans and white people at two different times, and i am half and half those races. hahaha but everyone knows that cuz im such a dildo/douche nozzle

u are interesting and can spark my match and you want a wtf report. please dont woo me i just erase those.