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40 M San Leandro, CA

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 30–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Strictly other
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of university
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Might want kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
*******completely totally and utterly polysaturated*******

Polyamorous since 2002
I'm not a newb
If you are poly check out my mandatory match questions and answer them. Should help your matches.

If you aren't poly answer them anyway and maybe fewer poly people will bother you. Also if you include the word poly in your profile lots of poly people will find you even it it says you don't want poly. Keywords are funny that way. Poly poly poly :-)

Also check out the new non-monogamy social site. Still in beta but has potential.

I have three relationships. BettyBaker, Suzsteppingup, and another long distance relationship with someone who doesn't have a profile here. I am oogly googly flat on my face in love with all of them and would not have it any other way.

It is absolutely mandatory that anyone that I am seeing meet my other partners and that I meet theirs. If you can't bring yourself to do this, I suggest avoiding polyamory altogether.

I have no interest in play parties, swinging, polyfuckery, or any other form of nsa sex. To be perfectly honest I can be very awesome in bed but only after I've bonded with the person I'm with. I usually make a very lousy one night stand.

One of my sweeties once gave me an award (back when OKC had them) saying that I am full of surprises. It made me realise something about myself. I'm not very forthcoming with info. It's not that I am a secretive person I just don't think to mention these things unless they come up. One good example was that one of my partners is a music teacher. It took over a year before I revealed that I knew something about music theory.


I am a reckless gambler with my heart. I believe that anyone who avoids love to prevent getting hurt probably just hasn't been hurt enough.

"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness."
-Bertrand Russell

I am Wise, Foolish, and Mostly Harmless
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Finding more love than I ever thought any one person could ever have.

Caregiving is my preferred vocation with a special interest in hospice. I consider it an honor to be there to close someone's eyes for them when they cross over.

8/24/14 - I'm at the bedside of my client of 3 years. We're in the hospital and I think this may be the end.

I particularly enjoy hiking, camping, and archery. Oooh! and hot springs it's been too long.

Much of my life I live with the flow of things, like a ship at sea. You can't change the winds or the tides, but you can adjust your sails.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Tempting fate.
Staying out of trouble.
Getting into trouble.
Slipping through the cracks.
Inciting rebellion.
Keeping the peace.
Seeing both sides.
Taking leaps of faith.
Falling on my face.
Getting up and taking that same leap again.
Random acts of kindness.
Being wise for the sake of practicality.
Being foolish because it is so much more fun.
Flinging arrows at targets.
Caring for the elderly.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Either that I am a human road flare of an extrovert or that I am so introverted that I am nearly invisible. Sometimes I can exert control over it and other times I totally lose it.

I look deeply into people, I try to see through their facades and find the good in everyone. It makes people uncomfortable sometimes but I am one of the least judgmental people you can meet*. I remember first meeting someone who actually told me, "Hey, quit looking at my soul."

*After some introspection sadly I feel an asterisk is necessary. I've befriended ex cons from violent crimes, and I've sat in alleys drinking with homeless while evading police. However I've been learning to admit that I have limitations.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This is always the longest part of a profile and also the part that no one really cares about so I think I'll skip this.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Considering I once lived in a tent in a forest without much electricity as a caretaker, I realize that there is a lot I can do without. I would probably make an excellent monk if it were not for the celibacy involved. However life is more fun when you have a little more than the basic Maslow stuff.

- Love, lots of it in many different guises.
- Exciting plans or prospects.
- A tranquil home to escape to.
- Whimsy and general harmless mayhem.
- Trees and other green growing things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Life and Love.
Fun things to do.
My sweeties.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
When I am not out with one of my awesome girlfriends I am probably poking around on the internet or playing a game. A great deal of my day is downtime, so I am often reading something either online or in a book.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I was in my twenties in college I was a self destructive, gothy, metal, punk who was always having an emotional crisis over being lonely our having my heart broken again.

One of the best friends I ever had was a middle aged lesbian who gave me a great deal of advice and support. She used to be a guard in a jail and she told me about an inmate who was in horrible emotional pain. He had cut himself up and was completely inconsolable. He died in that jail, not from any physical trauma but from the emotional pain.

My friend was very much afraid for me. It's been a long time since I've been that person, I tend to bounce back a little better after being hurt so many times. But the pain of heartbreak is something I still suffer in this poly life of mine.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
While love is an unlimited resource, time on the other hand is not :-(

- You understand what is involved in ethical non-monogamy
(poly for keyword searches)
- You are looking for real, deep love and aren't into casual empty sex.
- You are interested in knowing more about me.
- You have any questions about Polyamory or Paganism.
- We keep running into each others profiles over and over.