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40 San Leandro, CA Cis Man

Cis Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 30–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Straight, Demisexual
Hispanic / Latin, White
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Strictly other
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of university
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Might want kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
❤ Polyamorous since 2002 (Emphasis on the AMOROUS)
I am not a newb ❤

I'm part nerd, part hippie dippie new ager, part hillbilly, with some punk added in. I can be super irreverent, hope that's okay.

I've been playing with the new and different gender and orientation options. I'm literally on the fence about being demisexual. It seems to imply being somewhere towards asexual. However I'm VERY sexual, it just has to be with the right people. I really don't perform well unless I'm feeling emotionally safe.

I have a partnership with Suzsteppingup and a long distance relationship with someone who doesn't have a profile here because she was horrified by all the terrible messages she received. (This is why we can't have nice things!) I am oogly googly flat on my face in love with both of them and would not have it any other way.

I pretty much fail at hierarchical polyamory, I can't imagine anyone that I love being secondary.

It is absolutely mandatory that anyone that I am seeing meet my other partners and that I meet theirs. If you can't bring yourself to do this, I suggest avoiding polyamory altogether.

I am starting to realize that I am a very rare breed of poly male.

I do have a strong spiritual leaning, however I keep it to myself unless asked about it. Then I strain to use words to describe it.

There is this new term the kids are using a lot these days. GGG, I had to Google it. Yes, I'm that. However I draw the line at pain.

The other interesting key term that's been surfacing is Relationship Anarchy. I'm not entirely sure what that means but it sounds like a good thing to me as long as it's not just a euphemism for Relationship Nihilism.

Once when I was a kid I snuck up on a feral cat while he was sleeping and started scratching him between the ears. The kitty was in utter bliss until he opened his eyes, then he ran away.

I can pet bees.

I am ENFP or INFP, the champion or the healer. I guess I can't make up my mind

Enneagram type 2, the helper.

My love language is touch.

I like to say that I am a reckless gambler with my heart. However there are a few circumstances where I've shied away because I was almost guaranteed to be devastated. When my heart breaks, it breaks hard.

I've experienced this before:

I believe that anyone who avoids love to prevent getting hurt probably just hasn't been hurt enough.

When faced with a dilemma it is not unusual for me to analyse it from every conceivable angle, try to imagine every possible ramification, deem a certain course of action severely unwise, then do it anyway.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
💘 Finding more love than I ever thought any one person could ever have.

Caregiving is my preferred vocation with a special interest in hospice. I consider it an honor to be there to close someone's eyes for them when they cross over.

I particularly enjoy hiking, camping, Yoga, and archery. Oooh! and hot springs it's been too long.

🌳 My sweeties got me a new pair of hiking boots for Christmas. I need to break these in!

🔥 I miss campfires that throw sparks up into the night sky and mingle with the stars. I used to thrive on this magick.

⛵ Much of my life I live with the flow of things, like a ship at sea. You can't change the winds or the tides, but you can adjust your sails.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
💀 I'm your go-to guy in the case of a zombie apocalypse.

🌟 Cuddling.
🌟 Listening.
🌟 Litotes.
🌟 Admitting when I'm wrong.
🌟 Tempting fate.
🌟 Staying out of trouble.
🌟 Getting into trouble.
🌟 Slipping through the cracks.
🌟 Inciting rebellion.
🌟 Keeping the peace.
🌟 Seeing both sides.
🌟 Remaining calm while being yelled at in a fight.
🌟 Taking leaps of faith.
🌟 Falling on my face.
🌟 Getting up and taking that same leap again.
🌟 Random acts of kindness.
🌟 Teaching inappropriate things to toddlers.
🌟 Being wise for the sake of practicality.
🌟 Being foolish because it is so much more fun.
🌟 Putting holes in inanimate objects from far away.
🌟 Caring for the elderly.
🌟 Rotating my owl for science.
🌟 Throwing mezcal bottles while driving a car and flipping the bird with both hands.

🌟 Bracing myself, closing my eyes, and telling myself "This is going to hurt" then jumping in with both feet.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Either that I am a human road flare of an extrovert or that I am so introverted that I am nearly invisible. Sometimes I can exert control over it and other times I totally lose it.

I look deeply into people, I try to see through their facades and find the good in everyone. It makes people uncomfortable sometimes but I am one of the least judgmental people you can meet. I remember first meeting someone who actually told me, "Hey, quit looking at my soul." 👀
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This is always the longest part of a profile and also the part that no one really cares about so I'll keep this short.

📚 S.M. Stirling, Neal Gaiman, Charles De Lint

🎶 Black Flag, Beats Antique, Johnny Cash

🎥 Before Sunrise, Waking Life, Tolkien

📺 Game of Thrones, Firefly, Archer

🍕 Mexican, Indian, Pizza

If you are interested, you can read my yelp reviews, some of them are amusing.

I'm still waiting to get a message that says, "You like Game of Thrones! Me too! We should totally have sex"
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Considering I once lived in a tent in a forest without much electricity as a caretaker, I realize that there is a lot I can do without. I would probably make an excellent monk if it were not for the celibacy involved. However life is more fun when you have a little more than the basic Maslow stuff.

🌟 Love, lots of it in many different guises.
🌟 Exciting plans or prospects.
🌟 A tranquil home to escape to.
🌟 Celebratory gunfire.
🌟 Really inappropriate humor.
🌟 Whimsy and general harmless mayhem.
🌟 Trees and other green growing things.
🌟 Cuddling.
🌟 Swype's new emoji
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I have been considering having a garbage sale. I would put up signs and everything just like a garage sale but I bet few people would notice the extra letter b in the middle of the word. They can come by the house to find bags a garbage for sale. Hmm... maybe for a charity?

What it would take to surreptitiously crop dust the coastal hills of California with milkweed seeds. Indiscriminate distribution across all lands public and private. We would need several planes and a lot of seed and people who could fly. However it would have to be kept quiet or someone would pull some legal BS to stop it. Even if it would most likely save the monarch butterfly from extinction.

This is how my brain likes to solve problems. I'm not much for demonstrations and picket signs.

Why do so many people leave the relationship type category blank? You know, it's kinda important. 😨
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
WooHoo! I'm finally off a 12 hour shift! Time to rock out with my 😴 Zzzzzzzz
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My heart is broken open.

Heartbreak shut it down decades ago.
Years later I tried to let people in again.
And was hurt over and over at every turn.
I kept closing myself and hiding in a dark place.
I almost didn't survive it.
Then I met someone who I was sure would be forever.
Once again my heart was broken
This time was different.
I didn't close down.
I didn't hide.
My heart remains open
The pain of heartbreak is still very real.
But I no longer fear it.

My heart is open, broken open, and open it shall always remain.

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." -Kahil Gibran The Prophet
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I'm hoping for something that develops deep and long term. I'm looking for chosen family.

I prefer that you already have other partners who are also good at poly. However I will still consider the right polywog or newbie.

🌟You understand what is involved in ethical non-monogamy (poly for keyword searches)
🌟 You are interested in knowing more about me.
🌟 You have any questions about Polyamory
🌟 We keep running into each others profiles over and over.
🌟 If this is you

References available upon request