Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
A few things:
I'm inexorably drawn to smiles, especially those that make me smile
back. So much so, that I may stalk your profile just to look at
your smile. On the other hand, I almost never send messages on this
site. It's a numbers game, and I'm not playing. So if you notice me
repeatedly viewing your profile, but not messaging, it's 'cause I
dig your profile but have no intention of shouting along with the
mob. If you catch me stalking and want to talk, say so. It's the
21st century, and women who make the first move are sexy.
We now return to your regularly scheduled profile...
I've been on this site forever and I've never taken it
I'm not about to start now.
More about me:
My whole life has been, for lack of a better word, weird.
My father is 3rd gen Lebanese from Boston. He served for 30+ years
in the US military. He fully buys into shit like "The Secret" and
the "Laws of Attraction," and constantly pushes it on me. If they
had let him, his dog tags would have marked his religion as
My mother is an all-American Irish mutt from rural Oklahoma. She's
a conservative fundamentalist Christian who's worked for the
Salvation Army in one capacity or another since the dawn of
When I was 21, my father and I had this conversation:
Me: Dad, was I adopted?
Dad: No. Why do you ask?
Me: 'Cause I've been thinking about it, and I can't figure out how
you and my mother got along well enough to fuck.
Dad: (after laughing hysterically for several minutes) Yeah. Me,
When these two intelligent, if absurd, humans divorced, they
decided to share custody of me by trading me off each school year.
Long story short: I not only relocated every August until I was 14,
but utterly shifted paradigms. The result is that I have never
comfortably fit in anywhere regarding typical social
identifications. Religion, for example, is an impossibly
complicated subject and I could never accurately describe myself
with any of the labels provided by OkCupid. Nor have I ever been
able to fit into either side of the Northern/Southern dichotomy,
nor Arab vs. Irish vs. American culture. Combine these
contradictory influences with my own intensely introverted and
contrary nature, and I think it's fair to say that you're just
gonna have to get to know me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Work: I teach. Which is absurd. You just have no idea.
School: I study Middle Eastern history. I'm currently on hiatus
from college so that I can focus on teaching high school kids how
to read and write. I'm not sure when I'll go back.
In the meantime, I still try to do some informal study in my spare
Music: Songwriter. Singer. Rapper. (Seriously.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I read a lot, so it's hard to pick favorites, but...
Maniac Magee, by Jerry Spinelli
Friday, by Robert A. Heinlein
Heavy Metal Islam, by Mark Levine
The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak
I enjoy a lot of Sci-Fi, like Star Wars novels, the Dune series,
etc.; and select Fantasy stuff like the Song of Ice and Fire and
I also try to keep up with young adult fiction, so I can encourage
my students (and anyone else, honestly) to be active readers.
The Daily Show and The Colbert Report
Fair to Midland
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Everything. I'm seriously lost in my own head most of the
At any given moment, I'm thinking about religion, faith, history,
politics, literature, music, relationships, and midgets. Yes, all
at the same time.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
drinking Manischewitz, going out to terrorize goyim.
Stomping shagitz, screwing shiksas,
as long as we're home by Saturday morning.
(I cannot read that prompt without this popping into my head.
Message me if you actually get the reference.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I believe happiness is found in the giant chunky chocolate chip
cookie you split with the person you just had sex with. Even if
that person is yourself.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to talk to me.
Seriously. I'm not going to send the first message. Blame
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