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tagel

34 M Philadelphia, PA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 3:05pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Education
Income
$60,000–$70,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently), LISP (Poorly), French (Poorly), Slovenian (Poorly), Ancient Greek (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm a fun loving, first date paying, traditional American boy all grown up. I've lived in Philly for 7 years, overall its been good to me. I've done a lot of what the city has to offer, but still love finding new things. It amazes me how easy it is to ask out pretty girls, and how easy it is to become bored when I figure out that that's all they bring to the table. I want to go out with a girl who's as fun to be with as they are to look at. Also, I can be long winded, just an fyi.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm an international jewel thief with a heart of gold, trying to avenge my father's death and finally break free from this life of intrigue and danger. Along the way, I plan on becoming a professional brewer, getting a Masters degree in political science, and teaching English overseas.
I’m really good at
Telling inappropriate jokes...like this. Jack, John, and Jill get shipwrecked on a desert island. They find food, water, make shelter, etc. After a few weeks they realize they may not be getting rescued. Over time, men and women start to do, what men and women do when theyre stuck together... One morning Jill wakes up and says to herself, "This isnt right. I love two different men. I feel so guilty. I cant keep living this way." and she goes to the top of a mountain, throws herself off and dies. Jack and John wake up, they search for Jill, eventually they find her, and are both heartbroken... But time goes on, and Jack and John are still stuck on this island together. Over time, men start to do what men do when they are stuck together. Well a few weeks later Jack wakes up and says to John, "This isnt right. I feel so guilty. I cant keep living this way." and John replies, "Youre right. I think we need to bury Jill."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Steinbeck, Vonnegut, Eggers, Klosterman, Ellis, King, Niven, Gaiman...

Movies: Run Ronnie Run, Old Boy, Old Zombie movies, Jiro Dreams of Sushi, Moonrise kingdom, Wet Hot American Summer, New Zombie Movies, Caddyshack, Johnny Dangerously, In Brouges, Zoolander...

Comedy Shows: Henry Rollins, David Cross, Daniel Tosh, Ron White

TV Shows: Mindy Project, Futurama, Arrested Development, Workaholics, Archer, Walking Dead, 30 Rock, Colbert Report, Wire, Star Wars Clone Wars, Firefly, Deadwood, Rome, Breaking Bad, Pulling, Metalocalypse.

Food: I dont eat seafood. For realsies.
The six things I could never do without
Glasses, cell, too many ties, the internet, my sense of humor, an idea of how really good life can be.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What it is I'm supposed to do with my life. Being happy is so easy, and yet sometimes it seems so hard. I have a challenging job, and I'm really good at it, but there's a lot more to life, and Im not as good at those things. ( heh, why am I on a dating site? )

also, Zombie apocalypse.
On a typical Friday night I am
At Bob and Barbras, listeing to jazz, playing Pacman, and trashtalking against the ghosts. One of my favorite memories involved a friend and I who got so into the trash talking that we ended up with a dozen people rooting us on, "Ohhh"ing and "Ahhh" ing as we played pacman. Weird, but awesome.

Also, just laying in bed and watching netflix. telling myself I should go out and "live life to the fullest" but feeling like some of the best times are just laying in bed.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a botched tattoo. Its ok, I got a refund for it. It was supposed to be a 12-inch ruler on my penis, but the guy ran out of room just before he got to two.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–39
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You like guys with glasses, or semi-upstanding citizens, or a guy who holds doors not just for his date but for old ladies too, or if you laughed at the necrophiliac joke in my "Im really good at" section. Avoid messaging me if you want to be engaged by the end of the year.