Note to visitors: If I've visited your profile, but haven't contacted you, don't assume I'm uninterested.

The single biggest complaint I hear from women on OKC is about being bothered by men they're not interested in, so to reduce spam, I'm no longer sending initial messages of the, "Gee whiz, I'd like to meet you" kind.

If you want to talk, send me a note. It doesn't have to be involved. The single line equivalent of a glance across a crowded room is enough. I promise that I won't take it to mean more than it does.

Who am I?
Being a casual libertine is all about valuing and celebrating human interaction. The sexy stuff just happens as a side effect.

I'm recently single and happy to stay that way for awhile, but still open to ongoing romantic connections. After all, everything gets better the more intimately you know someone. Some of my most interesting friendships started as casual hookups; we give each other relationship advice and support even though we're no longer intimate. It's nice.

I hate that it has to be explicitly stated, but I've done the ethical poly workshops. I understand the concept, process well, and consider myself a fellow traveler, I'm just no longer that earnest a revolutionary. For me, the revolution is the dancing (if you recognize that misquote, we should talk).

I had a wild youth, so I'll be able to match you story for story if you want, but these days I stay healthy, eat right, and find that a very occasional drink early in the evening is my limit if I want to wake up sharp the next morning. Partners who put effort into staying healthy, and can keep up, are my ideal choice.

Regarding my romantic life, and why I'm here: Let's just have fun, ok? I've found that being clear upfront about looking for people who aren't looking for their one and only frees me to be more open, complimentary and flirtatious than otherwise. Weird, huh? But there it is.

Who are you?
It's snarky to say that this section has yet to be determined, but dating should be about broadening one's perspective, and reaching out to people you'll learn from. We can be each other's funhouse mirror, and the more different we are, the more interesting the reflections.

I'm a strong believer that difference doesn't equal incompatibility, but some common ground does help. It would be great if; you really do want to get out and about, you're fascinated with human behavior, and you genuinely enjoy analyzing life almost to death. For all of this, an active life of the mind is the only prerequisite.

I love it when people comment on their match questions. I'd always thought of book burning/flag burning as a simple left wing/right wing litmus test. Recently, one of my matches commented that regardless of politics, books have a real utility, flags are just a symbol, so book burning is more wrong. Original thinking, regardless of whether I agree. It was the reason that I messaged her.

I spent many years devoting my energy to the program I ran for a local nonprofit, and watched the organization grow from a handful of iconoclasts meeting in the back room of a Chinese restaurant to a stable power in local politics. The revolution has mainstreamed, and it was time to move on.

Right now, I'm busy getting my business to the point where it runs itself and doing what anyone who wants to improve himself should be doing; buying a few new outfits, going to the gym a little more often, attending workshops and engaging in healthy introspection.

It's been hard, but the yoga is finally paying off. Physically, I'm in better shape now than I've ever been. It's a bit vain, but I'm really happy that I've got visible abs now.

I'm also learning social dance. I'd taken many dance classes in college, but even the more advanced partnered ballet and modern routines are rigidly choreographed, so there's no lead and follow. I'm finding the communication of touch and movement a delightful new experience.

Jack of all trades, master of none. That's always held an appeal for me. In just about every area I can quantify I'm slightly above the 75th percentile. I'm comfortable with that.

Damn, I'm hoping it's not the one thing I'm insecure about.

If we're talking physical attributes, I'm told that I have noticeably well defined arms and shoulders.

I really like a nice walk around town. I've lived in San Francisco most of my adult life and still manage to find something new around most corners. Stopping into a little place that makes interesting food - doesn't matter what kind - in whatever neighborhood I end up in, is a favorite. Doing it with a friend is more than twice as nice.

I ride a bike. Bicycling has been so much a part of my professional life for so long that I sometimes forget how much it's shaped me, physically and mentally. I'm looking forward to doing a couple of short bicycle tours to my favorite local camping spots before the rain comes back.

The Internet. I think that covers all six in one go. I admit to reading for about 4 hours a day, yet having almost no books in the house. Wikipedia is my best friend and I'm looking forward to the singularity.

It took a while, but I've just about read through all the stuff that interests me in the SFPL Main library.

OKC forces me to choose between Mostly vegetarian and Strictly vegetarian. I've always taken Strictly to mean Vegan, and Mostly to mean not really. I eat cheese and eggs. I don't care what you eat, but I guarantee you'll like what I cook.

Why OKC doesn't have a heteroflexible choice.

I'm beginning to think that there's something structurally flawed with online dating. Instead of creating chemistry with a smouldering glance across a crowded room, and beginning with something positive to counter the little differences every couple surmounts as they're revealed, we start with a list of potential flaws and the impression that a better match might just be a click away.

I'm ready to pack it in and go back to meeting people at live social events. If you want to join me, send me a note.

If you're reading this when you could be outside socializing, I have only one piece of advice. shut down the computer and step slowly away, then run.

I'm a seriously early riser, so unless I nap all afternoon, on Friday night, I'm probably asleep.

I try to zig when others zag. I keep a nonstandard work schedule so that I can shop when the lines are shorter, commute when the streets are empty, and...
Oh crap, party when there's nobody at the club.

On the other hand, thank goodness for SF's service economy schedule, because there's always somebody partying in the middle of the week. On Wednesdays and Thursdays, you can often find me out and about, dancing with myself quite unironically at the local 80s New Wave night .

A little schadenfreude. I'll admit to being tickled when I notice that someone with a really high enemy percent has clicked on my profile and imagine their discomfort while reading some of my match question comments.

OK, fine. I'm a little bit kinky too. I know how to use a flogger and rope, but my core interest is group fun and I am no stranger to play parties. Mission Control is a favorite. Ask about my activity on FL if you're interested.

Go ahead and send me a sweet, unbidden note, and I promise a thoughtful reply. Guys don't receive too many of those, and getting one does wonders for our enthusiasm.