The Story So Far:

The death of his poodle Victory, the companion of many years, has left Percival Hart in a state of agitated despair. He now paces the streets of Kendal Park looking for things to bite and snarling. He has also taken to wearing his hair in a perm and secreting large quantities of carpet fluff in his trouser turn-ups and cuffs. While Dr. Heine confidently predicts recovery within weeks, his friends have taken to shunning him, throwing sticks for him to fetch and darting into corners whenever he comes near.

Jeremy has fled the country, leaving behind him only an air of mystery and a locked warehouse full of cabbages.

In a moment of ill-considered spendthrift excess, Lady Gastleigh has had her teeth framed. She is reduced permanently to a liquid diet; her physician, finding a gallon drum of gin in her wardrobe, wonders if this may have been the entire point.

Hubert remains baffling.

Cynthia, bewitching but neglected due to her reclusive lifestyle, tries to make new friends through an introduction service, but is put off by her only correspondent's curious preoccupation with feet and retreats further into her eremitic shell.

A misplaced sense of duty and five pounds of cascara have moved Gerald, at great speed, to return home and reason with his brother over the question of the eggs. They are reconciled but no solution is found to the problem. Still, as they conclude, the best laid plans of mice and hens gang aft agley. Now think on't, dot dot dot.

Syndee is unable to remember which of her boyfriends asked her to retrieve his prescription. Hilarious medical complications ensue.

Now read on ....

I do music here: Fake Teak

Many of the questions on this site seem to make unspoken assumptions about things that prevent me answering them, so don't believe in the numbers too closely.

Doing a PhD in information theory and graph theory, playing bass in two bands, one of which has a song on that rightmove advert with the woman running through the houses (really true), doing consulting work on climate change and writing a comedy script themed around global thermonuclear war. Drawing very silly pictures and, astonishingly, helping win BAFTAs with them (also really true). Browsing the net for band histories.

My friend Alex and I are planning to become the world's first gonzo mathematicians by writing a paper called "Fear and Loathing in Voter Models", driving to a conference in a fast convertible, and presenting said paper in a truly savage fashion.

Figuring things out very fast, remembering useless information, playing bass and balancing. HTML. Mathematics. Line-graphics. Cartoons. Multiple parentheses in conversations (although to the impatient, these simply appear to be tangents).

My Prince impersonation or my shirt.

To Kill A Mockingbird, At Swim-Two-Birds, The Third Policeman, Breakfast Of Champions, Billy Liar, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, Withnail And I, On The Waterfront, The Kinks, The Who, The Beatles, Jefferson Airplane, Radiohead, Lights Run Riot, The Long Slide, poulet au vinaigre, macadamia nut pancakes, cheese soufflé ....

Music, friendship, fruit juice, my bass, my ARP Odyssey, and my computer.

Songwriting. Very old synthesizers, very old computers, ways to build synthesizers out of very old computers, UNIBUS, programming in octal. Stand-up and sketch comedy. Stand-up and sketch tragedy. How to get to sleep ....

Playing a gig.

I am mostly made of water. Don't tell the potassium-robots.

You aren't a slave to any of the received wisdoms, or if you are funny or nice or really want to.