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tarmacwaffles

30 M Dublin, Ireland

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, and laughing about it
Sign
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
I look like a steak house, but handle like a bistro.

I'm pretty much a more hirsute version of Larry David, which is pretty, preeetttyy, preeetttayyy worrying at times. I did have an argument it the rain with a middle aged couple in a Superquinn carpark because they were parking in a mother and child spot. So yeah, that's my life.

Also, definitely not one of those "nice guys." I really hate those pricks, they are opposite of nice. Saying you're a "nice guy" is dating equivalent of starting a sentence with "I'm not a racist, BUT..."
What I’m doing with my life
I'm an illustrator, art director and substitute teacher who wants to do more writing than he is doing at the moment.

I also play baseball, yes, baseball in Ireland. I'm a catcher if that means anything to you.

My 18 year old self would have punched me in the dick if I told him how much he'll love running in 10 years.

I have now had a few paying comedy gigs, so I now can say I have the skills that can pay a small portion of the bills.
I’m really good at
-Not sleeping.

-Growing Beards

-Being too legit to quit.

-I also feel I have a talent of figuring out ways Carl Weathers should be cast in movies.

-Talking to old people. I had do some research about nursing homes, and was kindly welcomed in by a few, as long I mucked in and helped out. Man, old people are awesome, even the ones who forget to wear trousers or the borderline white supremacists. Well, the racist ones aren't that great, in fairness.

-I'm also really fucking good at being modest.
The first things people usually notice about me
People hear me before they see me. I have no indoor voice.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favourite book is too hard, but my favourite writer is easy peasy, Terry Pratchett. But I'll give it the old college try anyway. The Graveyard Book, The Yiddish Policeman's Union, Summerland, An Abundance of Katherines, Guards! Guards!, Witches Abroad, Catcher in the Rye, The Bad Guys Won, Moneyball, I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, Paper Towns (even though John Green left a loose thread in that book that STILL bugs me), Three Nights in October, That is All.

Movies: Back to The Future, This is Spinal Tap, Thelma and Louise, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Monsters Inc, The Royal Tenenbaums, Seven, The Apartment The Departed, Some Like it Hot. I often fall into spirals of endlessly quoting Anchorman. "Boy, that escalated quickly."

Shows: Parks and Rec, New Girl, Brooklyn 99Person of Interest, The Good Wife, Elementary, Doctor Who, Nashville and Arrow are the shows I am watching currently.

My favourite shows of all time are either a toss up between Arrested Development, Friday Night Lights, Father Ted, Cheers, Buffy, Seinfeld and the West Wing. PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE.

Music: Led Zeppelin, Jurassic 5, AC/DC, The Beastie Boys, MetallicA, Adam Warrock, Tony Bennet, The Be Good Tanyas, Friends, PJ Harvey, God is an Astronaut, Theories Divide. I think I can find joy in any piece of music where it's super clear the artists doing it are loving what they are doing. That's how I got into hip hop.It was clear that Jurassic 5 and the Beasties were having an amazing time in the recording booth and that really shows.
The six things I could never do without
The internet or access to information (or gifs of bears waving)

Sketchbook and paper.

My Family, friends and my dog (Feel weird calling them things)

High fives. People might say I high five people too much to which I say, they don't high five people enough.

My catcher's mitt and a baseball.

Headphones. Even with no music, I can still ignore / avoid people on the bus.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
One of my favourite singers is Tony Bennett; he served in WW2. How many Nazis did the dude who sung "I left my heart in San Fransisco" kill?

Why don't we have more comics where Batman fights Deathstroke?
On a typical Friday night I am
Generally swinging between buildings, looking for crimes in progress, and hoping my crime fighting won't interfere with my personal life, which it almost always does. Damn that Parker luck!!

Oh, sorry, that's Spider-Man, not me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
There was almost an Irish version of Jackass and I was the Johnny Knoxville, or I least I thought I was. I was probably the Bam Margera.

I will secretly judge you if you list 9gag as one of the things you can't live without. They are awful people for stealing images whole sale and removing the credit to the original artist. Not cool.

I also used to be MUCH heavier and I'm trying to get down to a non life endangering weight by using the new fad diet of eating less and exercising more.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 23–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
I generally won't respond to messages to that aren't longer than a sentence. Unless that sentence is
"I've ordered too much pizza and I need your help."