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taco_incident

30 M Palo Alto, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Jul 15
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
If there isn't a dog wearing sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt at my funeral, I went through life without anyone ever truly knowing me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm originally from Orange County. I majored in poli sci at Stanford because I was too lazy to study economics. I work for one of the big Web companies, which is cool in the sense that it enables the rest of my life and has let me live in a couple of other cities for a while (London and Dublin), but it's just a job. I spend most of my time and energy writing, working out, performing the occasional standup show, and deconstructing (read: making fun of) other people's relationships.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
seeing over things, eating contests
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm pretty tall (6'2"), which makes it difficult to hide behind my mom's leg in social situations. Also I had a mohawk for a while.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Food:
-In-N-Out, barbecue and soul food (Lillie Mae's in Santa Clara is awesome), taquerias (Chavez Supermercado is my favorite, but this is open to debate), sushi, breakfast cereal

Music:
-All over the place. Lots of rap: '90s G-funk (Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, Snoop), and more recent stuff (Andre Nickatina, E-40, Too Short, Jurassic 5, Tech N9ne)
-Other stuff: Nine Inch Nails, Metallica, Rage, Pantera, Tool, A Perfect Circle, Throwdown, Sublime, Daft Punk, MSTRKRFT, AC/DC

Movies:
American History X, American Psycho, No Country for Old Men, The Big Lebowski, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Snatch, Fight Club, Predator, Commando, Bloodsport, various terrible romantic comedies

TV:
The Wire, Arrested Development, 30 Rock, Mad Men, Jeopardy!, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Curb Your Enthusiasm, SportsCenter (constantly on in the background of whatever I'm doing)

Books:
-Jarhead
-The Wave: In Pursuit of the Rogues, Freaks and Giants of the Ocean
-Going Up the River: Travels in a Prison Nation
-How I Became a Famous Novelist
-Moneyball
-Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong
-A Fighter's Heart: One Man's Journey Through the World of Fighting
-Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other Bedroom Battles
-The World Without Us
-The Beach
-This Boy's Life
-Anything by Tim Cahill, Ted Conover, Bill Bryson, or David Sedaris; and any Calvin and Hobbes book. I mostly read travel writing, books about standup comedy, and super depressing nonfiction about American history and/or economics.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
breakfast cereal
a power cage
the company of dogs
the internet
the internet
the internet
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
politics, comedy, sports (Giants, Chargers, Stanford football and basketball), rap lyrics from the mid-'90s, boobs
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
-Watching an awful romantic comedy with my girlfriend and a huge bag of dried mangos and/or fruit snacks, then breaking down the depressing messages that movies like that send to young women, or
-Eating shredded chicken burritos and Otter Pops and playing poker with my friends
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and no idea where I'll be in five years. Like, none.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman with a sense of humor who can debate the merits and flaws of the nickel defense, who understands the deep personal bond that sex creates, and who has flawless skin that would look great on my robot. (Even then, I'm not looking.)