Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


31 Astoria, NY Man, Cis Man, Non-binary

Man, Cis Man, Non-binary

Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 23-45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:35pm
Queer, Pansexual, Sapiosexual
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
5' 8" (1.73m)
Body Type
Average build
Post grad
English, French (Fluently), German (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
New Jersey native with roots in the Deep South and heart in the Upper Midwest. No Scarlett O'Hara or "Fargo" accent, but I love barbecue, magnolia trees, snow, lakes, bratwurst, and public radio.

Almost my entire adult life has been spent in the Upper Midwest--first Chicago (for undergrad), then Minneapolis (for law school), and it's definitely a part of the country with a special place in my heart. I still miss Minneapolis like crazy, especially its comfortable summers, snowy (not soggy) winters, amazing local music and theater scenes, and open-minded, friendly, unpretentious, fun-loving, progressive people.

I love to travel, even just a short trip to get me out of NYC for a few days. I'm totally open to meeting people beyond the metro area, and if you're in Philadelphia, Northampton, New Haven, Providence, Boston, Baltimore, Albany, DC, or anywhere a BoltBus or Amtrak ride away, I'd love to hear from you!

A big thank you to OKC for adding more gender and orientation options! Of the ones available "queer" works the best for me, but I tend to call myself "unlabeled." I've found myself mostly attracted to women, transmen, and genderfluid/genderqueer folks, but I generally see attraction as evolving or fluctuating. I present on the masculine side of things, but I'm all for the abolition of the gender binary. I practice ethical non-monogamy (some people prefer the term polyamory), as do many of my friends.

Pronouns: he/him or they/them

ENTP, GGG (although I find Dan Savage's biphobia/transphobia problematic).

I'm nonreligious, although I was raised Jewish and still consider myself culturally Jewish.

Politically, I lean pretty far to the left. I consider myself an antiracist feminist who would be a member of a socialist/anticapitalist political party if we had a viable one here. I use words like "cissexist", "ableist," and "kyriarchy" in everyday conversation. I love a good argument, but I'm not interested in dating libertarians, Republicans, or any other kind of right-winger; our basic values would just be too fundamentally different for an intimate relationship to work.

I rather enjoy smoking weed; I don't mind if you don't, but it would be thoroughly awesome if you did.

Because I miss the little "three words" thing at the top of my profile: I am open-minded, inquisitive, and surreal
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm an attorney... well, kind of. I'm a document reviewer, which means I sort through the vast quantities of documentation produced in large-scale litigation. It's a pretty low-stress gig, which means I can spend much of my day streaming episodes of Democracy Now or Welcome to Night Vale. In the near future, though, I'll be fulfilling a longtime dream and going to school for Web development. (What language should I learn?)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Mario Kart, exploring cities, road-tripping, making shit up, napping, dancing, cuddling, crossword puzzles, l'esprit de l'escalier, discovering streaming radio stations from New Zealand and reading long-form journalism on my smartphone instead of working, missing the Q101 bus by mere seconds, thinking up awesome hiking and biking and neighborhood-exploring adventures, being particularly opinionated about most things, making poutine (does anyone want to help me start a food truck?), giving directions.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People always seem to be impressed by my super-thick hair. Also, I may have grown up in New Jersey, but I don't sound like it. My dad grew up in Brooklyn, my mom in Memphis (they met at the University of Arizona, and had me while they were living in Detroit. I am an American geographical mutt), but somehow I ended up with a Midwestern accent that becomes more Southern as I consume more beer.

Oh, and I kinda look like Seth Rogen. At least that's what a lot of people have told me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I realize that my lists are woefully short on women/POC creators. I'm working on this, but feel free to suggest your favorites!

Books: anything by Bill Bryson or John Hodgman, A Confederacy of Dunces, Brave New World, A People's History of the United States, The Disaster Artist. I'm getting ready to start on some feminist/anticapitalist speculative fiction: Ursula K. Le Guin, Octavia Butler, Iain M. Banks.

Movies: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Big Lebowski, History of the World Part 1 (or pretty much anything Mel Brooks), Koyaanisqatsi, THE ROOM. That last one is super-important; I met Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero when they came to Minneapolis in 2009, and I've never missed their annual appearances in NYC since moving back here.

Music: M.I.A., Santigold, Interpol, The Cribs, Spoon, Hot Chip, Grizzly Bear, LCD Soundsystem, Joy Division, Passion Pit, Lykke Li, The Hold Steady, Vampire Weekend, Girl Talk, Sleigh Bells, Animal Collective, Washed Out, Toro y Moi, Wild Flag, Sleater-Kinney, Dan Deacon, The Weeknd, Atmosphere, Lizzo, Titus Andronicus, Purity Ring, Bloc Party, Boards of Canada. Living in Minnesota has also given me a newfound appreciation for Prince, to the point where I loudly sing along to "Let's Go Crazy" or "Purple Rain" every time I hear those songs on the radio. After spending an awesome evening discovering Boards of Canada, I've been trying to find more music that has the trippy, analogue-synth type of sound associated with public information films and children's television shows from the late 60s to early 80s. So far, I've loved Advisory Circle and The Focus Group, but I need more suggestions.

"All My Friends" and "Dance Yrself Clean" by LCD Soundsystem are my two "STOP EVERYTHING AND SHUT UP AND JUST LISTEN AND APPRECIATE HOW AWESOME THIS IS" songs.

I recently got bit by the shape-note singing bug. I get together with a bunch of folks to sing somewhere in the city at least once a week, and it's always a good time. It's an early American folk music tradition that is completely participatory (no audiences), easy to pick up (but there's always more to learn), and delightfully nerdy. If you're not familiar with it (or if you are!), you should totally join me for a singing sometime.

Food: I'm an adventurous eater (might have to draw the line at surströmming or casu marzu, though!), with tastes that lean towards umami, salty, and savory rather than sweet. If I had to narrow my favorites down, I'd say I like anything Vietnamese or Chinese, Chicago-style hot dogs, moules frites, Neapolitan pizza, Hawaiian plate lunch, quality burgers, chicken-fried steak, kimchi, kalbi, shoyu ramen, Waffle House (living in WH territory totally didn't diminish my love for it), Memphis and KC barbecue, and fresh berries.

(UPDATE: I just moved from Crown Heights to Astoria, which means I can say goodbye to Pathmark and do all my grocery shopping at Greek, Italian, Balkan, Colombian, and Egyptian import stores. Awesome.)

Drink: Single-malts, Oregon pinot noir, German lagers, Belgian ales, or pretty much whatever's on special at the bar (unless it's Jäger or Southern Comfort. Yuck.) Also, if any homesick Minnesotans want to help me smuggle cases of Grain Belt Premium back to NYC, contact me immediately.

Shows: My all-time favorites are Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, Tom Goes to the Mayor, classic Simpsons, Bob's Burgers, Futurama, Look Around You, Peep Show, and That Mitchell and Webb Look. I was a bit late to the party on Broad City, Parks & Rec, and Workaholics, but I love all of them. Sometimes I'll get stoned and watch Regular Show, Rick and Morty, or King of the Hill after work and that's pretty much my happy place. My semi-guilty pleasures are The Price is Right and a few reality shows too cringe-y to even mention here (but not The Bachelor or any of its derivatives!). I don't usually have the attention span for hour-long dramas, but Breaking Bad blew my mind and I absolutely adore Mad Men. I'm finally caught up on Game of Thrones--and I give my friends lots of credit for not spoiling it too badly for me!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Good bud, good food, an Internet connection, my friends near and far, comfortable pillows, decent public transportation.

#7 (it's just as arbitrary as 6, isn't it?): a willingness to critique, discuss, and debate. If you're the kind of person who doesn't value discourse, we probably won't have very much fun.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
National, state, and local politics. I listen to NPR, even though I'm staunchly to the left of it, and keep up with a bunch of blogs and news sites (Media Matters, AlterNet, Democracy Now! and, just to name a few) almost every morning. I think a lot about racism, gender essentialism, classism, the carceral state, corporate control of government, and income inequality. How can we rise up and change all of this in an effective way? Might our resistance look like the Occupy movement, or will it take another form entirely?

The various quirks of places and other fascinating cultural phenomena. What baseball team do people in Nashville actually root for? How do all the hipsters I see in San Francisco and Brooklyn seem to know each other, afford a lifestyle of near-constant going out, and coordinate their clothes so ridiculously well? Why do Queens addresses need a hyphen in the middle? Why do Brooklynites consider only Manhattan to be "the city," even though Brooklyn is part of the same city? Why is it that the Italian beef sandwich hasn't caught on outside Chicago? How did the Twin Cities get to be such a hotbed of geek culture?

All sorts of (useless?) trivia. Among the things rattling around in my brain: area codes, Olympic cities, #1 pop songs, city populations, World Series winners, interstate highway termini. You definitely want me on your team for bar trivia, but you don't want to play me in Trivial Pursuit. I also enjoy playing Scrabble, but I'm only so-so at it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I fall right on the line between introvert and extrovert, so on any given night I may want: a sweaty queer dance party, a makeout party, karaoke, a divey bar, a beer-geek bar, a low-key bar without televisions or loud music, or a night in with a couple friends/a lover, a few bowls, and classic video games.

When I lived in Minneapolis, my favorite place to be on a Friday night was drinking beers and gossiping in the front yard with my friends Jami and Heather for one of our infamous yard parties.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I was a kid, I used to read the Yellow and White Pages for fun.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're in NYC, or anywhere in the greater Northeast, and want to hang out somewhere with a nice selection of beers, try a new restaurant with unpronounceable menu items where people aren't Instagramming all the food, walk or bike around a neighborhood or trail, do some kind of fun outdoorsy thing like hiking or geocaching, or make out like teenagers.

You're curious about shapenote singing, or you're a shapenote singer yourself and want to connect with another familiar face at a singing.

You are Ilana Glazer.

You want to go to Spa Castle. (I can't believe I've still never been! But now that I live in Queens it actually doesn't seem like it's halfway across the world!)

You're cool with people who are poly/non-monogamous/who don't adhere to the mainstream conception of what intimate relationships ought to look like.

You secretly wish Mark, Jez, and Super Hans were real.

Bonus points for Tim and Eric fans, cuddlers, and those of you who have seen/want to see The Room.

Also, bonus points if you consider yourself a "maker." If you can do shit with your hands or your body, I am in awe. I don't care if it's cooking, woodworking, knitting, robotics, programming (though not brogramming), playing a musical instrument, DJing, jewelry design, dancing, martial arts, circus shit, homebrewing, or whatever, I want to share in the amazing things you know how to do.

A word of caution: I generally won't respond to unsolicited IMs from cisgender men with a match percentage of less than 90%. There are plenty of other people out there on this site for you; I'm just not interested.

Femme-y gaymer/geek boys with match percentages over 90% who love to cuddle? I'd love to hear from you.

DON'T message me if you have ever seriously used the phrases "I'm not racist/sexist/homophobic/etc. but..." or "#AllLivesMatter." You should also stay away if you have ever unironically described yourself as having a "personal brand." Ugggghhhhh.