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tactileslut

43 Oakland, CA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 26–62
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Dec 14
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
Height
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Drugs
Religion
Sign
Education
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently), C++ (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I try to write with decent spelling and grammar but I've been writing a lot recently on my phone's screen. When Swype and the OkCupid text boxes combine the result often makes no sense. Bizarre wrong words scroll off the edge of the screen before I've even finished typing them and spaces become periods, commas and BBBs. I don't know why Swype's developers have such a love for pongee and the BBB when "one" and "period-space" are much more likely what the user wanted.

Try to read what I meant rather than what's on the page.

Let's put this right at the top where I can find it: my comments. (or yours, if you are not me.)

[ Hey, look: a broken link. ]

I'm going to have to start using a bookmark instead of that link. Whenever I check out my own profile OK-C seems to presume I'm in the mood to troll for men and shows me many more of the swarthier sex.

I don't expect you to read and memorize everything I write here or elsewhere. Please don't expect me to have all your details down pat either. I'm more likely to remember that you write well or that you bring up interesting topics or present a well developed viewpoint than the exact pillars of a particular argument.

2004: Communications geek, often more fascinated with the tech than the message it carries. Message? Content? Intro? Trusting I can edit that later I'll press submit (again) now.

2006: Roughly two years later the text remains substantially the same. I press it again.

2008: I should add that I've been browsing OK-Cupid less, recently. Site revisions have made it a browser-killer and when I leave a profile open for a few days my OS spends more time swapping than running anything. Combine that with my habit of sprinkling new tabs like playing cards and OK-C just doesn't work on my machine. Replies will be slow.

2009: The following paragraph was lifted from grandaddy, whose listed city is about 90 minutes from here at a brisk walk.

I dislike dating people who want to run away to places all over the map for months at a time. I don't have any money to go with you. Wanderlust completes some but I find it unsustainable. I like adventures close to home. If you need to travel, I'll probably be scared away.

2010: Travelers whose lengthy adventures tend to bring them *here* and who are welcoming and affectionate in various settings are a welcome exception to the above.

2010-May: I'm going through some personal trouble this month and probably next. Intense breech of trust. Not currently approachable. If I don't already know you please don't make first contact today. If I *do* already know you, quiet time not alone would be helpful.

2011-Jan: I might be approachable again. Don't ask for nouns but verbs are available.

I had a nice update to this bit typed in a month or so ago but the McDonalds wifi splash page ate it.

I am creatively wired, innocently oblivious, and highly touchable
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Odd question. The things I enjoy are not necessarily the ones I'm best at doing. The things I do well are not necessarily the ones I enjoy most. Yes, there are a few at the positive end of both scales.

I'm fairly good at soldering surface mount components by hand, recycling leftovers (in the kitchen and the workshop), giving a massage, troubleshooting electronics, tickling software bugs, amusing myself, getting distracted, laying out circuit boards, organizing data, accepting loss of control and at recognizing and reproducing sounds.

On this pitch test I scored 0.9 Hz (at 500 Hz, 0.18%) on the first try. For reference a semitone is about 5.9%, making my score about a 30th of a semitone or 3-4 cents.

When I'm happy I sing, usually following the bassline or the melody.

It works the other way around too: happy -> singing and singing -> happy. Usually. Vocal music has become an important part of my weekly routine again.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
In this forum? People notice that I've just changed something or posted something.

I noticed tonight, for instance, that profiles only appear in the results of an unchanged search if they include the words okcupid and search. And you noticed me noticing that. Exciting, no? Now scroll up and try better keywords.

One might notice that I'm always shown here as online. The phone and the IM client I sometimes leave open do that. I do have some time away from the keyboard and the site. I promise. Believe it or else.

Really what people, notice both here and in person, has little to do with the subject. It's more dependent on the setting and the demons or flowers in the observer's head.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
air, shelter, water, food and a sense of purpose. A WC and a shower are pretty damned helpful too. Look up Maslow for the rest of the list.

After that it's all about human contact and enabling the same. Income, financial conduits, the Internet and transportation are just tools to feed my loves of music and touch.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Hysteresis in financial confidence. The news programs report the relative overall cash flow, calling it consumer confidence. The same applies on an individual level. Confidence influences spending more than availability of funds. Dollars represent options and, when enough options are present, some will be exercised. Exercising them may or may not bring more. If not, the need to preserve remaining options kicks in, inhibiting money based problem solving for a while. I find changes in spending behavior lag quite a bit behind changes in purchasing power.

Secure packing. Does this thing I just put in the truck have a way to fall to the left, right, front or back? If the driver jumps a curb will it survive the bounce? What if he slams on the brakes or parks with the nose facing up a San Francisco grade?

Simplifying life by cutting loose various things. I've had too many projects on the workbench for too many years and, right now, don't even have a workbench. (almost . . . I'm working on that next)

Motives and how so many people take action without thinking, often working against their stated and intended goals.

Wireless IP networking. Connectivity is important.

Miscommunication, how to avoid it and how to recognize it, how to find humor in it and more recently how to encourage others to do the same. That last bit is challenging me.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
human. Friday is like any other day ending in 'y'.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is on a public profile on a server not managed by me.

Alright. I don't consider these private but you might.

I have a strong dislike of visible nose and ear hair on the face in my mirror (the thick kind. Peachfuzz is fine.)

I keep a mostly full beard yet shave at least daily.

The most frequently used bookmark on my phone for its first year or two was okcupid/home. So said Browser.

I like my body. For intimate relationships it would be nice if you liked my body too. Even more important is that you like your own or are sufficiently comfortable in your skin that you don't need constant verbal reassurance about it.

People who project onto me so strongly as to feel the need to tell me whether I like something or how I feel turn me right off.

I am influenced, attracted and distracted by sound. I'll notice the squealing power supply in the sleeping laser printer. I'll notice the auto level adjustment on your fancy phone, the dynamic range compression of your favorite radio station and the tiny rocks and grains of sand bouncing around on your rear deck car speakers. I will be aware the song is being sung out of tune. On a more personal level I may be more aware of how loudly you're speaking than of what you are trying to convey.

These things are also not private. <- that's a link. If you're using the app or the mobile version of the site then links are missing. There's a link near the bottom marked "Use full site" to fix that.

Touch matters. A lot. See? Not private at all. It's in my username even.

The section below is still misleading. Dating carries more baggage than I intend, but I'm also not looking for craigslist/cas.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you met me somewhere, or think I look familiar.

OR (read, between each paragraph, "or" not "and")

you have something (even a little something) to say.

You share my distaste for the use of 'message' as a verb in the header above.

We share an interest or two: (in no particular order) circuitry, cuddling, consensual nonmonogamy, touch, pretty clothes, hygiene, singing (karaoke, choir, in the shower, in storm drains, in the car), photography, petite women, rhps, lust.

You want a to extend an invitation to visit on some as yet unplanned road trip.

You operate the Essex tub or have a gate code for it.

You're awesome.

You have something to say right-right-right-now! If your phone can write to tactile@textfree.us you can get instant messages to me there. Maybe. I'm less happy with Pinger than before, since I installed it on the computer and it wiped out its message history on the phone.

You have an understanding of NVC and can talk about turnons without the conversation itself being a turnoff. Bonus points if that's a skill you can impart.

cribbed from erosindelicate (who has since vanished):
I have to confess, I’m not a big fan of a prolonged email communication phase. If after exchanging a few emails we both seem intrigued, I would hope we can meet in person fairly soon to find out whether there’s any chemistry before we invest too much time and energy.

I do reply to most messages, though not always quickly. Sometimes very slowly. Minutes to years. My unread message count is usually four.

[2010-April] Ok, guys: "'I'm horny" and "nice ass" do not count as a little something to say. Unless you're hot.

[2013-Oct] The coders at OkCupid finally killed the journals. It's no longer a nifty feature you can get indoctrinated into, a grandfathered part of the profile or really in existence at all.

Without forum comments, which stopped appearing a year or so ago, or interesting journal excerpts and comments appearing on my homepage anymore this site is very unlikely to hold my attention. I won't tune in to see your profile updates or answer stream. I won't notice you unless you actually write to me. If curious, don't rely on the stalker list or other such passive channels. Click the "message him" button.

Or just quietly slink away, like you do from all the hotties you pass in the offline world. Pattern break.

[2013-Jun] The header above will probably still say "available" but for the moment my dance cards are as full as I'd like them to be. One of them is more full than I thought possible and I'm feeling spoiled and giddy and wonderful. If I've piqued your interest feel free to write and to pursue but without urgency, please.

[2014-May] Seriously? The only interest I've attracted recently has been from people paid by an ethics professor to trigger my SO's insecurities? I can't make this stuff up. WTF, Cupid.