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tarmacwaffles

31 Dublin, Ireland Man, Cis Man

Man, Cis Man

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 23–46
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, and laughing about it
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Status
Single
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I look like a steak house, but handle like a bistro.

I'm pretty much a more hirsute version of Larry David, which is pretty, preeetttyy, preeetttayyy worrying at times. I did have an argument it the rain with a middle aged couple in a Superquinn carpark because they were parking in a mother and child spot. So yeah, that's my life.

Also, definitely not one of those "nice guys." I really hate those pricks, they are opposite of nice. Saying you're a "nice guy" is dating equivalent of starting a sentence with "I'm not a racist, BUT..."

Also, putting this up here in the head: Don't contact me if you think it's ok to call yourself a Grammar Nazi. What the fuck is wrong with you?? There is nothing cute about how superior you feel because you know when to use whom instead of who. You're basically throwing people who speak English as a second Language under the bus. Those people almost definitely speak more languages than you so how dare you look down on them. Never mind the fact you're gleefully pissing all over people with learning difficulties who could never grasp one of the most complex languages in the world. GOOD JOB. And how dare you trivialize one of the most horrific regimes in history because you know when to use a semi colon. So instead of calling yourself a grammarn*zi, just do yourself and the world a favour and say what you truly are; A Pedantic Asshole with a Superiority Complex.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm an illustrator, art director and substitute teacher who wants to do more writing than he is doing at the moment.

I worked on the Yes Equality Campaign, and I'm now coaching in a GAA Summer Camp. The fact that I seem to know next to nothing about GAA doesn't seem to be a hinderance at all.

I have now had a few paying comedy gigs, so I now can say I have the skills that can pay a small portion of the bills.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-Not sleeping.

-Being too legit to quit.

-I also feel I have a talent of figuring out ways Carl Weathers should be cast in movies. (why couldn't he have played Jor-El in Man of Steel? Answers that don't make you sound like a racist on a postcard)

-Talking to old people. I had do some research about nursing homes, and was kindly welcomed in by a few, as long I mucked in and helped out. Man, old people are awesome, even the ones who forget to wear trousers or the borderline white supremacists. Well, the racist ones aren't that great, in fairness.

-I'm also really fucking good at being modest.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People hear me before they see me. I have no indoor voice. Also, I really hope they notice my hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Favourite book is too hard, but my favourite writer is easy peasy, Terry Pratchett. But I'll give it the old college try anyway. Redefining Realness, The Graveyard Book, The Yiddish Policeman's Union, Summerland, Guards! Guards!, Witches Abroad, White TeethCatcher in the Rye, The Bad Guys Won, Moneyball, I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, Three Nights in October, Night Games, That is All.

Movies: MAD MAX: FURY ROAD, Sister Act, Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Back to The Future, This is Spinal Tap, Thelma and Louise, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Monsters Inc, The Royal Tenenbaums, Seven, The Apartment The Departed, Some Like it Hot. I often fall into spirals of endlessly quoting Anchorman. "Boy, that escalated quickly." I will watch any film that was directed by a woman and/ or features a Black President of the Untied States.

Shows: Parks and Recreation, OITNB (More like Piper is the New Larry, AMIRITE?), Brooklyn 99,Person of Interest, The Good Wife, Elementary, Nashville, Call The Midwife, Last Tango in Halifax, Happy Valley, The Flash and Arrow are the shows I am watching currently.

My favourite shows of all time are either a toss up between Arrested Development, Friday Night Lights, Father Ted, Cheers, Buffy,The Golden Girls, Murder She Wrote, Seinfeld and the West Wing. PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE.

Music: Led Zeppelin, FKA Twigs, Jurassic 5, AC/DC, The Beastie Boys, MetallicA, Beyoncé, M.I.A., Adam Warrock, Janelle Monáe, Tony Bennet, The Be Good Tanyas, Frank Ocean, Friends, Jay-Z, PJ Harvey, God is an Astronaut, Nicki Minaj, Theories Divide.

I think I can find joy in any piece of music where it's super clear the artists doing it are loving what they are doing. That's how I got into hip hop.It was clear that Jurassic 5 and the Beasties were having an amazing time in the recording booth and that really shows.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The internet or access to information (or gifs of bears waving)

Sketchbook and paper.

My Family, friends and my dog (Feel weird calling them things)

High fives. People might say I high five people too much to which I say, they don't high five people enough.

My catcher's mitt and a baseball.

Headphones. Even with no music, I can still ignore / avoid people on the bus.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
One of my favourite singers is Tony Bennett; he served in WW2. How many Nazis did the dude who sung "I left my heart in San Fransisco" kill?

Why don't we have more comics where Batman fights Deathstroke?

What my dog is thinking is about. And what all dogs are thinking about, really.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Generally swinging between buildings, looking for crimes in progress, and hoping my crime fighting won't interfere with my personal life, which it almost always does. Damn that Parker luck!!

Oh, sorry, that's Spider-Man, not me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
There was almost an Irish version of Jackass and I was the Johnny Knoxville, or I least I thought I was. I was probably the Bam Margera.

I will secretly judge you if you list 9gag as one of the things you can't live without. They are awful people for stealing images whole sale and removing the credit to the original artist. Not cool.

I also used to be MUCH heavier and I'm trying to get down to a non life endangering weight by using the new fad diet of eating less and exercising more.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I generally won't respond to messages to that aren't longer than a sentence. Unless that sentence is
"I've ordered too much pizza and I need your help."

Also, not willing to lie about how we met. It's Twenty fucking Fifteen.

While I'm a cis man and I'm in no position to police someone's feminism, I don't want to talk to anyone whose feminism isn't intersectional. Especially when it comes to trans women. So yeah.

And shoutout to couples "looking for fun." Bisexuals are not your interchangeable sex toys. Please go away forever.