At this point, I don't write first messages. I will not write you first. Really.
Many people browse anonymously, then enable visible browsing to signal interest. That's great, but I'm still not going to message you first.
That doesn't mean I'm not interested and enthusiastic about dating, just that women get inundated, so why add to the spam pile? If you're any reasonable match %, or even if you're not, send me a brief note, I promise a pleasant and reasonable response, and won't take it to mean more than it does.
It's effective advice in general. I recently quickmatched with a dummy profile OKC uses for testing. kaar4932sfsfsfs says,
"You'll get better results if you send messages to people who interest you. We've studied this extensively; women who make the first move end up with better-looking and more desirable matches. We can't emphasize this enough."
Who am I?
Being a casual libertine is all about valuing and celebrating human interaction. The sexy stuff just happens as a side effect.
I hate that it has to be explicitly stated, but I've done the ethical poly workshops. I understand the concept, process well, and consider myself a fellow traveler, I'm just no longer that earnest a revolutionary. For me, the revolution is the dancing (if you recognize that misquote, we should talk).
I had a wild youth, so I'll be able to match you story for story if you want, but these days I stay healthy, eat right, and while I'll still debauch, I find that a very occasional drink early in the evening is my limit if I want to wake up sharp the next morning. Partners who put effort into staying healthy, and can keep up, are my ideal choice.
I'm single right now, but still open to ongoing romantic connections. After all, everything gets better the more intimately you know someone. Some of my most interesting friendships started as casual hookups; we give each other relationship advice and support even though we're no longer intimate. It's nice.
Who are you?
It's snarky to say that this section has yet to be determined, but dating should be about broadening one's perspective, and reaching out to people you'll learn from. We can be each other's funhouse mirror, and the more different we are, the more interesting the reflections.
I'm a strong believer that difference doesn't equal incompatibility, but some common ground does help. It would be great if; you really do want to get out and about, you're fascinated with human behavior, and you genuinely enjoy analyzing life almost to death. For all of this, an active life of the mind is the only prerequisite.
I love it when people comment on their match questions. I'd always thought of book burning/flag burning as a simple left wing/right wing litmus test. Recently, one of my matches commented that regardless of politics, books have a real utility, flags are just a symbol, so book burning is more wrong. Original thinking, regardless of whether I agree. It was the reason that I messaged her.